Thank you so much for those who came with helpful advice. I truly appreciate your honesty.
We will have a conversation with her as soon as I'm up from bed. I had a very rough day today and don't even want to think about it anymore.

OP, the problem is that no one knows what you are thinking or what you want unless you tell them. You can't expect anyone to guess what you want or need, and, particularly if your husband was carrying you up the stairs, anyone else would probably feel that she ought not to hang around.

Anonymous wrote:She is young. She doesn't know what it's like for someone to go through surgery. Your arrangement is odd, btw.

She is 34 frickin years old, the same age as OP. 34 yo distant relative living for free with a family of 4. Yuck, yuck, yuck.
How on earth did you start paying her to do household stuff and pitch in. You are paying her to live in your house!? Yuck.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just saw your post on the nanny board, OP. You clearly feel well enough to whine on multiple forums today. Try reading a book to your children and stop whining to anyone in cyber-space who will listen.

They're too young to sit still quietly while I read but thanks for the sweet suggestion of how I should spen my healing time with my children.

Everyone is laughing at you, OP - you do realize that, don't you? You are ridiculously entitled and do not want our opinions if the differ from yours. You have no question here - just an ax to grind.

Go take care of your own children. I feel more sorry for this poor woman who has to live with you to finish college with every response you spew.

Looks like the crazy dcum nannies reports this thread on the Nanny Forum around page 5 and then just kept repeat posting their attacks.

OP, I'm sorry you have a leech as an extended houseguest. I think you'd feel better if you charged her for groceries and at least half of market rent for a room in this area. Since you can barely pay her ridiculously high babysitting or cleaning rates, this houseguest is likely a real strain on your budget and family and perhaps even health. Please have a long conversation with your hush
Band about his distant cousin 4 year extended houseguest.

You know, I had a difficult hysterectomy because of an endometrial cancer, and I don't recall needing to be carried anywhere, or needing much in the way of help. OP, are you being a bit of a princess?

What kind of surgery is it? Is it a broken toe, or is it open heart surgery? There is a huge difference. Maybe she didn't know you are a prima donna.

OP: I had that surgery. It took a VERY long time to heal. Having someone living in my home, paying no rent, asking to be paid for babysitting, getting lots of extras... family or not, I would say this arrangement is not working. There is no need to complain, just show her to the door.

It sounds like a big misunderstanding. You mentioned the surgery a few months in advance, so she probably thought either it was something minor, or very personal and you didn't want her around. Surgery is so broad, I had dental surgery to remove wisdom teeth and was at happy hour the next day. It's the weekend before Christmas so she probably made plans to see friends before the holiday and had no idea you were expecting her to babysit. You also haven't really said what kind of help you needed. How hard would it have been to say 'hey, x, I'm having surgery the weekend before Christmas, would you be able to stick around and help with the kids?' If you had asked in advance, she probably would have stayed and helped. But you can't just mention surgery casually, and then expect her to change her travel plans on a moments notice when you didn't even ask her to stay. She isn't a mind reader!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She doesn't know what kind of surgery it was. She was home when I arrived, greeted me and saw DH carrying me upstairs. That's the last time I saw her. She then txted me to say she was going out of town.

was there a reason he needed to carry you up the stairs? I have known woman who have had same surgery who did not require being carried! Weird

OP is one ugly Princess.

Anonymous wrote:She doesn't know what kind of surgery it was. She was home when I arrived, greeted me and saw DH carrying me upstairs. That's the last time I saw her. She then txted me to say she was going out of town.

was there a reason he needed to carry you up the stairs? I have known woman who have had same surgery who did not require being carried! Weird

first 11:25 here. I think the arrangement is odd because she is distantly related, living for free in your home. I think it would be fine if it's short term, like a few weeks or a month, but long term would be awkward.

It sounds like you prepped well for when you have surgery like cooking and freezing food, paying her to clean the house, etc. But you didn't ask her to help you. So it's kind of understandable why she left after you came back from the hospital. She probably assumed you wanted your privacy.

She is young. She doesn't know what it's like for someone to go through surgery. Your arrangement is odd, btw.

Maybe she thought you would prefer some privacy to recover, so she left. If you didn't ask for help, I can see why she has no idea what to do. Some people like to be left alone when they aren't feeling 100% and perhaps she thought your husband could handle the kids.

"you have 30 days to find another place to live" Someone who does not help when their host family has major surgery (of any kind) is being entitled and spoiled. OP I am very sorry. Also as usual, DCUM are being mean, probably b/c no one is paying their rent for them.