That's totally fine, but it reflects that you have different needs and interests in terms of vacationing than they do. You are just at a different place than them, and it isn't going to work out unless someone is doing something that they don't really want to do. I have two kids that are older than yours (8 and 11), and honestly, a vacation that requires dealing with nap schedules and younger kids who need to be entertained and have kid friendly food doesn't sound that appealing to me, even though I have my own kids and relatively inexpensive tastes.

My kids are older than your kids are. I would do a long weekend with little ones as long as we had separate accommodations. I wouldn't need 5 star.

Okaaaaayyyyy. Now we know what Random PP would do and wouldn't need. How this helps OP, I'm not sure...

I was responding to the other random pp with kids who are 8 and 11. I think most people can handle a long weekend (as opposed to a full week) in less than 5 star conditions.

Something for Op to consider anyway.

I'm the poster you are responding to. I don't need "5 star conditions" and can "handle" a long weekend, or even a week, as I am a functional adult. However, it isn't something that sounds like a fun vacation to me and I don't pick vacations based on what I can "handle." If a relative expressed that it were really important to them that my family go, of course I would do so. If they just asked if I felt like doing it, I would probably say we had other vacation plans.

OP - here is a thought. The next time your parents come to visit, pretend you are vacationing in your home town and plan activities accordingly. Tell your parents up front. If they don't want to go along with it, at least you know it won't be any different at a beach.

Anonymous wrote:FFS, say: on Tuesday, I'm taking Lucy and Liam to the zoo from 9-11:30 then Hells Bells for lunch. Hope you can join us.

This exactly.

OP - if you got a beach house, who would cook and clean? I've said this on this thread before but your dream vacation sounds terrible to me - and I have similarly aged kids. In fact, we did it once with my family and some family friends and I could not wait to go home - it was awful. It was literally all cooking enormous meals and cleaning up after them ALL the time while chasing the kids. It sounds like the real problem is you are not flexible on your idea of vacation. Or quality time. I think there are a lot of ways to get the things you claim you want without going on a week long beach vacation with your family to the Jersey shore.

You can go to a nice area - let them stay in Hotel Fancy and your family can stay in Hotel Economy. Meet up during the day. Done.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you find out some fancy place they like to go and go there? And invite them to go too?

OP here. Given that our kids are 12 months and 3 years old, we are not interested in spending $$$ and going to fancy places right now. Our inexpensive beach town vacations where we can take a lot of naps, eat kid friendly food and that are within driving distance seem like the best and easiest choice for right now, especially given that we won't have any childcare help on the trip. When they're older, sure, fancy vacations may be more appealing.

So, it's not so much that your parents don't want to vacation with you, they don't want to go on inexpensive, family-friendly vacations with you and you don't want to go on adult, more expensive vacations with them.

You know what? My parents and siblings don't want to go on those types of inexpensive family-friendly vacations either. We have 4 yo twins and my parents are in their 80's and my siblings kids are in their 20's (we are the youngest and they had kids early, we had kids late). For the last 3 years, we've taken the kids on vacations with the family that the family also enjoys. It means that we do have to spend a little more money for the family to vacation together, but so be it. I'm not making this a hill to die on and blaming my parents for not wanting to go to the beach and eat at inexpensive, family-friendly restaurants. That's not a very appealing vacation for them. So, we've taken them to the grandparents house once, then we went on a cruise once where everyone enjoyed the levels of accommodation they wanted, and we went to a resort once. It was more expensive than our private vacations, but we were able to do some family-friendly and inexpensive side trips or meals while still spending a significant amount of time with the family. It was the compromise that allowed my kids to go on vacation with the grandparents, aunts, uncles and cousins without making the family take vacations they weren't interested in.

So, you need to take responsibility that you don't want to go on vacation with your parents rather than they don't want to go on vacation with you. They are perfectly happy with sharing time with their grandchildren at your home. If you want to go on vacation together, you need to do so on terms that they can accept rather than forcing them to go on your terms.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Given that our kids are 12 months and 3 years old, we are not interested in spending $$$ and going to fancy places right now. Our inexpensive beach town vacations where we can take a lot of naps, eat kid friendly food and that are within driving distance seem like the best and easiest choice for right now, especially given that we won't have any childcare help on the trip. When they're older, sure, fancy vacations may be more appealing.

That's totally fine, but it reflects that you have different needs and interests in terms of vacationing than they do. You are just at a different place than them, and it isn't going to work out unless someone is doing something that they don't really want to do. I have two kids that are older than yours (8 and 11), and honestly, a vacation that requires dealing with nap schedules and younger kids who need to be entertained and have kid friendly food doesn't sound that appealing to me, even though I have my own kids and relatively inexpensive tastes.

My kids are older than your kids are. I would do a long weekend with little ones as long as we had separate accommodations. I wouldn't need 5 star.

Okaaaaayyyyy. Now we know what Random PP would do and wouldn't need. How this helps OP, I'm not sure...

I was responding to the other random pp with kids who are 8 and 11. I think most people can handle a long weekend (as opposed to a full week) in less than 5 star conditions.

Something for Op to consider anyway.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Given that our kids are 12 months and 3 years old, we are not interested in spending $$$ and going to fancy places right now. Our inexpensive beach town vacations where we can take a lot of naps, eat kid friendly food and that are within driving distance seem like the best and easiest choice for right now, especially given that we won't have any childcare help on the trip. When they're older, sure, fancy vacations may be more appealing.

That's totally fine, but it reflects that you have different needs and interests in terms of vacationing than they do. You are just at a different place than them, and it isn't going to work out unless someone is doing something that they don't really want to do. I have two kids that are older than yours (8 and 11), and honestly, a vacation that requires dealing with nap schedules and younger kids who need to be entertained and have kid friendly food doesn't sound that appealing to me, even though I have my own kids and relatively inexpensive tastes.

My kids are older than your kids are. I would do a long weekend with little ones as long as we had separate accommodations. I wouldn't need 5 star.

Okaaaaayyyyy. Now we know what Random PP would do and wouldn't need. How this helps OP, I'm not sure...

Anonymous wrote:

Given that our kids are 12 months and 3 years old, we are not interested in spending $$$ and going to fancy places right now. Our inexpensive beach town vacations where we can take a lot of naps, eat kid friendly food and that are within driving distance seem like the best and easiest choice for right now, especially given that we won't have any childcare help on the trip. When they're older, sure, fancy vacations may be more appealing.

That's totally fine, but it reflects that you have different needs and interests in terms of vacationing than they do. You are just at a different place than them, and it isn't going to work out unless someone is doing something that they don't really want to do. I have two kids that are older than yours (8 and 11), and honestly, a vacation that requires dealing with nap schedules and younger kids who need to be entertained and have kid friendly food doesn't sound that appealing to me, even though I have my own kids and relatively inexpensive tastes.

My kids are older than your kids are. I would do a long weekend with little ones as long as we had separate accommodations. I wouldn't need 5 star.

There are lots of fancy beach resorts that even have kids' amenities. Ritz Carltons, Four Seasons, even some nice Marriotts.

We got water hook up and electrical hookups out in our backyard. Family is welcome to pitch their tent out their any time. If you let us know in advance we'll even order you a porto potty. Otherwise, them woods out back are just fine. Yeehaw!

Given that our kids are 12 months and 3 years old, we are not interested in spending $$$ and going to fancy places right now. Our inexpensive beach town vacations where we can take a lot of naps, eat kid friendly food and that are within driving distance seem like the best and easiest choice for right now, especially given that we won't have any childcare help on the trip. When they're older, sure, fancy vacations may be more appealing.

That's totally fine, but it reflects that you have different needs and interests in terms of vacationing than they do. You are just at a different place than them, and it isn't going to work out unless someone is doing something that they don't really want to do. I have two kids that are older than yours (8 and 11), and honestly, a vacation that requires dealing with nap schedules and younger kids who need to be entertained and have kid friendly food doesn't sound that appealing to me, even though I have my own kids and relatively inexpensive tastes.

FFS, say: on Tuesday, I'm taking Lucy and Liam to the zoo from 9-11:30 then Hells Bells for lunch. Hope you can join us.

I think having family visit you for 5 days in which they don't want to leave the house and in which I am expected to cook and clean for them on top of taking care of my kids, only to get criticized that my housekeeping isn't up to their standards, is a lot of accommodating other people.

Then why not be more upfront with them about those issues? Ask them to stay at a hotel for part of their visit, or tell them you really want to go out and do more fun stuff around DC when they are there.

OP, you have 2 kids, ages 3 and 1. Carry on.