Anonymous wrote:I know a guy who took 6 years to get his ph.d. and he was mooching off his wife's parents the whole time. literally lived in a resort area.

If he finished his Ph.D. in six years he is my hero. That is lightning fast to finish a Ph.D. Under your rules I was technically "mooching" off my husband for eight years.

OP, you are not missing anything. I have known trust fund babies who have absolutely NO concept. I'm surprised they can tie their own shoes.

Man I wish my parents would give me money! To those whose parents do, that's cool.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm still confused about the hostility. Altogether, we get about $100K from both sets of parents each year. When our parents pass away, me and my sibling will inherit their estate anyway. So they are giving some of it to us now. Should we not inherit their estate?

How about
One parent passes away
Surviving parent remarries

You inherit nothing.....

Not impossible

love this!

May it be this way for many on this board.

Love this? What kind of deluded person writes that? You are an asshole rich or poor. Your nastiness is evident through your post.

Is that really the worst case scenario for you?
Can you not imagine anything more terrible?

Just think, those living off their parents wealth would stand in the way of widowed parents finding new love.
After all they have done for you, you will not let them be happy in the last few years of life that they have to live.
My grandmother got a new love when she was 75. She had been widowed for about 10 years before that. The relationship gave her joy and compaionship.
My plan is to do the same, when I am her age.

So call me in 40 years time if you do not have a hearing aid and can still drive

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't have any respect for grown adults who gladly let their parents support them. Your kids are entitled to the lifestyle YOU can provide for them, as their parents, not what their grandparents can afford. Grandparents love being generous to their grandchildren, but at a certain point, you're just taking advantage of their generosity. Have a little self respect and stop letting your mom clothe you and your kids when you're, in theory, a grown ass person who can do it yourself.

The people who you "don't respect" do not care one single iota about what you think of their lifestyle. You are literally not even on their radar. So if it makes you feel better to be judgy, have at it, but in the long term I think it actually makes you feel worse. And it makes you look worse to others too. You may really truly not be jealous and bitter, but I can 100% assure you that you come off that way, and it's not flattering.

I don't care how it makes me come across. Just as they don't care an iota what I think of their lifestyle, I don't care an iota what they think of me. Their opinion is not one I would value. I care what very few, certain people think of me. The spoiled assholes who live off their parents yet love to look down on those who have less, even though they actually worked and earned for the "less" they have are not in that category, trust me.

Acutally it makes you come off that way to everybody, not just spoiled rich assholes. My parents are broke and your posts still read bitter bitter bitter to me. I really don't care how much money my friends have or where it came from but I would never surround myself with the kind of negativity that you project (whether you intend to or not).

Again, I don't care. This is negativity I only project when directly asked a question about this situation, as it's not as though I go around in my daily life talking about this. Nobody I know talks about money period, and I certainly am not friendly with anyone who lives off their parents. But I have known people who do and no, I don't have any respect for someone who basically lives off an allowance their parents give them when they're 40. If it's bitter negativity to look down on people that don't have anymore financial independence than a 15 year old, so be it!

Anonymous wrote:To answer 23:33:

Big checks hover around $50k per year from each. They also contribute max to our 529 plans so we don't actually save for our kids' college funds. Smaller checks are $5k for birthdays, Christmas, etc.

23:33 here. Thanks for being so candid!
I really think that is just nice and smart estate planning on your parents' part.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm still confused about the hostility. Altogether, we get about $100K from both sets of parents each year. When our parents pass away, me and my sibling will inherit their estate anyway. So they are giving some of it to us now. Should we not inherit their estate?

How about
One parent passes away
Surviving parent remarries

You inherit nothing.....

Not impossible

Happens all the time and the children end up fighting spouse in court.

Well, I know a guy who's been mooching off of his wife for the 20+ yrs they were married supposedly finishing up his PhD. Never finished. What else is new.

I know a guy who took 6 years to get his ph.d. and he was mooching off his wife's parents the whole time. literally lived in a resort area.

My parents have helped us, and I'm very, very grateful. My dad is an immigrant, very much the stereotype who came here with nothing, worked very hard (military, odd jobs, then college), and went for every opportunity presented to him. My mom was raised by parents who were products of the depression, and were very careful with money as a result. My parents did not have a lot of money while I was growing up - I honestly did not realize this until after high school, because they managed their resources so well (negotiated for a nice house, were very frugal with expenses and cars, etc). My dad had a successful first career in government - working his way up from the bottom - that turned into a very lucrative second career in private industry when I was in my 20s. They are retired and will have no financial concerns - I will never have to worry about them, which is a blessing. My dad frequently talks about how he wishes he had had money when he was younger - that there were so many things he would have done, interests he would have pursued, had he had the resources. My parents decided several years ago that they would prefer to give away their money now rather than wait to pass along an estate when they die - people in my family live a long, long time (100+ isn't unheard of), and they thought it was silly that it would convey to me and my siblings when we potentially would be in our 60s or 70s. So they have given to organizations they feel strongly about, and have been very generous to family. Have I accepted what they've provided? Heck yeah, and without guilt. DH and I both work very hard, but we're not in fields that will give us a large financial cushion. We would have been fine without their support, but the extra money has allowed us to pay off our house early, make some expenses more manageable, and, most importantly, worry less about the future. And again, for all of this, I'm so, so grateful. I hope that DH and I will have managed this legacy well enough that we'll be in a position to help out our children in a similar way when they're grown.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm still confused about the hostility. Altogether, we get about $100K from both sets of parents each year. When our parents pass away, me and my sibling will inherit their estate anyway. So they are giving some of it to us now. Should we not inherit their estate?

How about
One parent passes away
Surviving parent remarries

You inherit nothing.....

Not impossible

love this!

May it be this way for many on this board.

Love this? What kind of deluded person writes that? You are an asshole rich or poor. Your nastiness is evident through your post.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:nothing wrong with helping family.

You mean enabling.

really? my grandparents helped my parents with tuition and my parents help us. investing in the future, paying it forward -- it's definitely not enabling.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm still confused about the hostility. Altogether, we get about $100K from both sets of parents each year. When our parents pass away, me and my sibling will inherit their estate anyway. So they are giving some of it to us now. Should we not inherit their estate?

How about
One parent passes away
Surviving parent remarries

You inherit nothing.....

Not impossible

love this!

May it be this way for many on this board.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't have any respect for grown adults who gladly let their parents support them. Your kids are entitled to the lifestyle YOU can provide for them, as their parents, not what their grandparents can afford. Grandparents love being generous to their grandchildren, but at a certain point, you're just taking advantage of their generosity. Have a little self respect and stop letting your mom clothe you and your kids when you're, in theory, a grown ass person who can do it yourself.

The people who you "don't respect" do not care one single iota about what you think of their lifestyle. You are literally not even on their radar. So if it makes you feel better to be judgy, have at it, but in the long term I think it actually makes you feel worse. And it makes you look worse to others too. You may really truly not be jealous and bitter, but I can 100% assure you that you come off that way, and it's not flattering.

I don't care how it makes me come across. Just as they don't care an iota what I think of their lifestyle, I don't care an iota what they think of me. Their opinion is not one I would value. I care what very few, certain people think of me. The spoiled assholes who live off their parents yet love to look down on those who have less, even though they actually worked and earned for the "less" they have are not in that category, trust me.

Acutally it makes you come off that way to everybody, not just spoiled rich assholes. My parents are broke and your posts still read bitter bitter bitter to me. I really don't care how much money my friends have or where it came from but I would never surround myself with the kind of negativity that you project (whether you intend to or not).