Anonymous
Post 08/08/2013 15:56     Subject: I've noticed single women in their 40s who have not been married and don't have kids..
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Totally disagree. I'm 40 with two kids, one in middle school. I'm regularly complimented--often hit on. It's a combo of feeling sexy in my own skin, enough $ to afford flattering clothes and haircuts and skin creams, a killer workout regimen, and hot sex (with my husband!). My closest GFs look amazing. I would say the reasons are the same for them (w/ the exception of the hot sex). We each have 1-2 friends/acquaintances who are the sand age but single and all either look as good as us or worse but not one looks better.


omg

How DO you have friends?

You're nothing but a dish of conceit with sprinkling of shallowness on top.

likes do indeed attract likes

I prefer my friends to be flawed. It's just too hard having to pretend to be perfect[u].


You know, hon, that those harping on the sex topic are the ones NOT getting it.




Who said we're not flawed???!!! So sorry you're not having hot sex!
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2013 15:22     Subject: I've noticed single women in their 40s who have not been married and don't have kids..
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OF COURSE single women in their 40s (and 30s) who have not been married and don't have kids generally look better than their married/mom counterparts. The obvious reason is because most of these women are still looking for significant others and have to keep up their appearances to do so! Think about all the newly divorced women who suddenly lose 30 pounds/dye their hair/cut their hair/start exercising/start wearing makeup, etc. When you are single and seeking a sig other, you have higher maintenance standards (generally speaking) than those who are settled down. This isn't some big secret. And to those single, childless 40-somethings who will immediately jump on to tell me what a sexist I am, that you have no interest in attracting a mate, that you're perfectly happy alone, I will just respond: please, girlfriend. I have plenty of wonderful, brilliant, single, attractive friends, and every single one of them is looking for someone. And they definitely keep themselves fit and attractive for that purpose.


Your post implies that coupled women don't keep themselves fit and attractive because they are no longer shopping around for men?


Um, if I implied it, my mistake - I meant to explicitly state it. As a generalization (of course, there are always exceptions to any generalization), single women tend to keep themselves more attractive and fit than married women do. Just as suddenly divorced women often go through massive make-overs.


The exceptions are women like me. Married but bored and looking.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2013 14:49     Subject: I've noticed single women in their 40s who have not been married and don't have kids..
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Yes, having kids and raising kids really does age you.
Research on women who have lived beyond 80 surprisingly found that they had children in their late 30s, early 40s. Having children forces you to live a healthy lifestyle.
My grandmother was 42 when she had her last kid an she lived to be 95


That's really interesting. My grandmother had my mom at 42 and lived to 99. Was a very youthful looking woman too and had a head full of beautiful silver hair, few wrinkles, and glowing brown skin in her old age. My mom had 9 kids and she also has these same features. Fingers crossed this happens for me as well.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2013 14:12     Subject: I've noticed single women in their 40s who have not been married and don't have kids..
13:57/14:05 - I don't think you are wrong. Some women do let themselves go a bit once they have the husband locked down. (and then they do the post-divorce makeover.) I've seen it happen. Guys do it too.

(13:55 single mom here. I've always kept myself in shape mostly for me, but yes, let's face it, you don't want to let yourself go when you're still "out there" in the dating world.)
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2013 14:05     Subject: I've noticed single women in their 40s who have not been married and don't have kids..
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:OF COURSE single women in their 40s (and 30s) who have not been married and don't have kids generally look better than their married/mom counterparts. The obvious reason is because most of these women are still looking for significant others and have to keep up their appearances to do so! Think about all the newly divorced women who suddenly lose 30 pounds/dye their hair/cut their hair/start exercising/start wearing makeup, etc. When you are single and seeking a sig other, you have higher maintenance standards (generally speaking) than those who are settled down. This isn't some big secret. And to those single, childless 40-somethings who will immediately jump on to tell me what a sexist I am, that you have no interest in attracting a mate, that you're perfectly happy alone, I will just respond: please, girlfriend. I have plenty of wonderful, brilliant, single, attractive friends, and every single one of them is looking for someone. And they definitely keep themselves fit and attractive for that purpose.


Your post implies that coupled women don't keep themselves fit and attractive because they are no longer shopping around for men?


Um, if I implied it, my mistake - I meant to explicitly state it. As a generalization (of course, there are always exceptions to any generalization), single women tend to keep themselves more attractive and fit than married women do. Just as suddenly divorced women often go through massive make-overs.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2013 14:03     Subject: I've noticed single women in their 40s who have not been married and don't have kids..
Dude, 33 year old self described hottie, this is about women in their 40s. You have a solid seven ish years, so, not really relevant.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2013 14:01     Subject: I've noticed single women in their 40s who have not been married and don't have kids..
Anonymous wrote:OF COURSE single women in their 40s (and 30s) who have not been married and don't have kids generally look better than their married/mom counterparts. The obvious reason is because most of these women are still looking for significant others and have to keep up their appearances to do so! Think about all the newly divorced women who suddenly lose 30 pounds/dye their hair/cut their hair/start exercising/start wearing makeup, etc. When you are single and seeking a sig other, you have higher maintenance standards (generally speaking) than those who are settled down. This isn't some big secret. And to those single, childless 40-somethings who will immediately jump on to tell me what a sexist I am, that you have no interest in attracting a mate, that you're perfectly happy alone, I will just respond: please, girlfriend. I have plenty of wonderful, brilliant, single, attractive friends, and every single one of them is looking for someone. And they definitely keep themselves fit and attractive for that purpose.


Your post implies that coupled women don't keep themselves fit and attractive because they are no longer shopping around for men?
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2013 13:57     Subject: I've noticed single women in their 40s who have not been married and don't have kids..
OF COURSE single women in their 40s (and 30s) who have not been married and don't have kids generally look better than their married/mom counterparts. The obvious reason is because most of these women are still looking for significant others and have to keep up their appearances to do so! Think about all the newly divorced women who suddenly lose 30 pounds/dye their hair/cut their hair/start exercising/start wearing makeup, etc. When you are single and seeking a sig other, you have higher maintenance standards (generally speaking) than those who are settled down. This isn't some big secret. And to those single, childless 40-somethings who will immediately jump on to tell me what a sexist I am, that you have no interest in attracting a mate, that you're perfectly happy alone, I will just respond: please, girlfriend. I have plenty of wonderful, brilliant, single, attractive friends, and every single one of them is looking for someone. And they definitely keep themselves fit and attractive for that purpose.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2013 13:55     Subject: I've noticed single women in their 40s who have not been married and don't have kids..
I think it depends on the person. I'm a 41-year-old single woman who had a kid at 36. Some of my mom friends look amazing; some don't. Some of my non-mom friends look amazing; some don't. People rarely believe I'm my age because I have pretty good genes, work out daily and don't diet so I'm not uber-skinny. (which can age your face.) Some moms stop trying and look older; some dress in ways that can age them.

Some of my 30's/40's friends who are child-free are getting very anxious about getting married/having kids, and I wonder if that stress will age them. My friends who don't want kids seem pretty relaxed. Some look younger, but in some cases, the "not wanting kids" lifestyle involves a lot of drinking and smoking and staying out late, which can age you. It's a crapshoot.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2013 13:29     Subject: I've noticed single women in their 40s who have not been married and don't have kids..
Lots of early 40s women look like early or late 30s
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2013 12:54     Subject: Re:I've noticed single women in their 40s who have not been married and don't have kids..
It's generally based on genetics on how people age, right?

Anonymous
Post 08/08/2013 12:50     Subject: I've noticed single women in their 40s who have not been married and don't have kids..
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I look great and I'm 33 with a toddler. I regularly get mistaken for mid twenties.

My friend who is 37 and childless actually looks amazing, like she is 30.

I think this is generally true. I feel like I'm an exception here but I definitely have stretch marks and loose skin on my tummy. My tits are still hot, even after 2 years of nursing.


And modest too!


Are people not allowed to feel good about themselves? I think I look great too. Does that make me a bad person?


You can be a good person but still immodest. See how that works? People who spend more time thinking analytically than primping have an easier time with this. I look pretty damn good for 47 - at least men in their 50s and 60s think so - but the hot guys in their 20s look right through me. It all depends on your frame of reference.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2013 12:40     Subject: I've noticed single women in their 40s who have not been married and don't have kids..
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote: Look the youngest and most relaxed. Seriously, my friends. coworkers and even just people I knew who never married and didn't have or adopt kids look about 10 years younger than the rest of us who married and had kids. I noticed that with my parents' single friends back in the day. I have no regrets with my life choices, I just am always surprised by how striking the difference is. These are not people using botox or getting plastic surgery either.

Have you noticed this?


I agree, and they have no stress, that's why they look so young


Looking younger is artificial. These non-moms have the time to exercise and sleep. Perhaps they can focus more on themselves, like getting regular maintenance, aka botox, lipo, etc. I say more power to them. But, I would not trade places with them. I cannot imagine my life without my child and husband.

Anonymous
Post 08/08/2013 12:37     Subject: I've noticed single women in their 40s who have not been married and don't have kids..
Anonymous wrote:I just skimmed the article. First off if you took the scowl off her face girlfriend has aged quite well. With a smile she'd look like she was in her mid 30s, maybe even early 30s.
Second, I think there is some research suggesting women in general are more prone to depression. I strongly suspect for every depressed and full of regret single person without kids are there are depressed and full of regret married moms working outside the home, inside the home, on top of the home (roofer?)whatever. We all get a case of grass is greener syndrome. Facebook and Instagram wouldn't make people sad if it wasn't human nature to constantly compare.

I think people also get lost in delusional thinking about what it is to have kids. There probably are people out there with easy kids, but nobody gets a guarantee. One of my kids, who has SN, was VERY challenging for quite a while. I don't post on facebook, but when I send out Christmas cards I like to have the happy carefree photo. Somebody might look at the photo and think all is easy breezy and happy, happy. I don't think they would see the humor in a photo that was more real.

That said, I think it is a fact that on average those without children who never married look younger. I don't think one can assume they aren't stressed. Maybe being able to catch up on sleep and do other things to take care of yourself makes the stress have less of an impact.


Disagree. She looks her age, and not a day younger.

But that's not the point, I tend to believe that very few childless women made this choice deliberately (as in, I have everything I need to become a mother, emotionally, financially, health-wise, etc., but I refuse to, on principle). For the overwhelming majority, it was exactly like Helen Mirren said, you expect things to fall into place somehow, but they don't.
Anonymous
Post 08/08/2013 12:26     Subject: I've noticed single women in their 40s who have not been married and don't have kids..
I just skimmed the article. First off if you took the scowl off her face girlfriend has aged quite well. With a smile she'd look like she was in her mid 30s, maybe even early 30s.

Second, I think there is some research suggesting women in general are more prone to depression. I strongly suspect for every depressed and full of regret single person without kids are there are depressed and full of regret married moms working outside the home, inside the home, on top of the home (roofer?)whatever. We all get a case of grass is greener syndrome. Facebook and Instagram wouldn't make people sad if it wasn't human nature to constantly compare.

I think people also get lost in delusional thinking about what it is to have kids. There probably are people out there with easy kids, but nobody gets a guarantee. One of my kids, who has SN, was VERY challenging for quite a while. I don't post on facebook, but when I send out Christmas cards I like to have the happy carefree photo. Somebody might look at the photo and think all is easy breezy and happy, happy. I don't think they would see the humor in a photo that was more real.

That said, I think it is a fact that on average those without children who never married look younger. I don't think one can assume they aren't stressed. Maybe being able to catch up on sleep and do other things to take care of yourself makes the stress have less of an impact.