Anonymous
Post 01/30/2013 11:20     Subject: My DH has 2-3 drinks per night - is he an alcoholic?
Anonymous wrote:The best way to find out is to test. See if he (Or anyone else for that matter.) can go to having drinks every other night or every third night. If not, then yes he's an alcoholic because there is a dependency on those drinks. You don't need to be , or even appear tipsy, to be an alcoholic.


I'm sorry, but that is not the clinical definition of alcoholism. The clinical definition (per the DSM) is:

Alcohol Abuse ( (1 or more criteria for over 1 year)

Role Impairment (e.g. failed work or home obligations)
Hazardous use (e.g. Driving, swimming or operating machinery while intoxicated)
Legal problems related to Alcohol use
Social or interpersonal problems due to Alcohol

Alcohol Dependence (3 or more criteria for over 1 year)

Tolerance (increased drinking to achieve same effect)
Alcohol Withdrawal signs or symptoms
Drinking more than intended
Unsuccessful attempts to cut down on use
Excessive time related to Alcohol (obtaining, hangover)
Impaired social or work activities due to Alcohol
Use despite physical or psychological consequences

http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/books/NBK44358/

Anonymous
Post 01/30/2013 10:55     Subject: My DH has 2-3 drinks per night - is he an alcoholic?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:functioning alcoholics have 2-3 drinks a night.

you can have functioning crack heads too


Please show me a functioning crack head.


They exist. I was a student intern in a program for working professionals who had crack addictions. There were lawyers, teachers, health care providers etc... a whole range of professionals. They knew exactly how much to use and when to use it to have as little impact as possible on their work life, and their employers / coworkers were non the wiser. Most of their family lives were falling apart though. This was a very private program for addicts who wanted to keep their rehab process as undercover as possible. It was fascinating sitting in the meetings - so much of their time was spent thinking about crack and how to obtain and use it without anyone knowing. All had joined the program because they felt they couldn't keep it up much longer and wanted off the crack.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2013 10:41     Subject: My DH has 2-3 drinks per night - is he an alcoholic?
Anonymous wrote:Ditto all those who are saying that it's not about the number of drinks but the reason behind them. I used to have 1-2 glasses of wine a night. I loved those glasses of wine and looked forward to them. I did become concerned that I was a bit too dependent on alcohol. So I cut way back and learned that I wasn't dependent on the alcohol - I just enjoyed wine and got in the HABIT of having that glass or two of wine every night. That is not alcoholism. That is enjoying a bit of alcohol mixed with habit. A habit that was easy to break once I decided to, even though it was an enjoyable habit. An alcoholic can't break the habit that easily.


+1
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2013 07:19     Subject: My DH has 2-3 drinks per night - is he an alcoholic?
The best way to find out is to test. See if he (Or anyone else for that matter.) can go to having drinks every other night or every third night. If not, then yes he's an alcoholic because there is a dependency on those drinks. You don't need to be , or even appear tipsy, to be an alcoholic.
Anonymous
Post 01/30/2013 01:19     Subject: My DH has 2-3 drinks per night - is he an alcoholic?
Ditto all those who are saying that it's not about the number of drinks but the reason behind them. I used to have 1-2 glasses of wine a night. I loved those glasses of wine and looked forward to them. I did become concerned that I was a bit too dependent on alcohol. So I cut way back and learned that I wasn't dependent on the alcohol - I just enjoyed wine and got in the HABIT of having that glass or two of wine every night. That is not alcoholism. That is enjoying a bit of alcohol mixed with habit. A habit that was easy to break once I decided to, even though it was an enjoyable habit. An alcoholic can't break the habit that easily.
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2013 18:40     Subject: My DH has 2-3 drinks per night - is he an alcoholic?
Here's the thing about "drinks" - a restaurant's glass of wine is barely a third full, while the glass my mom pours at home is near the top. Have three of those in a few hours every night for a couple years, and you'll move on to bigger glasses and more servings. And if those glasses are filled with scotch, it's even worse (bc no one is measuring shots at home...they are filling a glass two thirds of the way or more).
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2013 17:50     Subject: Re:My DH has 2-3 drinks per night - is he an alcoholic?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:17:37 you seem really defensive and hung up on the label. This is the deal: whether one glass or fifty, what defines an alcoholic is the need - or perceived need - to drink alcohol and the inability to control that urge. Sorry if this hits a nerve for you, but that's the reality.


I'm not defensive. I just think it is kind of clueless and offensive to people who have had loved ones who are actual alcoholics to pretend that having 2 drinks/night is alcoholism. Alcoholism has a clinical definition -- no matter how much you like those two drinks, it does not make you an alcoholic. Get back to me when your loved one is literally falling over drunk in their puke; still drunk the next morning; and you literally fear for their lives. Not all alcoholism is this severe all the time, but it is just stupid to act like two drinks is a "problem" any where close to the equivalent of true alcoholism, the kind that obviously threatens your health, job, and relationships.
Pp, I don't think you're reading carefully what I and at least one other pp are saying. We're talking about whether someone who has two to three drinks a day has to have it. People who can take it or leave it don't have a problem. But if you can't function without it, you have a problem. And I have actual loved ones who were and are alcoholics so I know what I'm talking about. You're not the only one who has been through this.

If you want to argue that you have suffered more than I because your alcoholic was falling over drunk in their own puke, that's fine with me. I'm guessing that you had it worse just based on this statement. But I watched my mom go off into her old age fuzzy-headed and self-medicating her anxiety and obsessing about her drink quotient when she could have been clear-minded and living a much fuller and rich life. You want to say she wasn't a real alcoholic - fine. But she had a problem that made her old age much worse than it should have been and she would have been a lot better off if she had quit drinking.


New poster. Two drinks a night ruined her old age????? Fuzzy-headed and self-medicating? On two drinks?

My grandmother had her doctor write her a prescription for two glasses of red wine at dinner every night at her retirement home. She went into her old age smiling broadly, as happy as a clam. She had a good, long, happy life and loved her two glasses of wine.

This is a far cry from the PP's experience.
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2013 17:39     Subject: Re:My DH has 2-3 drinks per night - is he an alcoholic?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:17:37 you seem really defensive and hung up on the label. This is the deal: whether one glass or fifty, what defines an alcoholic is the need - or perceived need - to drink alcohol and the inability to control that urge. Sorry if this hits a nerve for you, but that's the reality.


I'm not defensive. I just think it is kind of clueless and offensive to people who have had loved ones who are actual alcoholics to pretend that having 2 drinks/night is alcoholism. Alcoholism has a clinical definition -- no matter how much you like those two drinks, it does not make you an alcoholic. Get back to me when your loved one is literally falling over drunk in their puke; still drunk the next morning; and you literally fear for their lives. Not all alcoholism is this severe all the time, but it is just stupid to act like two drinks is a "problem" any where close to the equivalent of true alcoholism, the kind that obviously threatens your health, job, and relationships.
Pp, I don't think you're reading carefully what I and at least one other pp are saying. We're talking about whether someone who has two to three drinks a day has to have it. People who can take it or leave it don't have a problem. But if you can't function without it, you have a problem. And I have actual loved ones who were and are alcoholics so I know what I'm talking about. You're not the only one who has been through this.

If you want to argue that you have suffered more than I because your alcoholic was falling over drunk in their own puke, that's fine with me. I'm guessing that you had it worse just based on this statement. But I watched my mom go off into her old age fuzzy-headed and self-medicating her anxiety and obsessing about her drink quotient when she could have been clear-minded and living a much fuller and rich life. You want to say she wasn't a real alcoholic - fine. But she had a problem that made her old age much worse than it should have been and she would have been a lot better off if she had quit drinking.
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2013 11:16     Subject: My DH has 2-3 drinks per night - is he an alcoholic?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Ok, I'm starting to think that other people's definitions of "2-3 drinks" must be very different from mine. In my world, one can have 2 - 3 drinks over the course of the night and never have your BAC rise significantly. I think the people here claiming 2 drinks = alcoholic must be talking about something very different, otherwise entire nations would be alcoholics. But if one drink = an entire wineglass full to the brim, then yes, having 2-3 of those could be problematic.


You would probably be surprised if you tested your BAC after 2-3 drinks - likely much higher than you think even if you aren't feeling any effects of the alcohol. Hence why one should never drink and drive, even if feeling sober.


Nope - a 160 lb man can have three drinks in an HOUR and still be under the legal limit. If he has 2-3 drinks over the course of an evening (including dinner) his BAC probably never rises above .02 - .04.

http://www.safety-devices.com/bac_chart.htm

Anonymous
Post 01/29/2013 11:15     Subject: My DH has 2-3 drinks per night - is he an alcoholic?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Ok, I'm starting to think that other people's definitions of "2-3 drinks" must be very different from mine. In my world, one can have 2 - 3 drinks over the course of the night and never have your BAC rise significantly. I think the people here claiming 2 drinks = alcoholic must be talking about something very different, otherwise entire nations would be alcoholics. But if one drink = an entire wineglass full to the brim, then yes, having 2-3 of those could be problematic.


You would probably be surprised if you tested your BAC after 2-3 drinks - likely much higher than you think even if you aren't feeling any effects of the alcohol. Hence why one should never drink and drive, even if feeling sober.


If an average man of 185 lbs in average shape had 2-3 drinks over the course of the night (the "night" assumed to be 3+ hours) his BAC would not be over the legal limit to drive.
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2013 11:12     Subject: My DH has 2-3 drinks per night - is he an alcoholic?
Anonymous wrote:functioning alcoholics have 2-3 drinks a night.

you can have functioning crack heads too


Please show me a functioning crack head.
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2013 11:11     Subject: My DH has 2-3 drinks per night - is he an alcoholic?
Anonymous wrote:Ok, I'm starting to think that other people's definitions of "2-3 drinks" must be very different from mine. In my world, one can have 2 - 3 drinks over the course of the night and never have your BAC rise significantly. I think the people here claiming 2 drinks = alcoholic must be talking about something very different, otherwise entire nations would be alcoholics. But if one drink = an entire wineglass full to the brim, then yes, having 2-3 of those could be problematic.


You would probably be surprised if you tested your BAC after 2-3 drinks - likely much higher than you think even if you aren't feeling any effects of the alcohol. Hence why one should never drink and drive, even if feeling sober.
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2013 11:06     Subject: My DH has 2-3 drinks per night - is he an alcoholic?
Ah, here is a sensible view: having multiple drinks a day (more than 4 at one time for a man) may lead to increased risk of alcoholism, but it is not itself alcoholism:

http://consults.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/05/13/does-a-few-drinks-a-day-make-you-an-alcoholic/

If the OP's husband is really only having 2-3 drinks, then he barely even rises above the recommended guidelines (14 total/week, no more than 4 at once).


Anonymous
Post 01/29/2013 11:02     Subject: My DH has 2-3 drinks per night - is he an alcoholic?
Ok, I'm starting to think that other people's definitions of "2-3 drinks" must be very different from mine. In my world, one can have 2 - 3 drinks over the course of the night and never have your BAC rise significantly. I think the people here claiming 2 drinks = alcoholic must be talking about something very different, otherwise entire nations would be alcoholics. But if one drink = an entire wineglass full to the brim, then yes, having 2-3 of those could be problematic.
Anonymous
Post 01/29/2013 10:51     Subject: My DH has 2-3 drinks per night - is he an alcoholic?
functioning alcoholics have 2-3 drinks a night.

you can have functioning crack heads too