Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just turned 42 (female) and this thread is terrifying me. Are you saying I'm going to lose interest in sex within the next ten years??

Right now I'm single and have no one to have sex with - I could easily find someone I'm sure to sleep with casually (plenty of options there), but I only like to have sex with men I really like and am in a monogamous relationship with and I'm not right now. Not having anyone to sleep with is driving me insane. Now I'm worried I'm wasting my last years.....

Wanting and having are two different things. You have the advantage of not having to compromise with someone, and never having to ask permission. No step kids, horrible in-laws, ex wives, husband supporting another family, or a guy that expects you to preform when you don't want to.

Everyone is different. Most women I know it often comes down to loss of attraction, or long term resentments. Many I know in their 40's, 50's, and 60's have to stay married because of finances or retirement. A small percentage are happily married. Finding a decent guy is very difficult. As you see from this thread there are creeps that will cheat, and only got married for the constant sex. Until their wives figure them out.

Nobody gets married JUST for sex. The jokes about the bride smiling because she just gave her last BJ are well known to young men. We get married (and risk the possibility of the sex drying up completely) because we love the women we marry. But sex isn't just a fringe benefit of marriage, it's one of the defining characteristics of marriage. Without sex, it's not a marriage. Exceptions such as illness, etc. that make sex difficult or impossible do not change this for the vast majority of couples who have no such issues. Yeah, it's "to have and to hold, for better or worse." When it's better you damn well need to have and hold or it WILL get worse.

Anonymous wrote:I just turned 42 (female) and this thread is terrifying me. Are you saying I'm going to lose interest in sex within the next ten years??

Right now I'm single and have no one to have sex with - I could easily find someone I'm sure to sleep with casually (plenty of options there), but I only like to have sex with men I really like and am in a monogamous relationship with and I'm not right now. Not having anyone to sleep with is driving me insane. Now I'm worried I'm wasting my last years.....

Wanting and having are two different things. You have the advantage of not having to compromise with someone, and never having to ask permission. No step kids, horrible in-laws, ex wives, husband supporting another family, or a guy that expects you to preform when you don't want to.

Everyone is different. Most women I know it often comes down to loss of attraction, or long term resentments. Many I know in their 40's, 50's, and 60's have to stay married because of finances or retirement. A small percentage are happily married. Finding a decent guy is very difficult. As you see from this thread there are creeps that will cheat, and only got married for the constant sex. Until their wives figure them out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I chose B, had a couple short term affairs when my wife lost interest in sex when the kids were young. Turned out to be the right choice, he libido came back slightly, mine has fallen as I have aged and we are settled back into a once a week routine. Would have hated to have broken up the family over this. Only so much solo action one can take before going crazy

Terrible. I feel sorry for your wife and hope she doesn't get sick. A cheater will always bail.

It's sad your wife is in a phony marriage and doesn't know it.

It's sad his wife chose to remain married to a man she had no interest in sex with.

Oh FFS, no one is "sad" in this marriage. We are a happy, intact family, and I am so sorry the world isn't so black and white or vindictive for your moral code. Our children are thriving despite the devil apparently infecting my moral compass. Your pearls are falling, you aren't clutching them tight enough.

You would think cheating is murder to some on this board, like cheating hasn't been around since forever.

One of the 10 commandments buddy. I do like how you admit you are a CHEATER.

Is "coveting" the same as fornicating? And what if the woman in question isn't my neighbor? I mean all of this is up for debate in determining the world's best selling fiction novel, aka, the bible.

If it was simply a lack of interest or desire on her part I'd find it elsewhere if we had kids at home. If I was an empty nester I'd move out. I recognize that PIV sex can become painful for many women at a certain age but there are other ways of having sex.

Anonymous wrote:I just turned 42 (female) and this thread is terrifying me. Are you saying I'm going to lose interest in sex within the next ten years??...

Don’t worry, you’ll only lose interest if you get married.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Working on C right now.

Ditto. Kids are never worth misery. They are better off with parents who moved on.

Definitely do NOT confront the issue and try to find out what's driving it. You might have to address your unattractive shortcomings. And no one wants to sleep with someone who has unattractive shortcomings 24/7 unless he is improving.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I chose B, had a couple short term affairs when my wife lost interest in sex when the kids were young. Turned out to be the right choice, he libido came back slightly, mine has fallen as I have aged and we are settled back into a once a week routine. Would have hated to have broken up the family over this. Only so much solo action one can take before going crazy

Terrible. I feel sorry for your wife and hope she doesn't get sick. A cheater will always bail.

It's sad your wife is in a phony marriage and doesn't know it.

It's sad his wife chose to remain married to a man she had no interest in sex with.

Oh FFS, no one is "sad" in this marriage. We are a happy, intact family, and I am so sorry the world isn't so black and white or vindictive for your moral code. Our children are thriving despite the devil apparently infecting my moral compass. Your pearls are falling, you aren't clutching them tight enough.

You would think cheating is murder to some on this board, like cheating hasn't been around since forever.

One of the 10 commandments buddy. I do like how you admit you are a CHEATER.

A religious zealot like you would know that 1 Corinthians 7:5 says "do not withhold sex"
So the wife committed the first sin that destroyed the marriage, so we can blame HER for forcing the husband to decide between 2 other "sins" divorce or adultery

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I chose B, had a couple short term affairs when my wife lost interest in sex when the kids were young. Turned out to be the right choice, he libido came back slightly, mine has fallen as I have aged and we are settled back into a once a week routine. Would have hated to have broken up the family over this. Only so much solo action one can take before going crazy

Terrible. I feel sorry for your wife and hope she doesn't get sick. A cheater will always bail.

It's sad your wife is in a phony marriage and doesn't know it.

It's sad his wife chose to remain married to a man she had no interest in sex with.

Oh FFS, no one is "sad" in this marriage. We are a happy, intact family, and I am so sorry the world isn't so black and white or vindictive for your moral code. Our children are thriving despite the devil apparently infecting my moral compass. Your pearls are falling, you aren't clutching them tight enough.

You would think cheating is murder to some on this board, like cheating hasn't been around since forever.

One of the 10 commandments buddy. I do like how you admit you are a CHEATER.

Anonymous wrote:My ex-wife stopped having sex with me, so I had affairs and eventually fessed up to it. Went our separate ways.

Did you confess the affairs with the intention of coming clean and starting afresh with her, or as an introduction to the topic of breaking up? Did she decide to leave you because of the affairs or was it mutual?

Anonymous wrote:I just turned 42 (female) and this thread is terrifying me. Are you saying I'm going to lose interest in sex within the next ten years??

Right now I'm single and have no one to have sex with - I could easily find someone I'm sure to sleep with casually (plenty of options there), but I only like to have sex with men I really like and am in a monogamous relationship with and I'm not right now. Not having anyone to sleep with is driving me insane. Now I'm worried I'm wasting my last years.....

Yes you are in terms of sex. You are approaching a cliff and when you go over it.

My ex-wife stopped having sex with me, so I had affairs and eventually fessed up to it. Went our separate ways.

FFS, how about this: Talk to your spouse about what’s going on with him/her. It’s not rocket science, people!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
No there are not many 40-50 year women looking for sex. These women looking for other things. Sex really drops off to nothing for most women. It’s a combination of hormones and lack of use. What comes first who knows but the end result in the same. You wake up one day and realize you have not had sex for a year and you are okay with it.

I see this attitude here a lot and maybe it’s true but I don’t get it. Been married 15-ish years, we are both pushing 50 and while my drive may not be what it was there is just no way I see suddenly realizing we haven’t had sex for over a year. I notice when it’s been IDK maybe 4-5 days. Admittedly my H probably notices when it’s been 2 days, but still I think we do alright and I just don’t get this - absent other problems/issues in a marriage, that is, which I’m guessing usually must be the case otherwise I really don’t get it. If I found myself in that situation I’d want to talk about it and try to figure out the reason and hopefully fix it.

Because once menopause hits and your hormones are gone, things are very, very different.

Men don’t get menopause, so no: things are not very different at all.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I chose B, had a couple short term affairs when my wife lost interest in sex when the kids were young. Turned out to be the right choice, he libido came back slightly, mine has fallen as I have aged and we are settled back into a once a week routine. Would have hated to have broken up the family over this. Only so much solo action one can take before going crazy

Terrible. I feel sorry for your wife and hope she doesn't get sick. A cheater will always bail.

It's sad your wife is in a phony marriage and doesn't know it.

It's sad his wife chose to remain married to a man she had no interest in sex with.

Oh FFS, no one is "sad" in this marriage. We are a happy, intact family, and I am so sorry the world isn't so black and white or vindictive for your moral code. Our children are thriving despite the devil apparently infecting my moral compass. Your pearls are falling, you aren't clutching them tight enough.

You would think cheating is murder to some on this board, like cheating hasn't been around since forever.

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