If the woman you are getting engaged to is overly focused on the size and cost of this ring, you should run now and save yourself 20 years of trying to keep up with the Jone's.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know mostly SAHMs of little kids and they just wear the bands. I wear neither because my joints expanded when I was pregnant and now they don't fit.

The engagement ring can be pretty impractical if you spend your day changing diapers, getting dirty at the playground, cleaning bathrooms, etc. You all might live more glamorous lives!

I'm a SAHM to little kids who also only wears a band because my e ring would scratch my babies. However, I continue only wearing my band because it helps me to be less of a target for crime. I drive a very expensive vehicle, I don't need to drape myself in diamonds on top of that.

I'm the opposite. I drive a pretty middle of the road car (5 year old VW Tiguan) but I love me some sparkly gems.

To each their own! Life is too short to hate on other people's likes. I bet driving your car is a ton of fun!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can totally understanding wanting to give and receive an engagement ring . . . I love all things sparkly! This is one of the first big financial decisions you'll be making as a couple. I'd sound her out and figure out what she considers her ideal engagement ring and how much you are both comfortable spending.

Which is to say, that you are throwing away money on a piece of jewelry. I wouldn't marry anyone who wanted to participate in this tradition, on either the receiving or giving end.

Right, and you wouldn't be on the cusp of marrying someone like OP's future fiancee with her diamond loving friend group either, so thank you for your obvious statement.

Anonymous wrote:You'd be a fool to spend a lot and not have her input. Why not get a simple gold band to do the proposing, and the two of you go ring shopping afterwards.

I highly, highly recommend this, for symbolic reasons as well as practical ones. DH and I worked together to custom-design an engagement ring that we both loved, and I’ve never stopped loving it in our many years of marriage. Much of the appeal is the fact that we worked together to imagine something beautiful into being. (To answer your $ question, it was under $10K — he wanted something as close as possible to flawless, also for symbolic reasons, but I find large stones impractical and also we saved by designing it ourselves without the markup of a fancy jewelry store.)

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good grief, what a waste of money. My ring was like $3k twenty years ago. I haven't even bothered to wear it in years. Even that $3k seems foolish now.

+1! Almost exactly the same price, and I love the ring, but it came off when I was breastfeeding because it could scratch the baby and now I only wear it on special occasions. Sure it's a sign that "You're very much in LOVE," but that kind of love shouldn't cost as much as a down payment on a house!

If she really loves you, she'll be happy with a reasonably priced ring that shows that you have a future together in mind.

To some people. To me, I always think "the bigger the ring, the smaller the "

Lol. That's always what I think with cars.

Big f-150....we know what's up.

BMW i8? Micro-peen

It depends on the person.

I know my wife (we just celebrated our 20th anniversary) and putting a lot of money into something like a ring, would have been anathema for her. She wears very little jewelry to begin with and she prefers money for stability (like housing), experiences (like travel/vacation) and for security (like retirement, savings, college). When we got engaged, we went on a cruise together. I went to the jewelry store and bought a $500 engagement ring that could be traded in for a more expensive ring. I gave her the ring on the trip for the proposal. We came home and went shopping together and she found the ring she wanted which only turned out to be about $800, a smallish princess cut diamond engagement ring. She looked at the larger rings and admired them, but said she could not imagine wearing rings that large on a daily basis. My mother has given my wife some of her large and expensive jewelry (since my mother doesn't wear them much anymore, she has been giving pieces to my sister, my sister-in-law, my wife and my nieces) and my wife admires the expensive jewelry and will wear them for big events, but otherwise, we keep them locked up and she doesn't wear them.

So, you need to know your partner a bit to determine what works best for you. Now, 20 years in, we are much happier having spent that money on other things when we were younger and had less to go around.

Anonymous wrote:I know mostly SAHMs of little kids and they just wear the bands. I wear neither because my joints expanded when I was pregnant and now they don't fit.

The engagement ring can be pretty impractical if you spend your day changing diapers, getting dirty at the playground, cleaning bathrooms, etc. You all might live more glamorous lives!

I'm a SAHM to little kids who also only wears a band because my e ring would scratch my babies. However, I continue only wearing my band because it helps me to be less of a target for crime. I drive a very expensive vehicle, I don't need to drape myself in diamonds on top of that.

Anonymous wrote:My diamond was about $13k, eternity band (wedding ring) probably equal). We married at 30, both owned homes, both had good jobs and had paid off student loans etc.

I bought him a beautiful omega watch as a wedding gift.

We wear all of the pieces all the time- don't regret any of it as it didn't incur debt and 10 years into this gig we know we are in it for life.

You do you.

because no one ever gets divorced after 10 whole years of marriage.

The thing that baffles me (especially because American women dress in their pajamas 75% of the time) is that a big solitaire diamond just doesn't match everyday clothing. Even everyday work clothing. If it weren't your engagement ring, you might wear it for a formal occasion, but that's it. It looks so weird to me when I see women in jeans or yoga tights with a giant ring on.

I got married 3 years ago. I have a 3 carat high quality diamond that was about $50k. I love it and it’s the only piece of jewelry I’ll ever need. Is it ridiculous? Yes, but DH was so proud of the ring he designed (plus could afford it without going into debt).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Good grief, what a waste of money. My ring was like $3k twenty years ago. I haven't even bothered to wear it in years. Even that $3k seems foolish now.

+1! Almost exactly the same price, and I love the ring, but it came off when I was breastfeeding because it could scratch the baby and now I only wear it on special occasions. Sure it's a sign that "You're very much in LOVE," but that kind of love shouldn't cost as much as a down payment on a house!

If she really loves you, she'll be happy with a reasonably priced ring that shows that you have a future together in mind.

To some people. To me, I always think "the bigger the ring, the smaller the "

Anonymous wrote:I can totally understanding wanting to give and receive an engagement ring . . . I love all things sparkly! This is one of the first big financial decisions you'll be making as a couple. I'd sound her out and figure out what she considers her ideal engagement ring and how much you are both comfortable spending.

Which is to say, that you are throwing away money on a piece of jewelry. I wouldn't marry anyone who wanted to participate in this tradition, on either the receiving or giving end.

I still can't wrap my head around those numbers.

I was 26 years old when I proposed to my wife in 2005, and I spent 8k.

And at the time, that required a lot of savings. We've been married for 16 years now.

Find a nice ring. But don't blow a downpayment on a house on it

P.S. For a fancy shape, check out Distinctive Gem.

I can totally understanding wanting to give and receive an engagement ring . . . I love all things sparkly! This is one of the first big financial decisions you'll be making as a couple. I'd sound her out and figure out what she considers her ideal engagement ring and how much you are both comfortable spending.