Define the disability.

That might help.

Does your husband fully understand the disability? There are certainly a wide range and severities of disabilities.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is such an odd thread. OP, if your expenses are so minimal (no mortgage or other debt, no private school tuition or childcare, etc.), how are you possibly spending 20% of your DH's 7-figure income each year (and what are you spending $10k a month on)?

Also, I don't get the whole "if you're working, you do what you want with your money." DH and I both work and I would never think that my income is for my own personal use- as several PPs have said, all of our income is family income. I don't think being a SAHM matters at all. I am totally with your DH- I would be really annoyed if my DH (whether he worked or not) insisted on giving money away to his family (and, particularly, demanded that we give more, even after we already supported them). You are basically choosing your family of origin over your own children- very strange.

We are mostly on the same page and have an overall good marriage. If I asked for a brand new $120k Range Rover or $200k Aston Martin, DH would probably get me one. I don't have a Hermes bag but he would gladly buy me a 10k bag. As I mentioned multiple times already, I did not mention my family to DH yesterday. I have not mentioned buying my brother a car. Maybe I will ask him and he will simply say yes. The allocated fund per month was just a fleeting thought.

You just lost all credibility here. My friends laughed and told me to check out this post. All of our incomes and net worths are significant, we all gave up high income careers to focus on the kids, but NONE of us talk like you do. Your odd name-dropping and patronizing BS are unreal, as are you.

In your little skit - we assume you make a fraction of what you're pretending but still have a deep issue of pissing away money on your Mental Illness Brother (is that PC for something else?) - seem to have forgotten the value of a dollar. And you're making a fool of your pretend husband too.

I don't understand what you want OP. Your husband will give you anything you want, but he has limits to how much you share your money outside of your household. Do you not have access to his accounts? Is that the problem? Is it that you don't know much money you actually have? That is my situation and I don't like it.

Anonymous wrote:I don't buy the OP's husband makes high six figures, but how do you allow a family member with a disability to live with other people? That seems odd to me.

I think a few people got it right earlier, there is fraud going on here with the brother. Also, the OP says if she wanted a very nice car, her husband would buy it without question. That is downright ridiculous. I think the OP started asking for small things and built up and now knows she can get away with anything she wants.

Everything about this story screams fake, right down to the OP constantly name dropping high end brands

I don't buy the OP's husband makes high six figures, but how do you allow a family member with a disability to live with other people? That seems odd to me.

I think a few people got it right earlier, there is fraud going on here with the brother. Also, the OP says if she wanted a very nice car, her husband would buy it without question. That is downright ridiculous. I think the OP started asking for small things and built up and now knows she can get away with anything she wants.

i think that is called prostitution.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you are already swimming in the money you have gotten. I'm a SAHM and I get like an iota of what you get, and I have no idea where the money we're supposedly saving is going. I too am afraid to ask for more, but I think you have it pretty good.

This thread totally started wrong. I should not have mentioned our HHI or my disabled brother. What I wanted to know was whether SAHMs received money from their DH since SAHMs don't earn an income. I was hoping some SAHMs woupld chime in and say their DH put $X into their retirement account or receive $Y per month to use as they please (mani/pedi, gifts, going out).

I started the conversation with DH last night. Did not mention my family at all. Think DH suspects I want to be able to spend money on that childhood friend. If I wanted to go on a girlfriend getaway to Europe with a friend, DH would have no problem with it. If I was willing to stay at a 4 star hotel instead of a 5 star hotel but pay for my friend's plane ticket, I want to be able to have that option. I would rather have a budget per month or year to do as I please.

My husband puts money in my retirement. Who cares. You are spending an insane amount of money.

Anonymous wrote:This is such an odd thread. OP, if your expenses are so minimal (no mortgage or other debt, no private school tuition or childcare, etc.), how are you possibly spending 20% of your DH's 7-figure income each year (and what are you spending $10k a month on)?

Also, I don't get the whole "if you're working, you do what you want with your money." DH and I both work and I would never think that my income is for my own personal use- as several PPs have said, all of our income is family income. I don't think being a SAHM matters at all. I am totally with your DH- I would be really annoyed if my DH (whether he worked or not) insisted on giving money away to his family (and, particularly, demanded that we give more, even after we already supported them). You are basically choosing your family of origin over your own children- very strange.

We are mostly on the same page and have an overall good marriage. If I asked for a brand new $120k Range Rover or $200k Aston Martin, DH would probably get me one. I don't have a Hermes bag but he would gladly buy me a 10k bag. As I mentioned multiple times already, I did not mention my family to DH yesterday. I have not mentioned buying my brother a car. Maybe I will ask him and he will simply say yes. The allocated fund per month was just a fleeting thought.

So many pages in, so my two cents might be redundant, but I think you need to be willing to put in the work to get to a place where you and your husband can be in agreement about how you spend your money.

It sounds like your husband is being extremely generous already, and you are resorting to underhanded ways to shuttle more money to your family. I would be very seriously upset with my spouse for undermining me this way. You are not respecting him, your relationship, or his generosity (in my opinion.)

Start by honoring your husband's already significant contributions, and by honoring the responsibility you have to mutual support, honesty, goal setting etc... in your marriage.

Then move on to a discussion of whether you both could/should/want to be sending more money to anyone else.

This is such an odd thread. OP, if your expenses are so minimal (no mortgage or other debt, no private school tuition or childcare, etc.), how are you possibly spending 20% of your DH's 7-figure income each year (and what are you spending $10k a month on)?

Also, I don't get the whole "if you're working, you do what you want with your money." DH and I both work and I would never think that my income is for my own personal use- as several PPs have said, all of our income is family income. I don't think being a SAHM matters at all. I am totally with your DH- I would be really annoyed if my DH (whether he worked or not) insisted on giving money away to his family (and, particularly, demanded that we give more, even after we already supported them). You are basically choosing your family of origin over your own children- very strange.

What you want OP is a huge fund to do whatever, no questions asked spending. The only women I know who have that work for it!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you are already swimming in the money you have gotten. I'm a SAHM and I get like an iota of what you get, and I have no idea where the money we're supposedly saving is going. I too am afraid to ask for more, but I think you have it pretty good.

This thread totally started wrong. I should not have mentioned our HHI or my disabled brother. What I wanted to know was whether SAHMs received money from their DH since SAHMs don't earn an income. I was hoping some SAHMs woupld chime in and say their DH put $X into their retirement account or receive $Y per month to use as they please (mani/pedi, gifts, going out).

I started the conversation with DH last night. Did not mention my family at all. Think DH suspects I want to be able to spend money on that childhood friend. If I wanted to go on a girlfriend getaway to Europe with a friend, DH would have no problem with it. If I was willing to stay at a 4 star hotel instead of a 5 star hotel but pay for my friend's plane ticket, I want to be able to have that option. I would rather have a budget per month or year to do as I please.

I think you have realized that is not typical. I am a SAHM and I do not have an allowance. I am not a child. I spend money as I need to for my family or myself within reason and he does the same. It has never been an issue. If you didn't mention your situation, this is probably how most people would answer. I don't know of any SAHM friends who have an allowance either (though I'm sure there must be some out there that do), but I am not an employee of my husband, and I would find the entire arrangement strange.

I understand wanting to be generous, but you are way out there. If I wanted to go away with a wealthy girlfriend, and she wanted to go to Europe, but I could only afford Puerto Rico, then we would go to Puerto Rico. I would never allow my friend to pay for me, and I think your "generosity" is a bit strange. It's one thing to pay to support family, but to be spending such extravagant amounts on friends is REALLY not typical and strange.

Also, if I flipped this around, and my husband wanted to support his brother, at the expense of my own children's college accounts, lifestyle, and inheritance, I would be annoyed. I side with your DH on this entire situation.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you are already swimming in the money you have gotten. I'm a SAHM and I get like an iota of what you get, and I have no idea where the money we're supposedly saving is going. I too am afraid to ask for more, but I think you have it pretty good.

This thread totally started wrong. I should not have mentioned our HHI or my disabled brother. What I wanted to know was whether SAHMs received money from their DH since SAHMs don't earn an income. I was hoping some SAHMs woupld chime in and say their DH put $X into their retirement account or receive $Y per month to use as they please (mani/pedi, gifts, going out).

I started the conversation with DH last night. Did not mention my family at all. Think DH suspects I want to be able to spend money on that childhood friend. If I wanted to go on a girlfriend getaway to Europe with a friend, DH would have no problem with it. If I was willing to stay at a 4 star hotel instead of a 5 star hotel but pay for my friend's plane ticket, I want to be able to have that option. I would rather have a budget per month or year to do as I please.

Um, on the first thread, you already mentioned that you spend $10K/month. Obviously this is money your DH earns as you are not earning money.

What you really want to know is whether SAHMs get money from their husbands, no questions asked, into a separate account, to do with as they please.

And the reason you are asking is that you want to conceal your frivolous spending and gifting of your family's money to your deadbeat brother. Money BEYOND the money your husband already gives your brother in the form of free housing and "paying all his bills."
This is disgusting. You and your brother are no better than a con artist, and you should be ashamed of trying to take advantage of your hardworking husband.

Anonymous wrote:I think you are already swimming in the money you have gotten. I'm a SAHM and I get like an iota of what you get, and I have no idea where the money we're supposedly saving is going. I too am afraid to ask for more, but I think you have it pretty good.

This thread totally started wrong. I should not have mentioned our HHI or my disabled brother. What I wanted to know was whether SAHMs received money from their DH since SAHMs don't earn an income. I was hoping some SAHMs woupld chime in and say their DH put $X into their retirement account or receive $Y per month to use as they please (mani/pedi, gifts, going out).

I started the conversation with DH last night. Did not mention my family at all. Think DH suspects I want to be able to spend money on that childhood friend. If I wanted to go on a girlfriend getaway to Europe with a friend, DH would have no problem with it. If I was willing to stay at a 4 star hotel instead of a 5 star hotel but pay for my friend's plane ticket, I want to be able to have that option. I would rather have a budget per month or year to do as I please.

I think you are already swimming in the money you have gotten. I'm a SAHM and I get like an iota of what you get, and I have no idea where the money we're supposedly saving is going. I too am afraid to ask for more, but I think you have it pretty good.