Only as the kids have gotten older and my son has risen to the top (hate the term but its the only way to get the point across) have they suddenly taken notice and now because it's in THEIR best interest or they have something to gain because it serves them, are they suddenly mildly interested whereas they were rude and cold to me when I needed a friend the most (when I got there and knew no one), I also had invited a group of them to my home for coffee the second year I was there to reach out one more time and most said yes but 2 days before one of them changed a bday luncheon to which many of them were invited and about 6 or 7 of them cancelled on me to attend the luncheon. The only ones that did come were not invited or part of that circle.

Anonymous wrote:

That very well may be; however OP indicated this was the last time she invited anyone over (3-4 of them did show up. What about them? Were they rich too? Only the poor ones showed up? How does she explain away that?)
And to be upset about a casual "hey who wants to come over for coffee" that you are using it 4 years later to explain why you haven't socialized with anyone from school because they are all horrible rich people is bizarre and says a lot about Op's role in this.

I don't understand why you keep assuming that OP treated the parents who did show up to her coffee badly or never became friends with them. OP did say she made some friends at her son's school, just not members of that golden rich inner circle that is cozying up to her now:

Eventually I overcame my insecurities and through my son met a number of nice women, a few more down to earth ones who I naturally gravitated towards and became quite friendly with.

The coffee attempt was her last try at making friends with this one standoffish circle of women, not anyone at all from the school. And OP's decision to stop trying with this one circle was certainly not "bizarre." She had already tried making small talk several times with them at school events and they walked away, then they flaked out of her coffee at the last minute without apology or attempted friendly overture. You are totally making "Op's role in this" up in your head, because she tried and failed with these women and it sure doesn't seem like it was her fault.

That very well may be; however OP indicated this was the last time she invited anyone over (3-4 of them did show up. What about them? Were they rich too? Only the poor ones showed up? How does she explain away that?)
And to be upset about a casual "hey who wants to come over for coffee" that you are using it 4 years later to explain why you haven't socialized with anyone from school because they are all horrible rich people is bizarre and says a lot about Op's role in this.

Eventually I overcame my insecurities and through my son met a number of nice women, a few more down to earth ones who I naturally gravitated towards and became quite friendly with.

The lady who moved her luncheon may very well have been one of the women who had RSVP'd to OP's party. Read OP's post again:

I also had invited a group of them to my home for coffee the second year I was there to reach out one more time and most said yes but 2 days before one of them changed a bday luncheon to which many of them were invited and about 6 or 7 of them cancelled on me to attend the luncheon. The only ones that did come were not invited or part of that circle.

It's not totally clear from OP's post whether the person who moved their lunch date was invited to OP's house, but it's certainly possible that she was among the group "of them" that OP invited to her house. In which case, SO, SO RUDE.

And even if it was a different woman, for 7 women to cancel out of a coffee at your house 2 days before to attend another event is also really, really rude. Did not one of these 7 women think to say to the hostess, oh actually I and a few others have another commitment at that time, would you consider thinking about another time of day? And did not one of them make amends or another date with OP? It's just RUDE, especially since they knew OP was new to the school and easily should have realized she was trying to make friends. Where were their brains or consideration for someone besides themselves or their own inner circle. Just so thoughtless and rude.

DO NOT WANT.

Anonymous wrote:The lady who moved her luncheon may very well have been one of the women who had RSVP'd to OP's party. Read OP's post again:

I also had invited a group of them to my home for coffee the second year I was there to reach out one more time and most said yes but 2 days before one of them changed a bday luncheon to which many of them were invited and about 6 or 7 of them cancelled on me to attend the luncheon. The only ones that did come were not invited or part of that circle.

It's not totally clear from OP's post whether the person who moved their lunch date was invited to OP's house, but it's certainly possible that she was among the group "of them" that OP invited to her house. In which case, SO, SO RUDE.

And even if it was a different woman, for 7 women to cancel out of a coffee at your house 2 days before to attend another event is also really, really rude. Did not one of these 7 women think to say to the hostess, oh actually I and a few others have another commitment at that time, would you consider thinking about another time of day? And did not one of them make amends or another date with OP? It's just RUDE, especially since they knew OP was new to the school and easily should have realized she was trying to make friends. Where were their brains or consideration for someone besides themselves or their own inner circle. Just so thoughtless and rude.

DO NOT WANT.