Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are so freaking delusional. DH doesn't say anything about your weight because he knows you would skin him alive. A husband asking for a blue cheese salad once a week or suggesting walks after dinner isn't gonna help you drop 20lbs. That takes hard work and sacrifice motivated from within. If you truly care, then do it. If you don't have it in you, fine, but don't fool yourself thinking DH doesn't care.

+1000000000

Agree with this! Unless your DH dated fat women in the past, he probably does care but just can't say anything.

Mine doesn't say anything unprompted but sure does let it fly if I mention something...usually something along the lines of "time to hit the gym!"

This is a tough one. Over 10 plus years, I gained 25-30 pounds, to 185 or so. I am now down to 155 or so. For all those who work out, one loses weight thru diet, not exercise. Exercise, of course, is good in and of itself, and helps on the margin. I have dramatically altered what I eat and how much I eat. I regularly get compliments from friends. My wife is a foodie, and she has gained 30 lbs. She complains sometimes about her own weight, and has a lost a few pounds. But her complete lack of discipline and her obsession with good makes it difficult, if not impossible. I stay out of it, but it bothers me.

Anonymous wrote:Hi all:

My wife has gained 50 lbs since we were married. She was 130 then, 180 now, 22 years later. I didn't really care when she was fluctuating when she was having babies because I expected weight gain then. We are now in our early 50s and she has really put on weight around her middle. I love her, but I do not love what she has done to her body. She complains about her weight, I try to help with support, advice, asking her to come for walks with me, but I don't understand why she just doesn't bear down and work on her weight.

I weigh just what I did when we were married. I had gained 20 pounds, but lost it when it started affecting my health, so I believe my wife should be able to do the same.

I like being active, and can't do that with my wife much any more. I see us drifting apart and don't want that. I want the lady I married.

What do I do?

This is why I just laugh when women complain about their beer-gutted, skid-marked husbands. Shouldn't they love him for more than the new skidmarks? If the answer is no, then loving your fat wife more than her weight is also not acceptable.

Hi all:

My wife has gained 50 lbs since we were married. She was 130 then, 180 now, 22 years later. I didn't really care when she was fluctuating when she was having babies because I expected weight gain then. We are now in our early 50s and she has really put on weight around her middle. I love her, but I do not love what she has done to her body. She complains about her weight, I try to help with support, advice, asking her to come for walks with me, but I don't understand why she just doesn't bear down and work on her weight.

I weigh just what I did when we were married. I had gained 20 pounds, but lost it when it started affecting my health, so I believe my wife should be able to do the same.

I like being active, and can't do that with my wife much any more. I see us drifting apart and don't want that. I want the lady I married.

What do I do?

I have been through Infertility treatments and thyroid issues and have gained significant weight (along with still carrying the baby weight from our now 6 month old). We are back trying another round of IVF and my thyroid is still causing issues resulting in yet more weight gain (probably 50 pounds in 2 years). I hate how I look and I am trying but I clearly have to try harder (I am not kidding myself... a dog walk won't take this weight off and this last winter didn't help me either).

I tell my husband all the time I need to lose weight and he tells me that he loves me how I am and that I don't need to do this for him. I truly do believe him because not all men require stick thin girls and can be attracted to me because of who I am and not because I fit in size 4 jeans. I am beyond glad that I don't have one of these husbands that would make such horrible comments about weight because that would be counter productive to weight loss (stress and depression don't motivate people).

I gained 5 lbs over this horrible winter and my partner couldn't keep his hands off my ass. I lost 7 lbs within the last month, and he is grumbling.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are so freaking delusional. DH doesn't say anything about your weight because he knows you would skin him alive. A husband asking for a blue cheese salad once a week or suggesting walks after dinner isn't gonna help you drop 20lbs. That takes hard work and sacrifice motivated from within. If you truly care, then do it. If you don't have it in you, fine, but don't fool yourself thinking DH doesn't care.

You're an asshole and I pity your wife. My DH loves me and truly does not care that pregnancies and years of hard work have caused me to gain some weight. Yes, there are good kind men and I'm married to one.

Yeah, but he does care, just not sayin.

Oh man. I've always been very athletic and just recently put on a lot of weight. I am working hard to lose it and am making great progress but am kinda stuck. It's not going anywhere anymore. My husband never commented on my weight - he always comments on the way I look. How sexy my thighs are. How horny my boobs make him XD That kind of stuff. He loves my body and is attracted to me no matter what - I can see that with my own two eyes but I still don't believe it >.> I don't know. I think it's an issue I have with myself. Not one he has with me.

Let's lose it together. He's so great, he's almost perfect.

Anonymous wrote:People are so freaking delusional. DH doesn't say anything about your weight because he knows you would skin him alive. A husband asking for a blue cheese salad once a week or suggesting walks after dinner isn't gonna help you drop 20lbs. That takes hard work and sacrifice motivated from within. If you truly care, then do it. If you don't have it in you, fine, but don't fool yourself thinking DH doesn't care.

You're an asshole and I pity your wife. My DH loves me and truly does not care that pregnancies and years of hard work have caused me to gain some weight. Yes, there are good kind men and I'm married to one.

Anonymous wrote:People are so freaking delusional. DH doesn't say anything about your weight because he knows you would skin him alive. A husband asking for a blue cheese salad once a week or suggesting walks after dinner isn't gonna help you drop 20lbs. That takes hard work and sacrifice motivated from within. If you truly care, then do it. If you don't have it in you, fine, but don't fool yourself thinking DH doesn't care.

Point. I WOULD kill him if he ever said anything. But again, I can't stand the thought of getting overweight so I workout about 10 hours a week.

Anonymous wrote:People are so freaking delusional. DH doesn't say anything about your weight because he knows you would skin him alive. A husband asking for a blue cheese salad once a week or suggesting walks after dinner isn't gonna help you drop 20lbs. That takes hard work and sacrifice motivated from within. If you truly care, then do it. If you don't have it in you, fine, but don't fool yourself thinking DH doesn't care.

+1000000000

People are so freaking delusional. DH doesn't say anything about your weight because he knows you would skin him alive. A husband asking for a blue cheese salad once a week or suggesting walks after dinner isn't gonna help you drop 20lbs. That takes hard work and sacrifice motivated from within. If you truly care, then do it. If you don't have it in you, fine, but don't fool yourself thinking DH doesn't care.

To the man-

Please do not tell your wife you are not attracted to her because of her weight gain. Please use a more loving and gentle approach, after all she is your wife.

Can you say something like, "damn baby! remember that black dress! or those sexy red shorts you used to wear? You look so sexy in those. I would love it if you would wear those again for me!"

Then be her helper and do not order dessert, or ask for more bread. Maybe ask her for salads one night for dinner because you are really craving a blue cheese salad. Take a walk after dinner, suggesting you are bored at the tv. Then walk while holding her hand and be playful and suddenly race her to the stop sign. Not 5 miles (maybe later) but maybe a few just around the turn.

Or tell her you want to lose 5-10 pounds because you want to look good for her and ask if she will help you by not buying crap at the store and by making a few lighter fares for dinner or by packing your lunches with apples.

Then if she does lose weight, compliment her all the time when you see that she lost a few pounds. Grab hr ass, tell her she looks hot. By upping her self esteem and showing that you love her, it should motivate most women.
If you go about it a negative way, it will most likely backfire and she will resent you forever and you can kiss your marriage goodbye.