Anonymous wrote:Honestly I see no way this was not a sarcastic comment, OP. The fact that you are about to end the friendship over it - potentially without even giving her the chance to explain- AND that so many people agree with you here terrified me. We cannot joke with our friends?

That fact also shows that the OP was looking to blame the bride all along, so she wouldn't have to feel bad for missing the wedding. She picked a fight and will now blame the bride for ending the relationship.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:are you sure she was not joking????

She's not the joking type. Like, to a fault.

Then why would you send a "joke" in the email of you knew she is not the joking type? She probably took what you said to heart.

She's right - awkward.

Because she knows I am the joking type?

Yes, and now she was grown weary of your "joking" and your passive aggressive same sex marriage comments is wrong, and how you are a wonderful Christian and you respect everyone but can't accept gay people being married personally, blah, blah, blah.

You can't love and respect her as a person and then be horrified by her lifestyle choices and continue to make joking and rude remarks. Which you do but you will feel and say that of course you don't and you are always talking in general or about those "other" type of gay people.


Her email was basically saying she is moving on and can no longer have people in her life like you who can not love and accept her and her spouse and that's her choice.

Love your friend for who she is not who you want her to be. And if you can't, then grieve the friendship and move on.

OP you are total jerk for emailing her thanks for getting married on day when I cannot come. What did you expect her to say back? Anyway that would write that, unfunny and rude, deserves whatever response back.

Honestly I see no way this was not a sarcastic comment, OP. The fact that you are about to end the friendship over it - potentially without even giving her the chance to explain- AND that so many people agree with you here terrified me. We cannot joke with our friends?

Anonymous wrote:One of my old friends is getting married in a few weeks. We never got a save the date card, but the invitation arrived just a few weeks ago. Unfortunately, it's on a Friday night when I'm returning to DC from a business trip, and the wedding is in Miami. I am unable to change the trip AND I had mentioned it to her last time I'd seen her because it's a big deal and I'm pretty stressed about it. I send the RSVP card back declining, then sent her an email jokingly asking her why she had to get married on a day I can't attend. She replied back "It was on purpose. Well, I guess this is awkward."



I didn't even reply because I really don't even understand what's going on here. I feel so snubbed. Who schedules a wedding for a day when you know a friend can't attend? I totally understand not being able to schedule it so everyone can attend, but that's not what happened here. Do I write her off as a friend?

You made a false assumption that she is a friend.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe that everyone misses the point the FRIEND said she planned the wedding so OP couldn't attend.

No, no one missed this. It's that the sane people realize that the friend was either being (a) sarcastic and joking, or (b) sarcastic and angry. The OP is totally tone-deaf and totally self-absorbed.

Say it again, only louder. Too many on this thread aren't getting it. Least of all, OP!

Stop all the emailing. If she is a good friend, pick up the phone and call her.

OP is perfectly sane. I shouldn't be but am shocked at the lack of reading comprehension going on here. Especially about how the Christian OP already attended the woman's first gay wedding, about how the OP has a normal, joking sense of humor but the friend does not, and so much more.

OP, I want to believe she was joking, and tend to think she was, because it's just too over the top rude otherwise. If you value the friendship and want to understand what's happening here, reach out to her again.

Anonymous wrote:This is such insanity. And it's even more insane to me that some of you agree with OP. There is zero chance that the friend scheduled her wedding to make sure OP couldn't come. PEOPLE DO NOT DO THIS. They especially don't then invite the subject of their ire, then tell them. As another pp mentioned, there is something so wrong with op thinking that the world--another persons WEDDING--revolved around her somehow. That's borderline pathological.

The friend was being sarcastic. Lord.

Agree. Sarcastic is not the same as joking. How else was she supposed to respond to your self-centered "why'd you have to pick a day when I can't come" "joke" of an email?
Sounds like a classic case of OP can dish it out, but can't take it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - feel like we're missing a lot of info here. Basically NONE of this makes sense. If she sent invites out a week after you told her about your business trip, the date was set long before that - or did she book a place, print and address invites all in that week? Some huge detail is missing here.

This. I'm pretty impressed however if she was able to do this all in a week. Took us more than 5 days to get our invitations printed! I can't tell if this is a troll, op Is leaving something out, or she's just dumb but it's basically impossible for someone to book a venue and send out invitations all in the span of a week

OP is a crazy paranoiac.

Except OP didn't think friend did this until friend SAID she did.

People, OP isn't freaking bc of when the wedding is scheduled; OP is freaking because of the email she got from her friend.

Right but OP actually believes that the email is true. I think it's not. I think it was her friend's reaction to OP's obnoxious email.

This. Op--you say your friend is not the "joking" type and "to a fault" but you sent her a joking email. Did you say in the email "just kidding" or add a winky face or anything that would indicate to this "to-a-fault non-joking friend" that this (kinda rude) comment was your attempt at sarcastically, comedically "blame" her for scheduling your wedding on a day she couldn't make it? Seriously. That's obnoxious. And there is literally no other way for your friend to respond except to say "well I did that on purpose" (If you read that with an eye-roll that she probably wrote it with...it is less of a "joke" and more of a "geez you are tiring trying to make this all about you when clearly you just can't come and that was just about the last thing on my mind when scheduling my big day" So she was not "joking" but more using biting sarcasm to point out that it would be absurd for this to have been done on purpose.

And the follow up "Well, this is awkward." is a flat deadpan joke. Not the kind of joke that jokey jokesters tell to get a laugh...but a way to point out to you that the previous line of doing this on purpose (which is what you implied that she did with your first email) is absurd and of course, not true.

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe that everyone misses the point the FRIEND said she planned the wedding so OP couldn't attend.

No, no one missed this. It's that the sane people realize that the friend was either being (a) sarcastic and joking, or (b) sarcastic and angry. The OP is totally tone-deaf and totally self-absorbed.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, you're a shitty, self-absorbed person, and hopefully your friend realized this and is eliminating you from her life.

What are you talking about? She's the one who said she scheduled her wedding so I could not attend.

After you accused her (jokingly or not) of not putting your plans before her own! You are not the center of her universe.

I can't believe that everyone misses the point the FRIEND said she planned the wedding so OP couldn't attend.

Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe that OP is for real. Who is that self-centered?

Umm her friend sounds equally just as bad.

I cannot believe that OP is for real. Who is that self-centered?