This thread *feels* fake, but ho knows. Can someone really live the scenario of being obese, awkward, not knowing how to get men, *and* demanding they be Ivy League?

Marvel used to make "What if" comics WAY back in the day. That's what this is.

Anonymous wrote:Gastric bypass surgery will change your life for the better.

Are you fucking kidding me?? In no way does she qualify for that. You're an asshole.

taiguey wrote:do brains make up for lack of looks? --> NO

As a man, I can tell you this is a fact. Obesity is off the table. I have zero physical attraction to obese women.

Being attractive although shallow is important. Good physical conditioning and grooming are choices not matters of intelligence. Perhaps not always, but usually good conditioning and grooming will make people reasonably attractive. Beyond that a nip and a tuck can't hurt either.

Being attractive or less so is an individual's statement to the world about who they are. Fair or unfair that's the way those who are unfamiliar with our inner beauty tend to judge us.

To add. If a woman is very physically attractive yet doesn't have much smarts, it will totally turn me off.

Initial physical attraction is huge. If a man is turned off completely when he meets you, I don't think a great personality and intellectual conversation is going to convince him otherwise.

Now if he sees you and is thinking: "Eh....not bad."....the personality, etc. can definitely make him change his mind.

Just my .02 from personal experience.

After some though, I think that brains matter more to men than we (men) realize. It's just that female intelligence traditionally manifests itself as superior social skills and resourcesfulness, which are highly attractive to men, rather than intellectual achievements, which is impressive but not necessarily a turn-on. That being said, intelligent women are more likely to have intelligent children, which improves "reproductive success." And the perceived chances of reproductive success is what sexual attraction is, in a nutshell.

Sorry if that sounds a bit clinical.

Still most men cannot get past a lack of physical attraction. A man may choose a brilliant 6/10 over a dull 9/10, but he is not going to take the smart 3/10. If you can get yourself to the point where you are merely slightly overweight, you would increase your dating pool a hundredfold.

Anonymous wrote:http://www.mybodygallery.com/search.html?gender=female&height=157&age=any&weight=91&pantSize=any&shirtSize=any&bodytype=

Here you go... just put in weight and height...

Thanks...okay, just tone it up, OP. You can reel men in at this size, just pretty up and flirt. If you must keep the Ivy League degree as criteria be a bit more flexible. Consider men who are in certain fields.

http://www.mybodygallery.com/search.html?gender=female&height=157&age=any&weight=91&pantSize=any&shirtSize=any&bodytype=

Here you go... just put in weight and height...

I'm trying to imagine what a 5-4 and 200 lb woman looks like. I picture Roseanne (Barr/Arnold) when she was fat on her sitcom. Or is this height and weight combo smaller than that?

OP, your solution is simple: learn to flirt, share your personality and interests, and cast a wider net. How are you meeting men?

I'm 190 and didn't have any more trouble than usual in finding a good match for me. He's awesome, tall, funny and kind. I appreciate him for his unique qualities, not because he fits into my predetermined parameters.

The people I know with a list of requirements for their potential mate seem to do it because they're afraid of something. I had an ex sit me down to say she didn't know if it would work out because I listened to rap, among many other genres of music. She wasn't even an audiophile like I am. The comment really struck me as an excuse based in fear. It also told me she can't appreciate me unless I'm just like her. That's no way to live, IMO.

I see the same thing when my friends start with the checklist. People who are reasonably secure in who they are can respect someone else's choices and beliefs. Find that security and you'll find someone great. Spending time and energy trying to change someone is setting yourself up for a lifetime of misery.

This just can't be real. This forum has become an outlet for creative writing.

do brains make up for lack of looks? --> NO

Anonymous wrote:Actually, a very successful (Ivy educated, acc. to your definition) man has the pick of beautiful and highly educated women. Yes, they can get both in one person.

It does not seem that you are offering much right now to such a man. You could get a overweight and short, moderately successful man.

However, if you want an Ivy league guy - I would suggest a very shallow approach.

Go for a gastric bypass surgery, fix what you can fix - body, skin, hair, clothes.

Treat the makeover like the final Harvard MBA project - and change that aspect of your personality. Remember "The Swan"? A reality show about extreme makeover of women by plastic surgery and other cosmetic procedures.

Do NOT get a gastric bypass. Many people who get them initially lose weight and then return to being obese in a couple of years. They don't change their lifestyle or eating habits enough and just put the weight right back on. They have major surgery and it's for nothing.

Actually, a very successful (Ivy educated, acc. to your definition) man has the pick of beautiful and highly educated women. Yes, they can get both in one person.

It does not seem that you are offering much right now to such a man. You could get a overweight and short, moderately successful man.

However, if you want an Ivy league guy - I would suggest a very shallow approach.

Go for a gastric bypass surgery, fix what you can fix - body, skin, hair, clothes.

Treat the makeover like the final Harvard MBA project - and change that aspect of your personality. Remember "The Swan"? A reality show about extreme makeover of women by plastic surgery and other cosmetic procedures.