Anonymous wrote:Hello to Angela and others who are going through the early stages of breast cancer treatments.

When I was where you are 11+ years ago (Stage III, lots of positive lymph nodes and highly aggressive cancer), all I could see was a brick wall--with so many surgeries and chemo and radiation treatments in front of me. My bald self with missing breasts (I had a double mastectomy) couldn't envision anything beyond all that. What I wanted to hear then was that there would be a future beyond the pain and fear. I wanted the promise that I would be OK.

I and so many others in the breast cancer survivor community who are living happy and healthy lives are here to root you on and show you what you will accomplish. Yes, there are those who lose the fight and we mourn each of them, but you need to know that so many of us live and come out stronger on the other side. Trust that you will be one of us, and believe that there is a wonderful life on the other side of the hurdles you now face. We are here to help you achieve it.

Warm and loving hugs from your sisters.

I'm Trudy from the support thread (stage IIIC cancer patient). Thank you VERY much for your post. It is gratifying to read of lymph node-positive, high grade, stage III BC patients who are doing well 11 years later. I appreciate your reminder that there is hope. Hugs back to you!

Angela, thinking of you & hope you're doing well! Here's the support thread I started in case you want to check in:

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/0/533746.page#8366267

~Trudy

Anonymous wrote:Angela here. I know what you mean pp. How have you been doing? I saw where you said you have an AMA post on here somewhere, but I don't know what AMA is, and I don't know where to find it. Lol. you don't have family nearby you either? I only have my husband here. He is in the USAF. His mother will be coming here by the end of the month to help some.I have been taking notes on everything! I even just wrote down about the cream. For the most part, blood samples, and blood pressure has been taken from my left arm anyway. once or twice they almost did the right arm. They actually told me the same thing. Right now, I have a lot of swelling in my arm, so it is not hard to realize ( do not use that arm!) There is a little concern about the swelling still being present. Not as much now, because it has gone down tremendously. I was so glad to hear from you again. Also, I was astonished my thread was kept up. Are you scared? I am. I think I have become more afraid over the past 24 hours than before. I am home now, and nothing feels the same.

Hi Angela,

Stage 4 AMA poster here. I apologize! I should have explained what I meant and where you could find the thread if you wanted to read it. As a PP noted, AMA means 'ask me anything' and I started a thread in Off Topic awhile back to ask/answer questions about cancer, something that is really hard to talk about until you find yourself facing it. It was my first thread ever on DCUM and I was so afraid of what people might say! But, it has turned into an incredibly supportive thread, for me, and for other people who shared their experiences. Here's the link if you feel like reading...

http://www.dcurbanmom.com/jforum/posts/list/480229.page

As for how I'm doing, well, some days it's uphill. Sharply uphill. I've had a lot of those uphill days lately. I've also had a lot of complications and setbacks. The important thing to remember is that every experience is different, even though we're on the same...journey...for lack of a better word. I guess what I'm trying to say is it can sometimes be extra scary reading about other peoples' experiences, just like it's scary to read Dr. Google. We all hit the wall some time. It might be during diagnosis, it might be during treatment. But just because I had complications doesn't mean you will and it's important to ask for/receive support for the place you're at and not worry too much (hard to do, I know) about what is coming.

The other thing I learned, early on, is that yes, you are right, nothing is the same. But, you can still have a good life even while undergoing difficult things. For me, I love my work. My amazing boss has made it possible for me to work at home (I had started a new job just before learning exactly how advanced my cancer was.) and my friends and neighbors have been amazing in helping me work out the details of daily living. Yes, I have no living family, so, like you, I don't have traditional supports in place. That said, I'm surprised, humbled, and grateful that so many in my community have offered so generously. Identifying your network and community will likely be very important to you. You'll need help. I'm not suggesting you will be helpless. You won't be. But you will have days where you're very tired and you need to eat and it is just too exhausting to cook. That's when you need help.

Or, if you're like me, you'll have a puppy who needs a much longer walk than you can do at the moment.

You asked if I'm scared. Yes, I'm absolutely scared, at a very fundamental level. My birthday was last week and I melted down. I was so annoyed with myself because I thought I should have seen it coming and talked myself out of the sad and scared. Of course, that's silly, but I get easily annoyed with myself. Plus, one of the things I forgot is that I'm not scared every day. You will not be scared every day.

So, this is what I learned last week. Fear, and grief, come in waves. I think I know when they're going to come, but I don't always. I will wake up slammed by them occasionally. My job is to hang on in every way possible. Sometimes, this means falling apart and taking to my couch with my pets and the TV. Sometimes, it means asking for help. Sometimes, it means putting on my shoes and taking a walk.

Know this. There are some pretty amazing people here, reading your thread, thinking about you, and ready to talk (write? I dunno. What is it we do here?) to you anytime. We'll answer questions, listen, and understand as best we can.

You are not alone.

Hello to Angela and others who are going through the early stages of breast cancer treatments.

When I was where you are 11+ years ago (Stage III, lots of positive lymph nodes and highly aggressive cancer), all I could see was a brick wall--with so many surgeries and chemo and radiation treatments in front of me. My bald self with missing breasts (I had a double mastectomy) couldn't envision anything beyond all that. What I wanted to hear then was that there would be a future beyond the pain and fear. I wanted the promise that I would be OK.

I and so many others in the breast cancer survivor community who are living happy and healthy lives are here to root you on and show you what you will accomplish. Yes, there are those who lose the fight and we mourn each of them, but you need to know that so many of us live and come out stronger on the other side. Trust that you will be one of us, and believe that there is a wonderful life on the other side of the hurdles you now face. We are here to help you achieve it.

Warm and loving hugs from your sisters.

I'm the new stage 2 poster above. I'll follow you to the new thread, and sign in as Suzy.

AMA = ask me anything

This might be a crazy idea, but I'm going to start a cancer support thread in this forum in case anyone wants to participate. It would be wonderful if we could all have nicknames. I've already picked a perfect one for myself & I'll share it on the thread.

Angela here. I know what you mean pp. How have you been doing? I saw where you said you have an AMA post on here somewhere, but I don't know what AMA is, and I don't know where to find it. Lol. you don't have family nearby you either? I only have my husband here. He is in the USAF. His mother will be coming here by the end of the month to help some.I have been taking notes on everything! I even just wrote down about the cream. For the most part, blood samples, and blood pressure has been taken from my left arm anyway. once or twice they almost did the right arm. They actually told me the same thing. Right now, I have a lot of swelling in my arm, so it is not hard to realize ( do not use that arm!) There is a little concern about the swelling still being present. Not as much now, because it has gone down tremendously. I was so glad to hear from you again. Also, I was astonished my thread was kept up. Are you scared? I am. I think I have become more afraid over the past 24 hours than before. I am home now, and nothing feels the same.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Angela, I'm still here. I was a PP with early stage BC. I had a lumpectomy and radiation.
So sorry to hear of your diagnosis and genetic testing results. But it sounds like you are on the right track and getting good care.

I found the waiting to be so hard. Not that it's a picnic later, but I didn't realize how long it would take to confirm everything and finalize the plan. So I feel for you being in the midst of this!

I'm thinking of you and wishing you excellent care and supportive people around you. Sending you prayers!

Thank you for the kind words. Especially when you are going through this battle too. Yourself and the other BC poster are in my prayers and thoughts. I can't express in words how it helps to talk with someone who is fighting the same battle at the same time. You did not have to do chemotherapy? I can say for sure that I know I will. They have spoken to me about a port? It will be another surgery for me. I never knew that is how it works. I thought it was just like an IV. Well, this is my moment of weakness.I am scared.I'm scared of many things right now. I can only try to focus on positive things, but it is much easier said than done.

Stage 4 AMA poster here. (Sometimes, I think we need better nicknames than this, but we do what we have to do.) You mentioned being concerned about a port. Yes, it's another surgery, but it's pretty direct and easy in the scheme of things. Usually, they do the twilight anesthesia, as described by the PP. In my case, because I did not have anyone to drive me home, I was not eligible for twilight and had my port placed under local anesthesia, so I was awake the whole time. I was never in pain, and recovered fairly easily. It was an odd experience, but a short outpatient surgery and the benefits of having a port far outweigh the difficulty of having multiple IVs. Like the PP, my port site took awhile to heal and it was painful for a few days, but not intolerably painful. A PP mentioned EMLA, which is the cream to apply to numb the area when your port needs to be accessed (for chemo). Definitely ask for it if it isn't mentioned, but it didn't work for me, and I'm told there are a lot of people it doesn't work for. Don't worry about that. It gets easier and easier every time they access the port and soon is no worse than a blood test, in my opinion.

Oh, something I didn't learn right away. Since you've already had surgery, make sure that any BP measures routinely taken during clinic visits, or any bloodwork taken before you have a port are taken from the arm opposite where you had your surgery. This is important.

Continuing to think of you daily and sending the best of thoughts. I know that everything is scary and overwhelming at this time, but you have support here.

Anonymous wrote:New BC poster here, Stage 2, am almost through chemo, will have surgery in about a month, then radiation. That order was to shrink the tumor enough for a lumpectomy (hopefully). To be honest I hated the port initially. It stayed tender a lot longer than I anticipated. Make sure they prescribe a numbing cream to put on the port before your chemo - my doctor said one hour ahead but I found two hours ahead works best. A great deal of the problem seems to be that it is located right were my bra straps rub, and I haven't found a strapless bra that gives enough support. I've actually heard of women drawing the placement of their straps on their chest to show their surgeon where not to put it. I would at least have that conversation.

That said I decided after a few rounds of chemo that the port is my very good friend - I'm having 16 chemo rounds and that many iv's would be a disaster - not to mention the tissue damage.

I often have problems with anesthesia but what was needed for the port was very light - I believe they called it a twilight anesthesia and I had no problem with that at all. I woke up quickly with no nausea.

Good luck to you!

Thank you for the advice, that's good to know. No one mentioned the drawing to me. I will do that. How did your body tolerate chemotherapy? I am already sleeping a lot. I cannot take pain medicine, because I am allergic to it. I have been my whole life. Again, I am so sorry to hear from another person going through this. I'm sure if you feel like I do, you don't want to hear that. I hope you stick around and if you don't mind sharing your process. I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers too.

New BC poster here, Stage 2, am almost through chemo, will have surgery in about a month, then radiation. That order was to shrink the tumor enough for a lumpectomy (hopefully). To be honest I hated the port initially. It stayed tender a lot longer than I anticipated. Make sure they prescribe a numbing cream to put on the port before your chemo - my doctor said one hour ahead but I found two hours ahead works best. A great deal of the problem seems to be that it is located right were my bra straps rub, and I haven't found a strapless bra that gives enough support. I've actually heard of women drawing the placement of their straps on their chest to show their surgeon where not to put it. I would at least have that conversation.

That said I decided after a few rounds of chemo that the port is my very good friend - I'm having 16 chemo rounds and that many iv's would be a disaster - not to mention the tissue damage.

I often have problems with anesthesia but what was needed for the port was very light - I believe they called it a twilight anesthesia and I had no problem with that at all. I woke up quickly with no nausea.

Good luck to you!

Anonymous wrote:Angela, I'm still here. I was a PP with early stage BC. I had a lumpectomy and radiation.
So sorry to hear of your diagnosis and genetic testing results. But it sounds like you are on the right track and getting good care.

I found the waiting to be so hard. Not that it's a picnic later, but I didn't realize how long it would take to confirm everything and finalize the plan. So I feel for you being in the midst of this!

I'm thinking of you and wishing you excellent care and supportive people around you. Sending you prayers!

Thank you for the kind words. Especially when you are going through this battle too. Yourself and the other BC poster are in my prayers and thoughts. I can't express in words how it helps to talk with someone who is fighting the same battle at the same time. You did not have to do chemotherapy? I can say for sure that I know I will. They have spoken to me about a port? It will be another surgery for me. I never knew that is how it works. I thought it was just like an IV. Well, this is my moment of weakness.I am scared.I'm scared of many things right now. I can only try to focus on positive things, but it is much easier said than done.