Anonymous wrote:And he only stopped bc she found out.

Sadly, that's the way it usually happens. Very few cheaters come clean without a confrontation. That unfortunate reality stacks the deck against most recovery efforts, which is why so many infidelities end in divorce. Good luck to OP.

And he only stopped bc she found out.

If my DH cheated on me for three weeks or three months and came clean, I could try marriage counseling. If he carried on an affair for FIVE YEARS, that is such a long time to say it was a mistake. I can't imagine a marriage surviving that. I give you credit for trying but I would always feel that I was being deceived.

Anonymous wrote:Transparency schmarency
Not giving you my passwords if you need security hire a bodyguard don't spy on me

Good heavens, why would anyone want your passwords? You sound like someone who is incapable of having a healthy relationship. Good luck with that.