Anonymous wrote:I think what we're seeing here is that, basically, the sahms who make it back either had exceptional skills, connections, experience, or some other x-factor quality. So, maybe the best candidates are the sahms who made it back and are looking for the next job. That way you've got this extraordinary person who is now fully up to speed. Perhaps this is what is so threatening to the women (primarily here) who don't want to let these exceptional women back in the door.

I agree with your first sentence. It seems that people who were really fantabulous at what they did prior to leaving the workforce are still able to draw on their reputations and skills to return to the workforce. My guess is that it is also dependent on the field. I only know a few SAHMs. One is a real dynamo with a lot of project management and fundraising experience in the non-profit field. If no one wanted to hire her, she'd just start volunteering for a non-profit, and she'd be indispensible within a year, and could probably parlay that into a paying position. Another was in the sciences. She's been out for years, and has done nothing to stay current. In the sciences, that's pretty much akin to flushing your advanced degrees down the toilet.

When I was hiring in BIGLAW, my favorite employees were single mothers, I knew they were dedicated to jobs because they needed money, they needed a job, they were more focused, reliable, could multitask and needed to be efficient, would be more productive during the workday because they had to be done at a certain time because no one else was picking up their kid. Single mothers and mothers in general seemed more committed to the jobs as careers, I didnt want to be rehiring and retraining every few years. Single mothers were my favorite employees!

My worst bosses however were women, particularly mothers. It is so true women are their worst enemy, they are queen bee/catty/high school at work. I had female bosses tell me I should wear glasses to make me less attractive bc she said my level of attractiveness was unprofessional (not my clothes, I am a conservative dresser, she actually meant my face), another say my slight southern accent and the fact I went to UVA made people think I was a redneck, and another allude to the fact the only reason a male client agreed to hire us was because he wanted to "make babies with me". Yes, all said by BIGLAW female partners. Working for men, in particular older dads, night and day. All were supportive of my starting a family, taking extended maternity leave, and then taking a break for a few years when DC had some health issues.

I wish women would "lean in" to help other women, to consider a sisterhood, that when one gets ahead we all get ahead. A SAHM in many ways is like a general contractor, or manager, or financial director, multitasking,managing several different people, needs, etc. I don't understand why some people don't see the value in that.

Anonymous wrote:I'm seeing 2 types of moms - ones who never had much of a career to begin with and ones who are overly experienced with old skills. I feel a bit guilty that I'm totally putting these people at the bottom of my list. I much prefer males or young women with no resume gap.

God I am so glad the person who hired me after staying at home for almost 9 years was a man!

I did keep up my skills with volunteer work in my field (not PTA), but I have to think he hired me b/c I had great references, we know a lot of the same people, my past work holds up well and he just thought I would be a good fit.

I think it's ridiculous to favor younger women just b/c they don't have a resume gap. The younger people I work with are nice, but boy, does their youth show in terms of judgement calls and general knowledge about the world, and about our field.

I think what we're seeing here is that, basically, the sahms who make it back either had exceptional skills, connections, experience, or some other x-factor quality. So, maybe the best candidates are the sahms who made it back and are looking for the next job. That way you've got this extraordinary person who is now fully up to speed. Perhaps this is what is so threatening to the women (primarily here) who don't want to let these exceptional women back in the door.