OP, why are these people allowed to visit you second time in a short period of time after birth?

OP, my FIL visited from out of town after 4 weeks with my first. I'd had a really complex c section and was still largely an invalid. Baby was super high maintenance. He asked DH (at least thankfully not me) to bring him water to the 3rd floor every time he got thirsty. I made dinner and he complained. He never helped. Why he came at all is still a mystery as we were actually going to visit him (BIL was getting married, whole other adventure) just 2 weeks later.

After 2 days I dissolved into tears in my room and refused to leave to serve him anymore. I told DH to kick him out (nicely, ie "it's time to go home now"). He did. He's still scared of me 3 years later and honestly has only visited again once. I can't think of any other time I've behaved like that , but I'm just not sorry.

Keep it up and ignore the crazies on this thread. A newborn is one of the times in life you do not need to "host" and FIL is ridiculous for not knowing this.

My FIL does similar things. He will watch other people cook dinner, set the table, and clear the table and never lift a finger. He leaves dishes all over the house because taking them to the sink is too much. Drives me nuts. Especially because my dad, who is generally a pretty traditional guy, always pitches in, because he is a nice person who doesn't expect to be served.

OP, I think you handled it perfectly. Polite, firm, and moving on. Try not to let the bitching bother you, it reflects worse on him.

And maybe for his next visit, you can teach the toddler how to make coffee. So easy, a 3 year old can do it! (I'm kidding, but it would be funny)

Anonymous wrote:PP (Keurig poster, actually): On Sunday, I was putting the baby down, and DH was dealing with our three oldest (2, 4, and 5) who were having fits about having to come inside, and MIL walks up to him and says, "can you reheat this coffee for me in the microwave?" DH said, "just a minute, or you're welcome to do it yourself." As I was coming down the steps, I saw FIL and MIL standing in the kitchen staring at DH and the three kids, sadly holding the coffee mug ...

My father is a little like this, too. Every once in a while, he needs to make a play for attention.

OMG these people seem like a nightmare. Do they not know how to use a microwave?? Also, DH couldn't ask his parents for help??

Anonymous wrote:PP (Keurig poster, actually): On Sunday, I was putting the baby down, and DH was dealing with our three oldest (2, 4, and 5) who were having fits about having to come inside, and MIL walks up to him and says, "can you reheat this coffee for me in the microwave?" DH said, "just a minute, or you're welcome to do it yourself." As I was coming down the steps, I saw FIL and MIL standing in the kitchen staring at DH and the three kids, sadly holding the coffee mug ...

My father is a little like this, too. Every once in a while, he needs to make a play for attention.

Ugh. These people do not need to be enabled. If they want to be helpless/divas, they can wait! Good for OP and your husband.

PP (Keurig poster, actually): On Sunday, I was putting the baby down, and DH was dealing with our three oldest (2, 4, and 5) who were having fits about having to come inside, and MIL walks up to him and says, "can you reheat this coffee for me in the microwave?" DH said, "just a minute, or you're welcome to do it yourself." As I was coming down the steps, I saw FIL and MIL standing in the kitchen staring at DH and the three kids, sadly holding the coffee mug ...

My father is a little like this, too. Every once in a while, he needs to make a play for attention.

Anonymous wrote:Get a Keurig.

Hell NO! They are so wasteful, and why should OP go out and buy a new appliance because FIL can't make his own damn coffee. This would piss me off to no end.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well maybe he doesn't know how to make coffee with your coffee machine and you sound like a slightly strung out bitch. Six weeks isn't that big of a deal, according to the federal government in fact that is all you get for usable sick leave after having a vaginal birth. Maybe your FIL is a pill, but you could have handled it better.

Wow. OPs GIL didn't have to bitch about it. He could have (a) been an adult and asked her to show him how to use the machine, (b) asked his wife how to use the machine, or even (c) asked his wife to make the coffee. For him to pressure her and grouse about it while OP has her hands full is absurd. I'm sure this is not the only example of FIL wanting to be served. I don't picture him offering to make dinner or offering to clear the plates and load the dishwasher. OP sounds fine. You sound a little crazy.

Uh, or HIS SON, OP'S HUSBAND could show him how. DIL and MIL only expected to help clueless FIL? Your gender stereotype expectations are showing.

Mmmm, no. I'm trying to work within FILs limited scope. Of course OPs husband could also get involved, if a fourth person needs to be dragged into this little one-act. If you knew me, you'd know that I, like OP, don't put up with these expectations of serving a FIL. But thanks for playing.

So your order of should have to put up with this is:
Postpartum DIL
Older MIL
Able-bodied husband

Got it.

No. My post was trying to work within the FIL's scenario, which involved three people. My order would be FIL himself, MIL, new parent DH, and then McDonalds. But your own ageist stereotypes are showing. "Older MIL" contrasted with "able-bodied husband"? Really?

Face are facts. Don't bother an older visitor when a healthy membe of household can help.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well maybe he doesn't know how to make coffee with your coffee machine and you sound like a slightly strung out bitch. Six weeks isn't that big of a deal, according to the federal government in fact that is all you get for usable sick leave after having a vaginal birth. Maybe your FIL is a pill, but you could have handled it better.

Wow. OPs GIL didn't have to bitch about it. He could have (a) been an adult and asked her to show him how to use the machine, (b) asked his wife how to use the machine, or even (c) asked his wife to make the coffee. For him to pressure her and grouse about it while OP has her hands full is absurd. I'm sure this is not the only example of FIL wanting to be served. I don't picture him offering to make dinner or offering to clear the plates and load the dishwasher. OP sounds fine. You sound a little crazy.

Uh, or HIS SON, OP'S HUSBAND could show him how. DIL and MIL only expected to help clueless FIL? Your gender stereotype expectations are showing.

Mmmm, no. I'm trying to work within FILs limited scope. Of course OPs husband could also get involved, if a fourth person needs to be dragged into this little one-act. If you knew me, you'd know that I, like OP, don't put up with these expectations of serving a FIL. But thanks for playing.

So your order of should have to put up with this is:
Postpartum DIL
Older MIL
Able-bodied husband

Got it.

No. My post was trying to work within the FIL's scenario, which involved three people. My order would be FIL himself, MIL, new parent DH, and then McDonalds. But your own ageist stereotypes are showing. "Older MIL" contrasted with "able-bodied husband"? Really?

Anonymous wrote:Do they make coffee at their home? Maybe get them a coffee maker for Christmas or a birthday so they can learn how to use it?

Read the thread. Then come back and answer your own question.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well maybe he doesn't know how to make coffee with your coffee machine and you sound like a slightly strung out bitch. Six weeks isn't that big of a deal, according to the federal government in fact that is all you get for usable sick leave after having a vaginal birth. Maybe your FIL is a pill, but you could have handled it better.

Wow. OPs GIL didn't have to bitch about it. He could have (a) been an adult and asked her to show him how to use the machine, (b) asked his wife how to use the machine, or even (c) asked his wife to make the coffee. For him to pressure her and grouse about it while OP has her hands full is absurd. I'm sure this is not the only example of FIL wanting to be served. I don't picture him offering to make dinner or offering to clear the plates and load the dishwasher. OP sounds fine. You sound a little crazy.

Uh, or HIS SON, OP'S HUSBAND could show him how. DIL and MIL only expected to help clueless FIL? Your gender stereotype expectations are showing.

Mmmm, no. I'm trying to work within FILs limited scope. Of course OPs husband could also get involved, if a fourth person needs to be dragged into this little one-act. If you knew me, you'd know that I, like OP, don't put up with these expectations of serving a FIL. But thanks for playing.

So your order of should have to put up with this is:
Postpartum DIL
Older MIL
Able-bodied husband

Got it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:all this over coffee?

Of course not. Op seriously doesn't like her in-laws and resents having them in the way. Because op is a good brainwashed feminist, she knows that the way to handle even the most trivial dispute with a man is to stand on principle and start world war III rather than spend 30 seconds making the old geezer a fresh pot to avoid needless family conflict. She doesn't seem to know genetics and must have forgot this is her new baby's grandfather and based on that perhaps she could have avoided this. I guess she never intends to accept any holiday or birthday gifts from the in-laws either for the child, not any kind of financial help for the rest of the child's life, nor does she wish to maintain a peaceful relationship with him.

Op maybe you just need to get a grip, why did you even invite them to stay at your home if you weren't prepared to host?

Your precious little male ego is so mad you won't be catered to be women, as you were raised to expect to be. Boo hoo!

Do they make coffee at their home? Maybe get them a coffee maker for Christmas or a birthday so they can learn how to use it?

Anonymous wrote:Send him a tutorial. https://video.search.yahoo.com/search/video;_ylt=AwrBT9z3dMRW5fEAc1VXNyoA;_ylu=X3oDMTEyNTg5NnYzBGNvbG8DYmYxBHBvcwMxBHZ0aWQDQjE1OTFfMQRzZWMDc2M-?p=How+To+Make+Coffee+For+Dummies&fr=aaplw#action=view&id=2&vid=e8aa05f00f8c95984b9d6aff11b040c8

But then she'd have to help him use her fancy computer.