Anonymous
Post 12/28/2015 13:00     Subject: MIL just screamed at me
I just want to say that I THE WAY you decline dessert makes a big difference.

Are you giving the impression with your tone, even accidentally, that MIL is not that important?

I think the burden is on the mom in this case to be extra careful to make MIL feel included because MIL only gets to see family occasionally and has little power over that fact.

I think a very apologetic tone and sincere, warm gratitude for hosting could go a very long way, even if you end up dragging your kid out of there for a nap.
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2015 21:00     Subject: MIL just screamed at me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You put the toddler to nap on grandma's bed and sit and have the dessert.

No way did I let my toddler hold me hostage on holidays. And it's only lunchtime -- did you see these people yesterday or on Christmas eve? If not, you bugging out around noon is rude. It's your child's family.


+1
Your MIL probably made a nice homemade dessert and has been looking forward to this for weeks. Get over it. The holidays are a time when schedules and routines can be relaxed. A simple, "It's DD's naptime soon so please excuse any misbehavior. We'd love more time with you though. Is there anything I can do to help with dessert?"

-signed, a mom with two little ones who is usually strict about naps, but puts family first


Not allowing your overtired toddler to scream at the table and throw pie at granny IS putting family first, lol.

Anonymous
Post 12/27/2015 20:57     Subject: MIL just screamed at me
She probably just reacted because you likely could have eaten 3 desserts from the time you initially said you were leaving to the actual time you did - 5 times later without actually managing to do it.
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2015 20:24     Subject: MIL just screamed at me
Anonymous wrote:You put the toddler to nap on grandma's bed and sit and have the dessert.

No way did I let my toddler hold me hostage on holidays. And it's only lunchtime -- did you see these people yesterday or on Christmas eve? If not, you bugging out around noon is rude. It's your child's family.


+1
Your MIL probably made a nice homemade dessert and has been looking forward to this for weeks. Get over it. The holidays are a time when schedules and routines can be relaxed. A simple, "It's DD's naptime soon so please excuse any misbehavior. We'd love more time with you though. Is there anything I can do to help with dessert?"

-signed, a mom with two little ones who is usually strict about naps, but puts family first
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2015 19:44     Subject: MIL just screamed at me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If you "throwing money at it" simply means that you hand your overly tired, tantruming kid to the staff to deal with when you get home....you honestly have no right to judge how Op is handling her own situation. You clearly have a unique sort of set up at your house that most people do not have.



I don't know why I keep checking this thread. I am checking weather for our destination this week and keep clicking back.

I never handed off my kid. I lessened my stress by outsourcing cooking, dishes, laundry, cleaning and landscaping. My kid was extremely easy as an infant/toddler. I wrote earlier that he was difficult at age 2. We never made afternoon plans during that time. Pushing lunch/nap was not a big deal. Kids would often fall asleep in the car. DH and I took turns on weekends staying home with napper while other spouse went out with older DS. Our situation was not unique at all.


Fine. If you had someone else doing your laundry/errands/cooking/cleaning/yard work then your stress level was vastly different than most people. Most of us do not have the option of handing off all of our responsibilities to staff. We come home with a cranky kid and a pile of laundry, meals to cook, weeds to pull, bathrooms to clean..
Anonymous
Post 12/27/2015 19:39     Subject: MIL just screamed at me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You put the toddler to nap on grandma's bed and sit and have the dessert.

No way did I let my toddler hold me hostage on holidays. And it's only lunchtime -- did you see these people yesterday or on Christmas eve? If not, you bugging out around noon is rude. It's your child's family.


+1


Not every toddler will just conk out on any available bed.

I would be very clear that you are leaving at x time due to naps well in advance.

The bigger issue is that she screamed at you and DH said nothing. I would have packed up the kids and walked out right then--and DH had darned well better come too.


Yep. My kid would have screamed bloody murder if we put her to nap on grandma's bed. But great for you all that have easy kids!


Then take the kid on a nap drive or lay down in bed or some other quiet area of the house and watch a video/dvd that your kid likes. Even after they give up naps, they still benefit from quiet time. I would not leave my child alone in a room to cry while I went and ate pie. Good grief, you don't do that to a little kid. I simply would enjoy the quiet time instead of the pie. No biggie.

Anonymous
Post 12/27/2015 19:31     Subject: MIL just screamed at me
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:You put the toddler to nap on grandma's bed and sit and have the dessert.

No way did I let my toddler hold me hostage on holidays. And it's only lunchtime -- did you see these people yesterday or on Christmas eve? If not, you bugging out around noon is rude. It's your child's family.


+1


Not every toddler will just conk out on any available bed.

I would be very clear that you are leaving at x time due to naps well in advance.

The bigger issue is that she screamed at you and DH said nothing. I would have packed up the kids and walked out right then--and DH had darned well better come too.


Yep. My kid would have screamed bloody murder if we put her to nap on grandma's bed. But great for you all that have easy kids!