Anonymous wrote:The most fascinating part of the OP's thoroughly opaque question is this:

"My family had piecemealed all of this together in something of an embarrasing way, I now realize"

Did her family used to sneak into the golf course/stables/marina at night and golf/ride/sail using other peoples' clubs/horses/boats? That would really be something.

Maybe they had a fox hunt that wasn't up to snuff compared to her in laws' standards, or one the one polo pony, that might not have been totally properly trained, etc.

The most fascinating part of the OP's thoroughly opaque question is this:

"My family had piecemealed all of this together in something of an embarrasing way, I now realize"

Did her family used to sneak into the golf course/stables/marina at night and golf/ride/sail using other peoples' clubs/horses/boats? That would really be something.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think skiing is the sport.

+1 it's the best fit.

I don't. She mentioned way back that it was more akin to croquet. Skiing is way too accessible, you don't have to be a member of anything to buy a ski lift pass.

Anonymous wrote:I think skiing is the sport.

+1 it's the best fit.

OP, in case you come back.
I'd ask myself,
1) how dangerous is it really?
2) does learning the activity enrich my children's lives in any way?
3) does exposure to this activity and the culture of the IL's surrounding it really threaten to damage the psychic well-being of my kids? i.e., turn them into snobs?

If the grandparents are willing to take the time to teach the kids something that they may enjoy and which may enrich their lives, I'd be inclined to allow it. Even if I were excluded. It would hurt my feelings but I'd let it go for the sake of the kids. I'm divorced so I have a lot of practice with focusing on what is in their best interest regardless of how it makes me feel.

The only thing that would stop me from allowing it is if I truly had misgivings about the danger to my kids, physical or otherwise (snobbishness). Good luck.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fox hunting.

Most people learn how to fox hunt in their 20s. A few in their early 40s but not many.

But arent there roles for younger adults prepping the dogs or something? I have definitely seen kids in their little getups, on their ponies, at the beginning and end. Obvi not on the hunt itself.

I had no idea fox hunting was a thing. I thought it only happened in the days of Downton Abby, and am blown away at the idea that it still goes on. Am I the only one?

Anonymous wrote:I'd let my kids enjoy spending time with their grandparents doing this specific sport/hobby. Go to the spa or doing something else fun while your kids are out.

eww, I wouldn't. It doesnt' sound like an hour or two activity, more like a day long thing. I think OP should just mess with them as much as possible. They sound like loser A-holes.

Underwater piano playing? Knitting with gold needles? Competitive eating?

I'd let my kids enjoy spending time with their grandparents doing this specific sport/hobby. Go to the spa or doing something else fun while your kids are out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fox hunting.

Most people learn how to fox hunt in their 20s. A few in their early 40s but not many.

But arent there roles for younger adults prepping the dogs or something? I have definitely seen kids in their little getups, on their ponies, at the beginning and end. Obvi not on the hunt itself.

I went out hunting for the first time at 6. I was at the back of the field for a few years, but I was definitely hunting!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Fox hunting.

Most people learn how to fox hunt in their 20s. A few in their early 40s but not many.

But arent there roles for younger adults prepping the dogs or something? I have definitely seen kids in their little getups, on their ponies, at the beginning and end. Obvi not on the hunt itself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Falconry.

Love you! This has got to be it!

7 pages of speculation and OP still won't throw us a bone. I am in the polo/fox hunting camp, though, I don't really understand how OP could have grown up doing it in a low key, non-snobby way vs. her in laws snobby, insufferable way.

I'm the PP who said I didn't know anyone who took a second job to afford sailing. I knew "normal" (normal-ish?) people who were members of a hunt, and I once had an interminable dinner with a guy who described himself as a "poor man's player" of polo. He only owned one of his ponies, rented the other (others? maybe more than one I SO DID NOT CARE), and was generally one of the poor relations in his extended polo-playing family.

The people I know who sail adjust the size of their boats to their available income.

Polo

Anonymous wrote:I think skiing is the sport.

Heli-skiing?

I think skiing is the sport.