It sounds like this has always been his pattern and maybe you were okay with it and spent nights out drunk at friends houses too...until the baby came along.

You want him to change now that the baby is here. He hasn't / doesn't and is still doing the same as he did before.

Did he used to call you? if you have been together 15 years and his pattern for 15 years has been that he goes out, gets drunk, crashes at his buddies and shows up at home in the morning...then that is his pattern. Just like most people aren't okay with an open marriage, most people aren't okay with their husband not coming home. But if up until recently you have been cool with it, your issue is not his behavior but that it hasn't changed since the baby was born.

Holy dogshit.... this is ridic.... Never have I done this. I have stayed with friends before - but its a planned thing - guys weekend once a year, taht kind of shit.... going to a bar but getting to drunk to remember to call you?

WHAT.
THE .
FUCK.

I think OP looked a little deeper she'd see that she has really low self esteem to put up with this. He's not respecting you, OP, nor your child.

So not ok. Just not.

Anonymous wrote:Your DH is having an affair.

His friends would cover for him. and your DH is likely not even worried about that because he knows you are buying his BS.

This. Sorry OP.

He is having an affair. I've been there. This is too regular a thing. I'm so sorry.

Anonymous wrote:My husband has absolutely never in our 26 years of marriage done anything like that. Yes it would bother me. No you aren't over-reacting.

20 years for me, and he has never done that. Wow.

If my husband did that I would think he has "someone" else on the side... To make a mistake 1,2 is ok, but every month is a plan...

And my husband would never even think about staying out late... Can't even imagine him not come home..


Sorry..

I feel like you might be the wife of someone I know. He's part of an "open" relationship... basically, they're swingers. And he's allowed to sleep with other people as long as the wife knows. But he does sneak around and do more than that without her knowing. It makes no sense, but anecdotally, it seems everyone I know or have heard of being in an open relationship ends up screwing up their arrangement in some way. I don't know why any of these people bother to be married at all.

Anonymous wrote:If you really trust him then don't care. If I trusted my boyfriend of 4 years then I would embrace the night off and the bed to myself.

I would also...if I trusted him...go out the next night get wasted and take the night off! He can stay home with the baby.

If you really trust him then don't care. If I trusted my boyfriend of 4 years then I would embrace the night off and the bed to myself.

If he was truly too drunk to drive and chose to stay over w/a friend, he could at least answer his phone or send you a text letting you know what he was going to do.

I am sorry to say this, but I think your man is running around on you. I don't know if it is just a booty call, but this doesn't look good.

Anonymous wrote:Yikes, I pity some of your husbands. I go out with my buddies some time and we have drinks and I may get home late like 2am (by taxi), but DW doesn't mind since it's only once a month unless old friends are in town.

I don't stay out overnight, but I would text her if that situation arose. I think the issue is OP's DH isn't at least letting her know he's OK.

I don't thikn it's an affair -- way too sloppy in terms of cover-up if it were.

Why do you pity them? My DH does exactly what you do and I do as well. A few times we've had to drive back to the bar the next morning and get my car.

It is under no circumstances for it to be OK to have an infant at home and a wife at home and not come home and not call.

I have a bridge in Alaska I'd like to sell the OP.

I wouldn't put up with this. especially with a baby??

OP, you say you are a worrier. You worry about his safety if he doesn't come home and doesn't contact you. Are you at all worried about his safety when he drinks to the point of passing out? That's alcohol poisoning. Also, a friend of a friend recently drank a lot at a wedding and stumbled up to his hotel room. He passed out on the bed and choked on his own vomit and died. My husband regularly binge drinking would worry me.

In general, I would not be okay with my husband choosing to put himself in a situation where he is not able to answer his phone, especially if we have an infant.