Anonymous wrote:How is this even a discussion?! It's on the invite people.

"We are happy to announce, that little Johnny Walker is invited to Jimmy's birthday party on July 2nd, 2014. Please arrive at 3 pm and pick up at 7pm. Let us know, if Johnny will be able to make it or not by June 25th."

What on earth is so hard to understand there?! Don't see a name on the invite? Oh. My. Gosh. That person is not invited! See a name on the invite? Look at that! That person is invited. Congratulations, you have now graduated from elementary school.

That's an invite for a drop off party. I don't think there's much debate that dropping off a sibling at a drop off party is rude.

It's simple. venue parties charge per child and have space limits. I don't want to pay for kids I don't know, often much older (the giant ?6 year olds tromping over the 3 year olds at the My Gym, for instance). And while I would never bring both my kids to a party to which only one was invited, it has happened to me multiple years in a row with the kids in our daycare. so yes, I started putting "due to space constraints, we are unfortunately not able to accommodate siblings" on the invitation.

It's a culture clash. Some people do everything together as a family, and believe that all parties should be family parties; all siblings should play together etc. This is the culture that is responsible for the idea that preschool parties should include everyone in the whole class, because they are thinking of the class as a family.

Others believe that kids are individuals and do things individually. Siblings can play with each other sometimes, but other times will want to play with their own friends. This is the culture that thinks it is OK to just invite your best 4 friends from nursery school to your party.

As long as everyone only hangs out with people who are of the same party culture, things are dandy, but when you get them mixed, watch out!

Anonymous wrote:I get it from both sides. I've only been to one invite-the-whole-class party, and I can see how that would get out of hand fast with siblings, especially at a venue. (also, I thought it was lame - 3yolds seriously don't care that much about party stuff, and the parents stood around awkwardly not drinking and making smalltalk about poo and politics. ugh. I imagine i'll use my infant as a good excuse to turn down such invites in the future when at all possible.)

I'm an introvert, too. But I appreciate getting to know the parents of children in my daughter's class. I like to know what her community's made of, who does what, and so on. I find almost everyone interesting and engaging... if anything, I have to step up my game.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a sitter. I'm sorry but for one or two hours that's really not too much to ask. If it was only ONE sibling, I am sure nobody would care - but imagine 5 invited guests each bringing a sibling. Or even more guests...yeah, not a good idea!

We recently had a small same sex birthday party for DC, two people brought opposite sex siblings and dropped them off, three kids parents stayed, and another brought opposite sex sibling, a set a grandparents and both parents, that is 13 extra people for a party of 8 kids. So my party went from 8 to 21. It sucked. Thanks.

OP here. That I don't understand. When it is drop off, it is obvious only invited child goes. I am talking about the under age 5 years where parents are required to stay and other spouse is unavailable to watch sibling.

This is PP who had party that increased to 21 people. It was for a 6 year old and should have been drop off. I had people drop off extra siblings as if I was a babysitter. I didn't have enough food, drinks or party favors. I was pretty peeved.

As for under 5 in your hypo, when that was my problem (husband out of town and I needed to stay for DC1 party) I would ask someone to carpool with me. I would find out who else was invited, and ask if they could take my child to this party and watch them, and offer to reciprocate for the next party. (And made sure I did). OR, you can ask someone whose child is also invited if they can host a play date for DC 2 while you take your DC1 and that persons child to the party. OR you see if you can arrange a play date for DC2 with a friend. It can be done, you just need to be creative.

I get it from both sides. I've only been to one invite-the-whole-class party, and I can see how that would get out of hand fast with siblings, especially at a venue. (also, I thought it was lame - 3yolds seriously don't care that much about party stuff, and the parents stood around awkwardly not drinking and making smalltalk about poo and politics. ugh. I imagine i'll use my infant as a good excuse to turn down such invites in the future when at all possible.)

having hosted small parties at my small house, I don't typically invite siblings but have more than once had a parent check ahead of time and see if it would be ok to make an exception. I have invariably said yes, of course, bring larla too; there will be plenty of pizza. it does seem a bit rude to just show up with a sibling without asking, but I get that things happen, sitters fall through, etc, and I'd rather have an extra person than have the family cancel.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why? Because your siblings cost the host money. And your presumption that they should be included is incredibly rude. The party isn't for your convenience.

If you can't afford a few extra 2 year olds, maybe you shouldn't be hosting a party.

You young moms crack me up when you say such silly things like this. Your age shows.

+1 Seriously.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why? Because your siblings cost the host money. And your presumption that they should be included is incredibly rude. The party isn't for your convenience.

If you can't afford a few extra 2 year olds, maybe you shouldn't be hosting a party.

You young moms crack me up when you say such silly things like this. Your age shows.

How is this even a discussion?! It's on the invite people.

"We are happy to announce, that little Johnny Walker is invited to Jimmy's birthday party on July 2nd, 2014. Please arrive at 3 pm and pick up at 7pm. Let us know, if Johnny will be able to make it or not by June 25th."

What on earth is so hard to understand there?! Don't see a name on the invite? Oh. My. Gosh. That person is not invited! See a name on the invite? Look at that! That person is invited. Congratulations, you have now graduated from elementary school.

A party is not a free babysitting event.

Anonymous wrote:There is only one correct answer here and those of you trying to justify your rudeness are crazy.

The person who is invited is the person who is invited. That may be for any number of reasons (cost, space, type of party, etc.) The reasons do not matter. As the guest, you do not have the right to increase that number to accommodate your needs. Simply decline. The sense that you are entitled to bring siblings or grandparents is mind-blowing. No. You don't.

I say this as someone who has, until this year (my DD is 7) invited parents and siblings to stay. That was my choice. It is a TON of work. But I was happy to do it. I don't fault others for not wanting to.

You were not invited? Your child's siblings were not invited? Then you/they don't go to the party. PERIOD. And, if you get in a snit about it and judge those people or want to stay clear of them b/c of it, then that says more about you than it does the host of the party.

+1. Exactly. This shouldn't even be up for debate. It is totally rude and inappropriate.

There is only one correct answer here and those of you trying to justify your rudeness are crazy.

The person who is invited is the person who is invited. That may be for any number of reasons (cost, space, type of party, etc.) The reasons do not matter. As the guest, you do not have the right to increase that number to accommodate your needs. Simply decline. The sense that you are entitled to bring siblings or grandparents is mind-blowing. No. You don't.

I say this as someone who has, until this year (my DD is 7) invited parents and siblings to stay. That was my choice. It is a TON of work. But I was happy to do it. I don't fault others for not wanting to.

You were not invited? Your child's siblings were not invited? Then you/they don't go to the party. PERIOD. And, if you get in a snit about it and judge those people or want to stay clear of them b/c of it, then that says more about you than it does the host of the party.

When we have a party at home, we always invite the family because our backyard is large enough to accommodate everyone comfortably. However, some of the gym type places only allow 20 kids and there is no way we can have siblings come then. There are usually 12 kids in my DS' preschool class and by the time we factor in neighborhood friends, we are already at the limit.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a sitter. I'm sorry but for one or two hours that's really not too much to ask. If it was only ONE sibling, I am sure nobody would care - but imagine 5 invited guests each bringing a sibling. Or even more guests...yeah, not a good idea!

We recently had a small same sex birthday party for DC, two people brought opposite sex siblings and dropped them off, three kids parents stayed, and another brought opposite sex sibling, a set a grandparents and both parents, that is 13 extra people for a party of 8 kids. So my party went from 8 to 21. It sucked. Thanks.

OP here. That I don't understand. When it is drop off, it is obvious only invited child goes. I am talking about the under age 5 years where parents are required to stay and other spouse is unavailable to watch sibling.

That's ridiculous. I would have said no to the attempt to drop off the siblings.