Anonymous
Post 10/22/2014 22:12     Subject: is DH unreasonable?
Your DH is a douche. It was not trouble for him and he should have taken the PJs.
Anonymous
Post 10/22/2014 20:35     Subject: Re:is DH unreasonable?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:As an aside I'd like to share with you all that I HATE THE SPECIAL DRESS-UP DAYS. It's a nightmare to remember, try to find the right clothes, etc.


Do you remember the important meetings you have?

I don't put pajama day in the same category of bringing home the mortgage money. Do you?


Do I put parenting my children and remembering things that they value in the same category as money? Is that what you're asking? Yes. Yes I do. I'm a single working mom of two and I find it just as easy to put kids items on my calendar. Sad that you don't.


Cannot. Stop. Laughing. My kiddo really values legos. In fact, I like them too. Making sure roof stays over head is vastly more important. Even qualifies as "parenting", in my book.


You need to do both
Anonymous
Post 10/22/2014 20:34     Subject: is DH unreasonable?
So the kid cries. I hardly think he would have cried for 7 straight hours. So he looks at other kids in their PJs all day and feels a bit sad. So what?! Life goes on for him and you.
Anonymous
Post 10/22/2014 20:30     Subject: Re:is DH unreasonable?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Honestly OP, you gave in to a tantrum. Next time your kid will tantrum longer and harder. As a teacher I would have been super pissed if you showed up in my classroom and rewarded a tantrum like that. If you tried to tell me it was because he was sick then I would have asked you to take him home. Sick children don't belong at school.


OP's child's teacher obviously does not feel the same, as she called OP to tell her about it. If the school hadn't called, none of this would have happened, except for the child being upset.


I'm still amazed that the school called. I wonder if it was a public school or a private school.
Anonymous
Post 10/22/2014 20:14     Subject: is DH unreasonable?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OP here, a little background story. THe reason we forgot about pajamas is that DS was out of school 2 days last week, and two days this week with fever/vomiting. He was feeling better yesterday, but we generally keep him home for 24 hours after last fever episode. He went to school today still feeling a little tired. So I think he was crying or was upset more tha usual because of that. He is generally very easy to get along with.


But there's still you leaving work because you didn't like your husband's decision as parent-on-the-spot. How much faith and trust do you have in your husband as a father?


This. I agree he should have done it, and you're right to be pissed he didn't. But you leaving work for an hour to do it is insane.
Anonymous
Post 10/22/2014 20:08     Subject: is DH unreasonable?
This thread is making me rethink my aversion to private schools and uniforms.

And omg somehow I survived childhood without ever being allowed to wear costumes or pjs to school on a day that wasn't Halloween.
Anonymous
Post 10/22/2014 20:04     Subject: is DH unreasonable?
I'd be annoyed with my husband, but I certainly wouldn't have spent my time commuting back and forth to do this. Your son would have gotten over this.
Anonymous
Post 10/22/2014 19:54     Subject: Re:is DH unreasonable?
Anonymous wrote:Honestly OP, you gave in to a tantrum. Next time your kid will tantrum longer and harder. As a teacher I would have been super pissed if you showed up in my classroom and rewarded a tantrum like that. If you tried to tell me it was because he was sick then I would have asked you to take him home. Sick children don't belong at school.


OP's child's teacher obviously does not feel the same, as she called OP to tell her about it. If the school hadn't called, none of this would have happened, except for the child being upset.
Anonymous
Post 10/22/2014 19:52     Subject: is DH unreasonable?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Showing kids that their concerns are important to you increases the odds that your concerns will be seen as important by them.

I get it, OP. I would have done the same for a five-year-old. Your DH has a point, you can't coddle your child forever, but this wasn't the day/issue to leave him hanging.


So then when IS is acceptable to learn the lesson? I personally think the DH should have taken them because it wasn't a big deal for him to do it. No skin off his back. But would it have been the end of the world if he really couldn't and mom couldn't or wouldn't take 45 minutes to do it? No, it wouldn't. It's pajama day. There will be more. This isn't like the class went on a field trip and OP's son had to stay back because dad wouldn't turn in a permission slip. He would have done just fine without mom swooping in.


A day when he wouldn't be reminded for five hours that he's missing out. It's almost worse than a field trip in that sense, because he can see everyone else in pajamas all day.
Anonymous
Post 10/22/2014 19:51     Subject: is DH unreasonable?
OP did you forget Pajama Day too? Why didn't you them ready to go? That's what I would've done as well as remind my husband.

My husband and I are terrible at these types of things, but we do try because we know it's important to the kids. If I had forgotten PJ day I would've felt bad, apologized to my kid and told them we'd do it next time. And it's over.
Anonymous
Post 10/22/2014 19:49     Subject: is DH unreasonable?
I think your DH should've gone and given the PJs, since it wasn't difficult for him. I think you should NOT have gone for the reasons PPs have described.
Anonymous
Post 10/22/2014 19:48     Subject: is DH unreasonable?
Anonymous wrote:Showing kids that their concerns are important to you increases the odds that your concerns will be seen as important by them.

I get it, OP. I would have done the same for a five-year-old. Your DH has a point, you can't coddle your child forever, but this wasn't the day/issue to leave him hanging.


So then when IS is acceptable to learn the lesson? I personally think the DH should have taken them because it wasn't a big deal for him to do it. No skin off his back. But would it have been the end of the world if he really couldn't and mom couldn't or wouldn't take 45 minutes to do it? No, it wouldn't. It's pajama day. There will be more. This isn't like the class went on a field trip and OP's son had to stay back because dad wouldn't turn in a permission slip. He would have done just fine without mom swooping in.
Anonymous
Post 10/22/2014 19:46     Subject: is DH unreasonable?
Showing kids that their concerns are important to you increases the odds that your concerns will be seen as important by them.

I get it, OP. I would have done the same for a five-year-old. Your DH has a point, you can't coddle your child forever, but this wasn't the day/issue to leave him hanging.
Anonymous
Post 10/22/2014 19:41     Subject: Re:is DH unreasonable?
Honestly OP, you gave in to a tantrum. Next time your kid will tantrum longer and harder. As a teacher I would have been super pissed if you showed up in my classroom and rewarded a tantrum like that. If you tried to tell me it was because he was sick then I would have asked you to take him home. Sick children don't belong at school.
Anonymous
Post 10/22/2014 19:39     Subject: is DH unreasonable?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Oh! I didn't notice that the school called OP, who was at work, rather than DH, who was at home.

That's another problem with the school. As Ruth Bader Ginsburg famously said, "This child has two parents."

Schools call the number that's listed first on the emergency form. I assume that was the mother's number. They were able to reach her so I don't think they needed to contact the next on the list.
See how that works?


I think that it would make sense for the number that's listed first on the emergency form to belong to the parent who is closest to the school, even if that parent is not the mother.


But the OP didn't say that her DH works from home 5 days a week, or that she never works from home. It's possible that most days having her first makes sense.