I can think of one instance. My BFF as an adulthood has a BFF from her childhood who married into gobs of money. Like, they rent a chartered yacht in the mediterranean for the summer and if people want to visit them they can fly them out to the yacht in a helicopter. That is next level rich to me. He gives his kids 12 million a year.
At any rate, I was diagnosed with a slow growing cancer that will limit my life and now I'm thinking, I wish I could enjoy that lifestyle until the end. So yes, I guess jealous.

No. I am not jealous of friends who married rich men. I am very happy for them, especially if they married good men and their family dotes on them. Plus, I get to be the Gayle to their Oprah. I am happy for them and very relieved that I don't need to worry about them or save them. I can live a peaceful life and join in their celebrations of baby showers, birthdays, anniversaries, housewarmings, graduations, marriage of their kids, loving on their grandchildren etc. I can be at peace that they are content - and I want to leave this Earth with this kind of peace and contentment.

I am however very disturbed when my friends date toxic men who treat them badly, those who have horrible husbands, those who cannot snap out of poverty mindset because that is their conditioning. It kills me and I worry constantly about them.

I want the best of the best in everything for my family, my siblings and parents, my ILs, my friends and my neighbors. I want them to be far richer than I am, because I am very comfortable in my own UMC life. I am the relatively poor friend amongst all my friends and that is the way I want it to be.

Anonymous wrote:On the surface, I am jealous. Great vacations, part-time or no work of their choosing, no budget on clothes/hair/nails/spa/etc.

When I think about it a little more, there are some deeper things I'm not jealous of. In the particular situations I'm thinking of, there's a lot of insecurity - insecure about what would happen if he left (since she hasn't been working full time), insecure about if she is maintaining her looks enough to hold up her "end of the bargain," insecure about how they measure up compared to others in their neighborhood, etc. Certainly not every rich family is that way, but specifically in the situations I know where women "married up" and are to some degree, kept women - there is a lot of that. And I don't envy that.

You are shallow and vile. Married women are kept women if they SAH?

Well, you did not get that good a deal either then, stupid! You must be unattractive if you need to earn a living and contribute 50% of money to be allowed to be in the marriage and live in the same house. Oh, did not earn your daily bread? Well, now both of you are living under the bridge.

Married SAH women are insecure? Well, sure. They look at you and they don't envy you either. You are the future that they don't want. They may be insecure but you are actually living what they are insecure about. But, don't worry. If an idiot like you can earn money, so can they if they need to. And they will still come out wealthier than you, and any of your kids if they are so unlucky to be born to you.

Ehhh comparison is the thief of joy. My friends with very high earning husbands have a lot of perks that come with money, but also a lot of headaches like their spouse traveling a lot for work/working late hours, which raises other hosts of issues.

My DH and I make 350k combined. We have all of our needs and many of our wants met, but also have enough freedom and flexibility in our schedule to take off in the middle of the day to chaperone a field trip or to coach a 5 pm practice or to take advantage of a school break and travel.

Also because I work, DH and I split a lot of the kid/household load. If he didn’t do his fair share I may be resentful, but thankfully he is a good partner, so I wouldn’t want to swap him for a higher earner.

Of course more money would always be nice, but there are so many other things that matter more to me in a spouse.

JFC this thread is 11 years old!

1000% No. My spouse and I are self-made wealthy from investing but you would never know it. We have a nice house but nothing crazy. We go on nice vacations but our neighbors and friends don't really know it except for some FB posts. My kids go to public universities. We live great lives and our careers are easy and low stress.

Anonymous wrote:I'll be honest since we're anonymous. I would love to have the option to SAH at least while our kids are young. Our household requires both of our incomes unless we radically changed our standard of living, moved to a cheaper home, etc. Therefore, I am envious of those whose circumstances allow them the freedom to pursue the life they want.

Certainly don't blame my husband. He's fabulous and I love him to death. He works very hard and is good at what he does, I just wish he got paid a lot more for it!

LOL...you think you're anonymous on this board. Think again.

Anonymous wrote:People who marry for money pay their own kind of taxes.

You can marry a starving artist or a billionaire or anywhere on the continuum in between. At what point richer than the starving artist does the accusation that you married for money become credible?

Anonymous wrote:Nope. But I am jealous of women who have 3 or 4 kids.

Me too. If my husband got promoted I’d get pregnant that night. But as we are we’re just treading water and if I went all in on my career I wouldn’t be the mom I want to be.

Serial poster strikes again. She’s getting more clever with hiding who she is. But anytime you see the word “jealous” or “finding love and tax” you can bet it’s her.

No. We are comfortable and enjoy a pretty great life. I have two friends whose husbands make a lot of money, and I wouldn't want either of their lives. They work all the time. Both my friends are the primary parent with little help from their husbands. They never fully check out of work (something my friends complain about frequently) whether it's on vacation, or even just a weekend when they are supposed to be present and not dealing with work. No amount of money is worth that to me.

Now if I had friends with generational wealth and who didn't have to work hard and yet were still wealthy...yeah I could see myself being jealous of that.

Nope. But I am jealous of women who have 3 or 4 kids.

Anonymous wrote:Occasionally I am, but deep down inside I'm terrified of the power imbalance that would result from my husband earning a lot more than I do. We both work full time but I earn more.

Of course if DH ever started earning a lot more I'd be thrilled, but I realize that my temperament is not suited to me ever staying at home and relying on his income entirely.

When I was dating I had the strong sense that money comes and goes but it's an individual's character that counts. I know it sounds like a humble brag and flame me if you want, but I think back to this intuition whenever I'm feeling jealous of women who married rich men.

That said, I get INTENSE FB envy when I see friends going on fabulous vacations. But I wouldn't change my decision to marry my wonderful, but not high-earning, DH in a million years.

I left my XH and he makes way more than my boyfriend. Yes I miss the comfort of never worrying about money. But I was lonely and always feeling bad about myself while married, because he was always belittling me, and none of what I cared about (community, kids’ happiness, my own interests and career) ever mattered to him.

No,
Their lives are miserable in their own way. And husbands not that rich.
I do feel slight pangs when they travel or choose extra curriculars for their kids, but they are so dependent on their husbands whims it is pathetic.

People who marry for money pay their own kind of taxes.