Anonymous wrote:OP, I don't get it either. My husband is rushing to get his passport renewed because I booked a trip to Europe this summer with some friends. I told him I would be happy to pay for him to come along if he gets himself a passport. $110 every 10 years is totally worth it to me so I don't have to think about it.

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Anonymous wrote:so you guys who are on husband's side - why wouldn't you get your passport renewed? what downside is there to having a valid passport?

I tend to resist anything being aggressively pushed by my harpy wife

Anonymous wrote:OP should definitely have an affair with a neighbor.

But first, find out if he has a passport -- if he does, he is her soul mate!

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Anonymous wrote:so you guys who are on husband's side - why wouldn't you get your passport renewed? what downside is there to having a valid passport?

I tend to resist anything being aggressively pushed by my harpy wife

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Anonymous wrote:I can't believe people think the OP is wrong in this. 1 year is plenty of time, I would have given him one month if I were in the woman's shoes, but that's me. This isn't a control thing, it is called getting ahead of the game.

I bet some of y'all are the same ones that don't bother with DMV till the last minute either, even though you get the renewal notice 3 months in advance for a license.

What game are getting ahead of? You think the passport office will close abruptly? Or you think they run out of blank passports?

Normal people act when they get a notice. This is what the notice is for. Normal people don't run to the DMV a year before their license expires to be ahead of the game.

Did you think of the possibility that someone may win a trip to a foreign country? Another scenario, what if one has family overseas and someone dies? What then?

Sometimes, it is just easier to take care of things as they come in, than wait and wait and wait.

OP's husband doesn't have family overseas. He doesn't even want to go overseas.

Yes, but you are responding to a person who thinks it makes sense to prepare for the possibility of winning a trip to a foreign country.

Anonymous wrote:so you guys who are on husband's side - why wouldn't you get your passport renewed? what downside is there to having a valid passport?

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Anonymous wrote:I can't believe people think the OP is wrong in this. 1 year is plenty of time, I would have given him one month if I were in the woman's shoes, but that's me. This isn't a control thing, it is called getting ahead of the game.

I bet some of y'all are the same ones that don't bother with DMV till the last minute either, even though you get the renewal notice 3 months in advance for a license.

What game are getting ahead of? You think the passport office will close abruptly? Or you think they run out of blank passports?

Normal people act when they get a notice. This is what the notice is for. Normal people don't run to the DMV a year before their license expires to be ahead of the game.

Did you think of the possibility that someone may win a trip to a foreign country? Another scenario, what if one has family overseas and someone dies? What then?

Sometimes, it is just easier to take care of things as they come in, than wait and wait and wait.

OP's husband doesn't have family overseas. He doesn't even want to go overseas.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe people think the OP is wrong in this. 1 year is plenty of time, I would have given him one month if I were in the woman's shoes, but that's me. This isn't a control thing, it is called getting ahead of the game.

I bet some of y'all are the same ones that don't bother with DMV till the last minute either, even though you get the renewal notice 3 months in advance for a license.

What game are getting ahead of? You think the passport office will close abruptly? Or you think they run out of blank passports?

Normal people act when they get a notice. This is what the notice is for. Normal people don't run to the DMV a year before their license expires to be ahead of the game.

Did you think of the possibility that someone may win a trip to a foreign country? Another scenario, what if one has family overseas and someone dies? What then?

Sometimes, it is just easier to take care of things as they come in, than wait and wait and wait.

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Anonymous wrote:OP, why in the hell do you not get a colonoscopy RIGHT THIS MINUTE!!! WHY, WHY, WHY? What is the downside to having a colonoscopy RIGHT NOW????

Yes, definitely, getting a passport renewed and having an unnecessary colonoscopy are comparable. Great analogy.

It took me three hours to get my passport renewed waiting on line at the post office.

I'm not sure what point you're making. Our post office is very fast and we don't currently need colonoscopies, though since my husband has a history of prostate cancer in his family, if he doesn't also get his yearlies once he's old enough, I'm sure I will nag him about that, too.

The point I'm making is that you have a priority: getting a passport. You ask -- what is the downside to getting a passport as if one should look at your priority in a vacuum and then you can reduce all arguments against the passport to absurdity. Get a passport! No downside! He's put it off for a year! Of course there is no downside to getting a passport, but it is YOUR priority. And what are the other priorities over the course of the year?

This is the OP. It's not an ideological battle. We have the $$ and time to get our passports renewed. It's really just a matter of spending the hour or whatever doing it.

We don't need counseling. We don't need colonoscopies. We don't even *need* passports for the next couple of months.

This is just something that matters to me, for whatever reason. Yes, partly, for identity - I think of myself as someone with a passport. Partly for spontaneity - if we have passports, we can go somewhere pretty spontaneously. Partly because I know we won't make overseas plans until we actually have our passports in hand.

And mostly because I really do believe it's good to have a valid passport. I don't need you guys all to agree with me. I really don't! This is how I feel, and I am happy that my husband and I can put this stupid thing behind us now.

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Anonymous wrote:this is just a vent, no advice needed: my husband's passport has been expired for a year. i've been asking him, for a year, to get it renewed.

this weekend, i finally dragged him to cvs to get his passport photos taken. today, i asked him to please fill out the passport renewal form so that i could bring it to the post office and send it off. so that we have passports. his response is that i am being a "control freak" and why can't he do this on his own timeline.

because that means that it WILL NEVER HAPPEN is why.

just, background: i spent most of my 20s and 30s living overseas. husband has been overseas basically once, when his parents took him to europe. he almost lived in canada once with an ex but that fell through. obviously, travel and being able to travel is clearly more important to me - and it's something we haven't done at all in the 7 years we've been together. we've traveled a lot in the US, never overseas - except to canada, once.

so, yes, this is extremely frustrating to me. it's frustrating that my husband doesn't have the same wanderlust - but i made peace with that, before i married him. but refusing to get his passport renewed - and making out as if i am the bad guy, as if i am unreasonable, for wanting him to do it - just makes me feel so sad and frustrated.

no, we're not getting a divorce. yes, he has other redeeming qualities. i don't need advice. just annoyed AF.

Plan a vacation for the two of you. But know that he might not get to go. Go and enjoy yourself. See how long it takes for him to get his passport.

He filled out the paperwork about an hour ago. I plan to bring it to the post office today. So hopefully we'll be going on a trip together.

Anonymous wrote:PP here. The PPs are missing the point. If there is something relatively unimportant for you that matters greatly to your spouse, suck it up and do it. This was a really silly issue for him to dig his heels in about. I wouldn't plan a trip and pay for tickets unless current passports were already in possession. Again, I've seen men have to cancel flights because they hadn't factored in processing time. Clearly, OP wants to travel overseas with her hubby.