Anonymous
Post 02/06/2015 22:09     Subject: Re:Shlumpy guy. Should I give hima chance?
Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP. just wanted to report that I've now been out with said guy for third time, and it's been great! I'm so glad I did the second date, he's a GREAT guy.

Loved the comments and debate on the thread. Have a great weekend all!



I'm so glad for you, OP!

- from all of us who married our shlumpy guys.
Anonymous
Post 02/06/2015 22:06     Subject: Re:Shlumpy guy. Should I give hima chance?
I'm the OP. just wanted to report that I've now been out with said guy for third time, and it's been great! I'm so glad I did the second date, he's a GREAT guy.

Loved the comments and debate on the thread. Have a great weekend all!
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2015 07:56     Subject: Shlumpy guy. Should I give hima chance?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would. Those guys are good guys.


Agree. Some men just need some touch up here and there. But personalities cannot be changed.


+1


+2

I don't think anyone should take on a person as a fixer-upper project. Think of it like buying a house. If you think he needs to be 'gutted' or 'stripped to the studs and then rebuilt' give him a pass. He deserves someone who likes him (mostly) as he is. But you're never going to find your dream house (man) 100% as you imagined him - if all this guy needs is "new paint" as it sounds to me, then it's a worth more dates. You're not trying to change HIM, just some aesthetic stuff about how he presents himself.


The way he presents himself IS a part of his identity. And, as I said earlier, it's not her body, she doesn't get a vote. She can either love him for what he is, or she can move on.


I'm the PP you're quoting, and I don't think we actually disagree with each other all that much. How he presents himself MAY be part of his identity, or he may just never have thought about it/known what to do/what would make him look his best, like a lot of men I know.

I think all relationships of any length introduce us to new things. I have no idea if I like Korean food, or wake-boarding because I've never tried either one. But if my partner loved either one, chances are I'd give them a chance too. This guy may not have strong feelings about his current look, and it may be what it is more out of default than it is a deliberate choice. If that's the case, there's nothing wrong with her showing him some new glasses, clothes, etc. He might like them, too.


PP you're quoting. I think that there's a huge difference between suggesting that a partner try a new activity or a new cuisine (which aren't a part of a person's identity, if you leave out basic values such as being vegetarian/Vegan, keeping Kosher and the like), and trying to make changes in how a person presents him or herself (which is a part of his/her identity). That's a big line in the sand to me.

Let's be honest: if a man started a similar thread about how he should give his potential girlfriend a makeover, we'd be going for his jugular. Don't you think that's what would happen? OP doesn't get a free pass on this because she's a woman talking about changing her potential partner's looks. IMO.
Anonymous
Post 02/01/2015 04:17     Subject: Shlumpy guy. Should I give hima chance?
Anonymous wrote:I want the shlumpy guy. If you pass, send him my way. I'll take shlumpy, smart and nice any day. I even think its kind of cute and attractive. Guys aren't supposed to be pretty.


+1,000. My shlumpy man is the love of my life. Messy long hair, beard, tee shirt n jeans. But he has impeccable hygiene, he's kind, funny and creative, and loves me in a sweet, non controlling, and completely devoted way.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2015 21:55     Subject: Shlumpy guy. Should I give hima chance?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would. Those guys are good guys.


Agree. Some men just need some touch up here and there. But personalities cannot be changed.


+1 Quite a few of my very happily married friends (25+ years) married similar types of guys--maybe not exciting but kind, helpful, and dependable.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2015 21:48     Subject: Shlumpy guy. Should I give hima chance?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

Men age like fine wine. Women age like milk. It's a fact.

It's not a fact. It's wishful thinking made up by men who resent the fact that young women have a ton of sexual value and young men have nearly none


Tough shit. Men are achieving their financial primes in their late 40s early 50s while women are 25 years downhill from their sexually attractive primes.

Sucks for you, someone with little value in anything other than her beauty.


You sound really bitter about the ghost of pussy past. I'm really sorry the girls you wanted to screw wouldn't give you the time of day. Doesn't mean your fantasies hordes of miserable cat women is reality. They probably still wouldn't give you the time of day now, either.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2015 19:57     Subject: Shlumpy guy. Should I give hima chance?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

Men age like fine wine. Women age like milk. It's a fact.

It's not a fact. It's wishful thinking made up by men who resent the fact that young women have a ton of sexual value and young men have nearly none


Tough shit. Men are achieving their financial primes in their late 40s early 50s while women are 25 years downhill from their sexually attractive primes.

Sucks for you, someone with little value in anything other than her beauty.


Doesnt suck for me. Women are on track to outran men soon. We are graduating college at MUCH higher rates. (My generation)

Soon we will have beauty AND money!! Muahahaha.

I guess we should prepare ourselves for some male gold digger types!


Men will have the last laugh when guys with high school diplomas get to pick and choose from a surplus of women with masters degrees.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2015 19:55     Subject: Shlumpy guy. Should I give hima chance?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
And still, women can have sex whenever they want. Can get a relationship easily. Men have to do the work. Proof that pussy has the higher value.


Men age like fine wine. Women age like milk. It's a fact.

It's not a fact. It's wishful thinking made up by men who resent the fact that young women have a ton of sexual value and young men have nearly none


The OP is not a young woman and her date is not a young man.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2015 19:55     Subject: Shlumpy guy. Should I give hima chance?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
nope. Men are always more jealous than women. Regardless of age. Just how the world works- pussy is a premium.


You do realize there are more single women than men in DC, right? Broads in DC are like buses: If you miss one, there's another coming in 10 minutes.


And still, women can have sex whenever they want. Can get a relationship easily. Men have to do the work. Proof that pussy has the higher value.


Young, attractive women can.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2015 19:50     Subject: Shlumpy guy. Should I give hima chance?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:But it's not the case for us cuties!


Pics or STFU.


Pathetic attempt at getting pics!


...says another DCUM "cutie."

Let me guess, you look young for your age, right?
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2015 19:49     Subject: Shlumpy guy. Should I give hima chance?
Sounds better than some asshole who only cares about how he looks.

Anonymous
Post 01/31/2015 19:19     Subject: Shlumpy guy. Should I give hima chance?
Anonymous wrote:
Doesnt suck for me. Women are on track to outran men soon.


What?

We are graduating college at MUCH higher rates. (My generation)

Soon we will have beauty AND money!! Muahahaha.


Not that you're good with either.



Anonymous
Post 01/31/2015 19:12     Subject: Shlumpy guy. Should I give hima chance?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I would. Those guys are good guys.


Agree. Some men just need some touch up here and there. But personalities cannot be changed.


+1


+2

I don't think anyone should take on a person as a fixer-upper project. Think of it like buying a house. If you think he needs to be 'gutted' or 'stripped to the studs and then rebuilt' give him a pass. He deserves someone who likes him (mostly) as he is. But you're never going to find your dream house (man) 100% as you imagined him - if all this guy needs is "new paint" as it sounds to me, then it's a worth more dates. You're not trying to change HIM, just some aesthetic stuff about how he presents himself.


The way he presents himself IS a part of his identity. And, as I said earlier, it's not her body, she doesn't get a vote. She can either love him for what he is, or she can move on.


I'm the PP you're quoting, and I don't think we actually disagree with each other all that much. How he presents himself MAY be part of his identity, or he may just never have thought about it/known what to do/what would make him look his best, like a lot of men I know.

I think all relationships of any length introduce us to new things. I have no idea if I like Korean food, or wake-boarding because I've never tried either one. But if my partner loved either one, chances are I'd give them a chance too. This guy may not have strong feelings about his current look, and it may be what it is more out of default than it is a deliberate choice. If that's the case, there's nothing wrong with her showing him some new glasses, clothes, etc. He might like them, too.
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2015 19:09     Subject: Shlumpy guy. Should I give hima chance?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:

Men age like fine wine. Women age like milk. It's a fact.

It's not a fact. It's wishful thinking made up by men who resent the fact that young women have a ton of sexual value and young men have nearly none


Tough shit. Men are achieving their financial primes in their late 40s early 50s while women are 25 years downhill from their sexually attractive primes.

Sucks for you, someone with little value in anything other than her beauty.


Doesnt suck for me. Women are on track to outran men soon. We are graduating college at MUCH higher rates. (My generation)

Soon we will have beauty AND money!! Muahahaha.

I guess we should prepare ourselves for some male gold digger types!
Anonymous
Post 01/31/2015 19:07     Subject: Shlumpy guy. Should I give hima chance?
Anonymous wrote:young women have a ton of sexual value


It's about all they have. They certainly don't have brains.

As they say: Youth is wasted on the young.