Anonymous wrote:I fully expect my mother's last act to be kicking me hard on her way to the grave, one last time. So no, I would not be upset because I am ready for it. I myself would never want my legacy to be conflict and pain between family members, but that's a major difference between the way I live and the way my mother lives.

It's just one more way to exert some power to hurt someone, IMO.

+1

Common sense prevails. If you leave it to one, leave it to all. You hit the nail on the head when you said favoritism is a great way to divide families!

OP, to answer your question, as long as the money is left to ALL grandchildren equally, I see no problem. In fact, none of MILs (4) children need anything - they all own houses and have gone to college, for example. So any money left to grandchildren would only help the grandchildren, as it should! No grandparent, no matter how know-it-all, knows their children's money, and should be looking to help the grandchildren. In my world, that is a grandparents job, if they are able to do it for one - in which case, they should do it for all, no question.

Yep definitely. And you have a right to be. Those saying her money her choice? Wrong! You have a responsibility even when you are leaving an inheritance, to not cut anyone out. Passing money on is like passing on favor. If you leave someone out it's like you didn't care for them. SHAME on her.

Anonymous wrote:I haven't read the previous 8(!) pages. However, I figure that my kids WILL get something if my parents leave anything to me, which is likely.

I haven't read it all either...but this pretty much sums up my situation and I never thought to be hurt by it. My parents spoiled me on occasion growing up and now I am supporting my family, they want to help me do that by getting my kids off to a strong start once they go to college

I haven't read the previous 8(!) pages. However, I figure that my kids WILL get something if my parents leave anything to me, which is likely.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't be offended if my parents did that. In fact, I was surprised (but not hurt) to find out that the grandchildren didn't factor into my parents' will at all. They've always said they wanted such & such account to go to their grandkid's college education but instead have written their will so that all accounts will be split up among their adult children; there's no special set aside for grandkids' college like they said they wanted. It's their money though and if that's what they want, I respect that and don't take offense.

In your situation, since you have so many financial burdens, I might expect your children to cover more of their educational expenses once their inheritance comes through since they'll have the funds to do so and you won't.

I find this a bit strange, my gram is intent on leaving something in her will for the grands and great grands -- I keep telling her not to. Just give it to your 3 kids and when they pass they can leave whatever they want and have to their kids. Seems silly to try to split stuff up over a whole bunch of people and generations.

I don't think it's silly. People should have their money given wherever they like. My parents had set up a college account for one of their kids, ended up not needing it due to scholarships, and intended to roll it over to the next generation's college funds - it was always intended to pay for some one's education and hopefully, one day it will. If this generation doesn't need it, perhaps the next will.

What I was saying was silly was being upset that the grandkids didn't get anything!!! Bottom line is it is their money, if they want to leave it to the cats, yea for the cats!

money left to your kids is money you dont have to spend on them. that college education you were saving for them? THATS your money now, and the inheritance is your kids' money.
its zero-sum, to some extent. Its also money they can use to take care of you when you're old, if you keep good relationships with them. So no need to save for really old age either.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't be offended if my parents did that. In fact, I was surprised (but not hurt) to find out that the grandchildren didn't factor into my parents' will at all. They've always said they wanted such & such account to go to their grandkid's college education but instead have written their will so that all accounts will be split up among their adult children; there's no special set aside for grandkids' college like they said they wanted. It's their money though and if that's what they want, I respect that and don't take offense.

In your situation, since you have so many financial burdens, I might expect your children to cover more of their educational expenses once their inheritance comes through since they'll have the funds to do so and you won't.

I find this a bit strange, my gram is intent on leaving something in her will for the grands and great grands -- I keep telling her not to. Just give it to your 3 kids and when they pass they can leave whatever they want and have to their kids. Seems silly to try to split stuff up over a whole bunch of people and generations.

I don't think it's silly. People should have their money given wherever they like. My parents had set up a college account for one of their kids, ended up not needing it due to scholarships, and intended to roll it over to the next generation's college funds - it was always intended to pay for some one's education and hopefully, one day it will. If this generation doesn't need it, perhaps the next will.

I think my in laws will do this because my MIL is so controlling. She'll take that control to the grave. It is her money and I have no right to it but I think the kids should get it and decide what is best for their children.

Anonymous wrote:I wouldn't be offended if my parents did that. In fact, I was surprised (but not hurt) to find out that the grandchildren didn't factor into my parents' will at all. They've always said they wanted such & such account to go to their grandkid's college education but instead have written their will so that all accounts will be split up among their adult children; there's no special set aside for grandkids' college like they said they wanted. It's their money though and if that's what they want, I respect that and don't take offense.

In your situation, since you have so many financial burdens, I might expect your children to cover more of their educational expenses once their inheritance comes through since they'll have the funds to do so and you won't.

I find this a bit strange, my gram is intent on leaving something in her will for the grands and great grands -- I keep telling her not to. Just give it to your 3 kids and when they pass they can leave whatever they want and have to their kids. Seems silly to try to split stuff up over a whole bunch of people and generations.

Anonymous wrote:Nope - my parents are leaving all their money to my daughter and my brother's son (in a trust). My grandmother left all her money to my brother and I.

My parents are still alive, but the trust is set up that my daughter will be able to access some of the money for college, some of the money at 20 and the rest of the trust at 30.

I don't think I should have any say in my parents money - and my brother and I have told my parents NOT to tell the kids about the money, so they don't know its coming.

We make our own way in life - and shouldn't plan on the work (or money) of others.

making my own way in life would be easier if my gram had had anything to leave me.

Anonymous wrote:I fully expect my mother's last act to be kicking me hard on her way to the grave, one last time. So no, I would not be upset because I am ready for it. I myself would never want my legacy to be conflict and pain between family members, but that's a major difference between the way I live and the way my mother lives.

It's just one more way to exert some power to hurt someone, IMO.

i am sorry. my mom is no peach, either. i don't know how mothers can be capable of this. i look at my two children and just can't imagine anything but giving them my life if i needed to. life is strange and sad.

I fully expect my mother's last act to be kicking me hard on her way to the grave, one last time. So no, I would not be upset because I am ready for it. I myself would never want my legacy to be conflict and pain between family members, but that's a major difference between the way I live and the way my mother lives.

It's just one more way to exert some power to hurt someone, IMO.

My parents are leaving it all to the animal shelter. They keep telling their parents to spend it all and enjoy life to the fullest as much as they can.

I will be shocked if I get inheritance from anyone at any point. It's just not something that's done in my family, and that's okay with me.

I wouldn't be offended if my parents did that. In fact, I was surprised (but not hurt) to find out that the grandchildren didn't factor into my parents' will at all. They've always said they wanted such & such account to go to their grandkid's college education but instead have written their will so that all accounts will be split up among their adult children; there's no special set aside for grandkids' college like they said they wanted. It's their money though and if that's what they want, I respect that and don't take offense.

In your situation, since you have so many financial burdens, I might expect your children to cover more of their educational expenses once their inheritance comes through since they'll have the funds to do so and you won't.

Anonymous wrote:My husband just told me his parents are leaving their money to his sister and our four children. I'm beyond upset. Why? Probably because they hate me. Why does his sister get an inheritance but my husband does not? His sister has two kids. I want nothing to do with my in laws anymore.

So you are upset that ur kids will get something?
It is the IL's money, it is this reaction that they were going for... Way to play right into their hands .