Anonymous
Post 07/06/2013 23:25     Subject: Please share stupid things well-meaning parents of typically developing kids have said to you
Anonymous wrote:When DH' sister insisted that our 10yo DD with Asperger's not show up at her super-socialite wedding because quote, "My new relatives won't understand autism, they would think I will have these type of children too.", I pulled all the stops, and for the past 6 years, this Ms. Hilton hasn't seen all of her nephews and nieces. DH has been refusing to talk to her ever since despite ILs urgings. To this day she thinks she didn't say anything wrong.


How awful. I'm not sure that's "stupid but well meaning" though. It's more like "stupid and bitchy".

I'd have cut them off too.
Anonymous
Post 07/06/2013 00:03     Subject: Re:Please share stupid things well-meaning parents of typically developing kids have said to you
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My friend is constantly telling me how she feels sorry for me and she doesn't know how I do it because she couldn't.

Let me tell you, having a seriously disabled kid is not my idea of a good time. That said, what am I supposed to do, curl up and not do what needs to be done? Love my child less? Hell no! I handle it because I have no other choice and because I love and adore my child.

I don't need this friend to feel sorry for me and it pisses me off that she does. We've been friends more than a decade and this isn't going to end our friendship but it does make me want to punch her sometimes.


Since your such good friends, have you told her how you feel? And what you would like to hear instead?


No. She's very sensitive, unsure of herself, depressed, and physically frail. I know she isn't saying it to be malicious, she's saying it because it's true, she couldn't do it. I don't want to make her feel like shit just because she annoyed me.
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2013 23:48     Subject: Please share stupid things well-meaning parents of typically developing kids have said to you
Anonymous wrote:"Just spank him!", "You need to spank him", "If you spanked him like we spanked you, you wouldn't have this problem now."


BIL thinks a good swift kick to the ass would cure DS of ASD. If I put him in sports he wouldn't be bipolar and he doesn't "buy" the fact that he's epileptic. If I gave him vitamins, sunshine, and a beating we wouldn't be dealing with any of this.

He doesn't have kids and I hope he never does.
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2013 23:44     Subject: Re:Please share stupid things well-meaning parents of typically developing kids have said to you
Anonymous wrote:My friend is constantly telling me how she feels sorry for me and she doesn't know how I do it because she couldn't.

Let me tell you, having a seriously disabled kid is not my idea of a good time. That said, what am I supposed to do, curl up and not do what needs to be done? Love my child less? Hell no! I handle it because I have no other choice and because I love and adore my child.

I don't need this friend to feel sorry for me and it pisses me off that she does. We've been friends more than a decade and this isn't going to end our friendship but it does make me want to punch her sometimes.


Since your such good friends, have you told her how you feel? And what you would like to hear instead?
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2013 22:52     Subject: Re:Please share stupid things well-meaning parents of typically developing kids have said to you
My friend is constantly telling me how she feels sorry for me and she doesn't know how I do it because she couldn't.

Let me tell you, having a seriously disabled kid is not my idea of a good time. That said, what am I supposed to do, curl up and not do what needs to be done? Love my child less? Hell no! I handle it because I have no other choice and because I love and adore my child.

I don't need this friend to feel sorry for me and it pisses me off that she does. We've been friends more than a decade and this isn't going to end our friendship but it does make me want to punch her sometimes.
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2013 16:04     Subject: Please share stupid things well-meaning parents of typically developing kids have said to you
For many long years I too had celibacy disease...

(Not to make light of anything here, but sometimes the giggle in the middle of all the frustration is really important.)
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2013 15:59     Subject: Please share stupid things well-meaning parents of typically developing kids have said to you
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:When DH' sister insisted that our 10yo DD with Asperger's not show up at her super-socialite wedding because quote, "My new relatives won't understand autism, they would think I will have these type of children too.", I pulled all the stops, and for the past 6 years, this Ms. Hilton hasn't seen all of her nephews and nieces. DH has been refusing to talk to her ever since despite ILs urgings. To this day she thinks she didn't say anything wrong.


Seems a long time to hold a grudge.


There doesn't seem to be a change of heart on the bride's part. I wouldn't say they are holding a grudge, more like they are not exposing to her for her current attitude.


If she would've apologized to us during the past 6 years, we would've tried to bridge a new relationship with her. But to this day, she think she didn't do anything wrong. If she was excluding all children, we would've understood. But she specifically excluded her SN niece b/c God forbid, what would her ILs think? Btw, we occasionally run into her family and they are very surprised why they never see us at family gatherings. They have also encountered our SN DD and were fine with her. So go figure.
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2013 15:36     Subject: Re:Please share stupid things well-meaning parents of typically developing kids have said to you
Anonymous wrote:Eh, i dont know. This kid's aunt told his family he couldnt come to her wedding because he's an embarrassment. You think the mom is being too touchy here? Whats she supposed to say, eh, lets let byones be bygones -- my son's an embarrassment to you, but hey, we're family???


i think it depend son how much avoiding the aunt impacts on her son and the family. If aunt lives off somewhere by herself and is easy to avoid - fine. But if avoiding aunt also means not getting together with family at events, not visiting other family as aunt might be there, not getting to know cousins, then it is holding a grudge and doing more harm than good.
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2013 15:29     Subject: Please share stupid things well-meaning parents of typically developing kids have said to you
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:When DH' sister insisted that our 10yo DD with Asperger's not show up at her super-socialite wedding because quote, "My new relatives won't understand autism, they would think I will have these type of children too.", I pulled all the stops, and for the past 6 years, this Ms. Hilton hasn't seen all of her nephews and nieces. DH has been refusing to talk to her ever since despite ILs urgings. To this day she thinks she didn't say anything wrong.


Seems a long time to hold a grudge.


There doesn't seem to be a change of heart on the bride's part. I wouldn't say they are holding a grudge, more like they are not exposing to her for her current attitude.
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2013 15:17     Subject: Re:Please share stupid things well-meaning parents of typically developing kids have said to you
Eh, i dont know. This kid's aunt told his family he couldnt come to her wedding because he's an embarrassment. You think the mom is being too touchy here? Whats she supposed to say, eh, lets let byones be bygones -- my son's an embarrassment to you, but hey, we're family???
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2013 14:41     Subject: Please share stupid things well-meaning parents of typically developing kids have said to you
Anonymous wrote:When DH' sister insisted that our 10yo DD with Asperger's not show up at her super-socialite wedding because quote, "My new relatives won't understand autism, they would think I will have these type of children too.", I pulled all the stops, and for the past 6 years, this Ms. Hilton hasn't seen all of her nephews and nieces. DH has been refusing to talk to her ever since despite ILs urgings. To this day she thinks she didn't say anything wrong.


Seems a long time to hold a grudge.
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2013 14:37     Subject: Please share stupid things well-meaning parents of typically developing kids have said to you
When DH' sister insisted that our 10yo DD with Asperger's not show up at her super-socialite wedding because quote, "My new relatives won't understand autism, they would think I will have these type of children too.", I pulled all the stops, and for the past 6 years, this Ms. Hilton hasn't seen all of her nephews and nieces. DH has been refusing to talk to her ever since despite ILs urgings. To this day she thinks she didn't say anything wrong.
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2013 14:31     Subject: Re:Please share stupid things well-meaning parents of typically developing kids have said to you
There are days I wish I had celibacy disease
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2013 14:20     Subject: Re:Please share stupid things well-meaning parents of typically developing kids have said to you
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:My DD has a significant expressive language disorder and Celibacy disease. She has struggled for years to express herself but is very smart especially in math. My sister insists on saying how bad she feels for her because her sister is sooooo smart. This is done right in front of her! Drives me crazy! My MIL likes to comment on what university our older daughter should attend but when our DD said that she was wanted to go to college at UMASS like my DH she told her that some kids really do not need to go to college and maybe she should think about technical school. I will admit that I lost my cool on this one. She said she was trying to help my DD keep reasonable dreams.


I have to ask....what is "Celibacy disease"?


LOL...Celiac.


Best autocorrect ever!
Anonymous
Post 07/05/2013 14:19     Subject: Please share stupid things well-meaning parents of typically developing kids have said to you
Anonymous wrote:Holy cow, 13:27. I realize family is family, but why do you keep bringing your children around these assholes?


We now have very infrequent contact with both of them. Luckily, my mom and dad are amazing and so we choose to visit them more often.