they have helped along the way - a few hundred here and there just because, help with plane tickets to visit family, that kind of thing. My aunt and mom bought the small condo I lived in for a while and I paid rent to them (covered the mortgage plus a little) and they covered the condo fee and any maintenance costs.

We try our best to live within our means and to be responsible for our own expenses/debt. We know our families would help us in case of emergency and like to help when they know things are a bit of a stretch.

This is going to sound awful, but my grandma passed this year right around the time my husband found out his dad has cancer. My parents have been very generous in paying for his and our plane tickets to visit since it has been more than usual and comes at a time when money is REALLY tight for us. They probably wouldn't be able to be so generous without the inheritance money, though.

My IL's have helped my BIL too much, though, and he has sucked them dry.

I don't think it is awful to accept help from family every once in a while, but to basically live off your family's generosity is the other end of the spectrum.

My parents helped pay for our wedding--about $20K.
My inlaws gave us $100K when we bought our house to add to the nearly $400K that we saved by living ridiculously frugally over 5 years. They have also offered to pay for private school for our kids but we're quite happy using public (late elementary now).

Anonymous wrote:Those of you who have trust funds -- what messages did your parents give you growing up about working and becoming independent and how do you impart that to your kids?

I didn't even know I had one til I was an adult. My parents lived comfortably, but not over-the-top by any stretch of the imagination. They died young, and I came into millions upon millions. I had no idea how wealthy they were until they were gone. They did help us out financially, mostly with housing and educational funding, but it wasn't like we were traveling all over Europe or shopping at Bergdorf's.

The trust money is now in my name and my husband and I both work. I plan to raise my children the same way.

Yes, they've helped over the years. They gave me about $10K for a downpayment on my condo when I was single. A little money here and there over the years. When I got married my husband and I wanted to pay for our own wedding so my parents gave us the $30K they'd saved for that purpose as a gift. Now that we're dealing with infertility and have handed over half our savings to the clinic, my parents have offered to help out if we pursue further treatment. They are not rich but comfortable, my dad still works, and they are generous to a fault.