This has been really helpful for me. I am pregnant with my second, and our combined salaries won't cover both daycare costs and rent. My husband has a PT job, and if he doesn't find a full time job by the time the 2nd baby needs childcare, he's just going to quit and stay home full time (not ideal for his career, but what are you gonna do?). So it would just be entirely on my $70K salary. We actually currently live a very frugal lifestyle, but we do splurge on monthly cleaners and eating out once a week, so I feel good that if we buckle down a bit more, we'll be just fine!

my fiance and I are in our late 20's/early 30's and both originated from the group-house-art-school-coffee-shop-as-career way of living, which I think is probably much, much different from those who live in DC working in law/government/politics and have established careers and a more financially-cushy/secure way of life. But it goes to show that different lifestyles have different priorities and what constitutes "getting by" for some people is actually a perfectly happy and manageable way of life for others. It really is a matter of individual circumstance, and individual priorities.

we started our family working at coffee shops and doggie daycares. We weren't able to make it work financially for me to go BACK to work so we decided I'd stay at home for a year (so, yes, our situation is temporary, which does make a difference). My fiance makes about $32k a year at his main job, and works two weekend shifts at a side job. The money he makes at his side job goes to pay student loans/cheap lunches out during the week.

We were lucky to find a $1,400/mo 1.5 bedroom apartment in a great neighborhood convenient to groceries, buses, metro, and Target. We pay about $200/mo for utilities and cell phones/internet and don't have cable (we pay for Netflix and Hulu streaming). We try not to go on outings that cost money, but for us, a fun outing is driving out to the 'burbs and browsing thrift stores or going to parks, anyway. We recently acquired an old paid-off car from his parents so that'll be some additional money to pay for insurance but I'm not sure how much that'll be yet. Myself and the baby have Medicaid (had to get it because my private BCBS insurance did not cover pregnancy) but the baby is on his father's insurance and I still pay for my BCBS until we get married this summer, so we use the paid-for insurance for regular doctor's appointments and have the Medicaid in case of emergencies. We spend about $300-400 a month on groceries - buying organic meat and produce weekly from the farmer's market and shopping sales at the grocery stores/shopping at the cheap local bodegas for the other staples. We qualify for WIC but opted not to use it. We meal plan and I cook everything from scratch and we use/eat all the leftovers in subsequent meals or lunches. The baby is just starting to really get into solids, but I'm making all of his foods from what we usually have on hand anyway. We each get one take-out "point" a month for when we don't want to cook, and we usually use that "point" at our favorite local taco place where it costs less than $20 for both of us to be stuffed full of deliciousness. We cloth diaper and have a free laundry facility in our apartment so we don't spend any money on that. Our incidentals/toiletries are included in our grocery budget but since we're dirty hippies we use mostly homemade cleaners and not much product on our bodies. We don't go on "real" vacation - but we do visit our families (2 hours away) frequently throughout the year, and that only costs the amount of gas.

We have about $14k in savings which is not a LOT and we are not contributing to it currently, but we are also not taking from it, which is the important part.

basically, for us, we DON'T feel like we're missing out on life's little luxuries because we can't afford to have a date night, or hire a housecleaner, or pick up a $5 latte on a whim. sure, would it be TOTALLY AWESOME to be able to do that? yes, and i was in fact lamenting at target the other day when i was debating whether or not i should treat myself to a $12 sunhat i've been eyeing all spring since it was finally on sale, the fact that pre-pregnancy i used to be able to plop a bunch of money into savings and then still buy whatever i wanted and still have money left at the end of the month, and not have to justify a measly twelve dollars. but right now we are truly happy buying a $12 four-pack of dogfish head beer and cooking a "fancy" dinner of roast chicken and potatoes and paying $3 to watch a new-ish movie on zune that feels like a big splurge to us.

so, just some perspective that not being able to throw money around does not necessarily make for a "miserable existence". yes, i wish we had more, and yes, it is hard to have a social life in this city without extra spending money, but it is perfectly doable to live a happy life here without it.

(i just read over what i wrote & realized i might come off as a big "crunchy" snob, but i really didnt mean that. just wanted to point out the ways we make our lifestyle work with less money after one of the previous posters said that it would be a miserable existence with no dinners out and no fun activities)

I make just over $47K with one child.

My monthly breakdown:
$230 Insurance (for me and DC, includes dental, health, life, LTD)
$185 Retirement (401K, matched at 100%)
$250 Savings
$1550 Rent (2bd in a transitional neighborhood in DC, Metro-accessible with W&D in unit)
$300 Afterschool care
$300 Groceries
$140 Utilities (Electric, internet and water)
$40 Metro (I get $125/mo in transportation benefits)
$10 Cell phone (share a family plan with my parents, no smartphone)
$120 Debt payments (one medical bill and student loans)
$100 Fun money, for going out, babysitters, clothing, etc.

This leaves me with a cushion of about $50/mo, which I add to savings for unexpected things like Dr visits and school fees.
I have $6000 in retirement, $1500 in savings. Just finished paying off about $15K worth of debt. No credit cards, no car.
I'm supposed to get child support and medical support of $500/mo, but see that about 50% of the time. That goes straight to savings, it previously went to debt (which was from the marriage anyway).

We have a pretty good quality of life. DC and I don't lack for anything, we splurge occasionally and fly down to FL to see family 2x/yr or so. It's tight, but it works.

If I made $60K, I'd be ecstatic. Actually, if I saw child support on a regular basis, I'd be thrilled. I'd bump up my savings and be able to enroll DC in something fun on the weekends!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is only 2 of us but I make just under 36k. Here is our breakdown.

$920-rent (we live in a one bedroom. a two bedroom will cost 1050 in our apartment)
$1035 - preschool/child care for 1 (I could go cheaper here)
$300 - food
$100 - utilities
$ 98- car insurance and rental
$ 200 - gas/parking/metro

we have about 275 a month to spend on whatever comes up.

my childs dad pays his health insurance and I dont have any.

Sounds like you're doing a great job with what you have. Kudos to you!

Of course she gets kudos from the DCUM chorus because she isn't getting any public assistance. I wish you could get some assistance!

I'm the "kudos" poster. I have nothing against public assistance! Just expressing my support for this woman. I posted earlier about my family situation - we make $63K, so we're not exactly the "typical" dcumers.

Check out www.benefits.gov for help from state and national programs

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

We make approx $180K and take home $8600 a month - we have enough for our expenses but not much to save. Here's a breakdown.

$2260 - mortgage
$2260 - child care for 2
$1000 - student loans (should go down to $800 next month)
$1000 - food (with coupons)
$ 500 - utilities (power, gas, cable/internet, cell phones)
$ 185 - life insurances
$ 135 - car insurance (2 cars)
$ 200 - gas/parking/metro (driving to/from downtown from SS daily)
$ 300 - housekeeper (my primary splurge but the stress she relives is priceless and marriage counseling would cost more)
$ 300 - charity
$ 100 - gym
$ 50 - dr/prescriptions

So that leaves approx $500 for clothing, weekend activities, car repairs, vacation savings, shopping, etc.

I am NOT complaining. I actually think we have a great life and are very lucky to have the things we have, but money does go pretty quickly.

I know people who make it work on much lower salaries and I think its incredible.

So, all of the bolded things are splurges. While I understand that keeping Kosher is more expensive, entertaining more than once per month is not a necessity. It's a splurge. By my estimate, you could probably save $500-1000 more per month if you chose to. That you think those are necessities that are must haves to avoid saving anything for emergencies, life happens or college funds is a choice you make that many of us would not. You have the disposable income to spend how you want it, but you should not be counting yourself as struggling to get by on $180K. As you note, you are living pretty well.

The original PP said she was struggling to get by on $180K and essentially living paycheck to paycheck. That's just ridiculous.

I dont count ourselves as struggling. We have everything we need and most things we want and I wasnt the original $180K PP.

I dont consider charity to be a splurge. Also, hosting meals 2-4x per month means that we get invited out 2-4x per month, so thats 2-4 less meals that we need to make - although we could save by not hosting, its not that much of a savings and would significantly impact our social life and our quality of life.

So the most we could save is approx $300 a month (gym and maybe a couple hundred on groceries) and thankfully we dont have to do that at this point. We are not saving for college, as we are paying childcare now and will continue paying for private school as our kids get older and when they go to college, we will hopefully have the same monthly amount to contribute towards college tuition, and maybe more, assuming our salaries increase.

I think that's insane. What happens if your salaries don't increase? What happens if say, your husband has a heart attack or catastrophic stroke and is forced to retire early? Your kids are doubly fucked then: You haven't saved a cent, and you'll probably make too much for them to qualify for aid. As much money as you and your husband are bringing in you SHOULD be saving. You don't know what tomorrow will bring, if it comes for you at all.

We have disability insurance (part of the $185 for life insurance) and I work for the fed gov, so my job is pretty safe/stable. If we continue to make our current salaries, we can contribute towards college. If we have less money, we'll qualify for aid. Our priority is our current quality of life, which is comfortable but not excessive, over what may or may not happen in the future. Like you said, we dont know what tomorrow will bring.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It's doable, although it would be tight.

You likely wouldn't have health insurance for the adults, eat out, or other luxuries, but you could cover the basics.

I am still shocked that people consider health insurance a luxury. People are congratulating the previous poster on making it work on 36k but in reality she isn't. She is one accident away from debt up to her eyeballs. I want to be clear that I am not in any way criticizing her choices. She is obviously on top of things and her child sounds well provided for. I just think it is a shame that health insurance isn't a basic. I was stressed and worried all the time for the brief period during and after college when I didn't have health insurance and I can only imagine how that stress would have been increased if I had someone else to provide for.

Agree with you about the health insurance. It is shameful that families cannot count on having health insurance. It is too important an item to be considered a luxury, and private policies cost an arm and a leg. We used to have to buy our own, and it cost our family 22k/yr for very basic coverage. That's ridiculous for someone who makes 55k/yr!

Our family of 4 survives on about this amount (closer to 60-65k).

Perhaps it's because we live in a less expensive neighborhood (Montgomery County), but we may $1800/month for home. We have two cars, health insurance, student loans, cell phones, a gym membership, food, and part-time preschool for one child. Other than that, we try to save as much as possible (not much). We are able to live comfortably and take a few smaller vacations every year.

It can be done.

And for what it's worth, staying home with the kids, breastfeeding, and using cloth diapers that were past down to us from friends, have really saved us money in the infant phase. (No controversy implied, I'm just stating what works for us.)

Anonymous wrote:It's doable, although it would be tight.

You likely wouldn't have health insurance for the adults, eat out, or other luxuries, but you could cover the basics.

I am still shocked that people consider health insurance a luxury. People are congratulating the previous poster on making it work on 36k but in reality she isn't. She is one accident away from debt up to her eyeballs. I want to be clear that I am not in any way criticizing her choices. She is obviously on top of things and her child sounds well provided for. I just think it is a shame that health insurance isn't a basic. I was stressed and worried all the time for the brief period during and after college when I didn't have health insurance and I can only imagine how that stress would have been increased if I had someone else to provide for.

Still ridiculous to read these posts. Especially those that have high 6 figure salaries. If you had bought a smaller, less expensive house, you would have more money. So it is not "tight" for you, but rather you made a choice. We made 51K for the last few years (no pay increases till this year) with one, then three children. We have no problems. We get no assistance. We live happily. We own a townhouse in NOVA (nice area) and have two cars. Our child goes to preschool and I SAH. It will be tight when our other two (twins) start preschool. We had savings before marriage that we have to count on sometimes. We have cable, cell phones and go out to eat. We host parties and go out on date nights. So, if we can do it, anyone can.

It's doable, although it would be tight.

There's "moderate income" housing very close to the Bethesda Metro, you have to be under 60% of the median income for the area which is around 64K for a family of 4. I'm sure they have a waiting list, but when you get to the top of the list it's $1309. Alternatively there are some 1BR + den you could make work if your kids were born after you moved in (I don't think they'd let you take 1 BR with 4 people). Living there you don't need a car, and you don't need daycare if one parent is at home. Or you could go over by Rock Creek Forest and pay about $1,500 for a 2BR, more annoying since you'd have to take a bus to the metro and things like grocery shopping become a pain.

You likely wouldn't have health insurance for the adults, eat out, or other luxuries, but you could cover the basics.

We do it on $60k but we rent a small apartment and aren't able to save much.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There is only 2 of us but I make just under 36k. Here is our breakdown.

$920-rent (we live in a one bedroom. a two bedroom will cost 1050 in our apartment)
$1035 - preschool/child care for 1 (I could go cheaper here)
$300 - food
$100 - utilities
$ 98- car insurance and rental
$ 200 - gas/parking/metro

we have about 275 a month to spend on whatever comes up.

my childs dad pays his health insurance and I dont have any.

Sounds like you're doing a great job with what you have. Kudos to you!

Of course she gets kudos from the DCUM chorus because she isn't getting any public assistance. I wish you could get some assistance!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

We make approx $180K and take home $8600 a month - we have enough for our expenses but not much to save. Here's a breakdown.

$2260 - mortgage
$2260 - child care for 2
$1000 - student loans (should go down to $800 next month)
$1000 - food (with coupons)
$ 500 - utilities (power, gas, cable/internet, cell phones)
$ 185 - life insurances
$ 135 - car insurance (2 cars)
$ 200 - gas/parking/metro (driving to/from downtown from SS daily)
$ 300 - housekeeper (my primary splurge but the stress she relives is priceless and marriage counseling would cost more)
$ 300 - charity
$ 100 - gym
$ 50 - dr/prescriptions

So that leaves approx $500 for clothing, weekend activities, car repairs, vacation savings, shopping, etc.

I am NOT complaining. I actually think we have a great life and are very lucky to have the things we have, but money does go pretty quickly.

I know people who make it work on much lower salaries and I think its incredible.

So, all of the bolded things are splurges. While I understand that keeping Kosher is more expensive, entertaining more than once per month is not a necessity. It's a splurge. By my estimate, you could probably save $500-1000 more per month if you chose to. That you think those are necessities that are must haves to avoid saving anything for emergencies, life happens or college funds is a choice you make that many of us would not. You have the disposable income to spend how you want it, but you should not be counting yourself as struggling to get by on $180K. As you note, you are living pretty well.

The original PP said she was struggling to get by on $180K and essentially living paycheck to paycheck. That's just ridiculous.

I dont count ourselves as struggling. We have everything we need and most things we want and I wasnt the original $180K PP.

I dont consider charity to be a splurge. Also, hosting meals 2-4x per month means that we get invited out 2-4x per month, so thats 2-4 less meals that we need to make - although we could save by not hosting, its not that much of a savings and would significantly impact our social life and our quality of life.

So the most we could save is approx $300 a month (gym and maybe a couple hundred on groceries) and thankfully we dont have to do that at this point. We are not saving for college, as we are paying childcare now and will continue paying for private school as our kids get older and when they go to college, we will hopefully have the same monthly amount to contribute towards college tuition, and maybe more, assuming our salaries increase.

I think that's insane. What happens if your salaries don't increase? What happens if say, your husband has a heart attack or catastrophic stroke and is forced to retire early? Your kids are doubly fucked then: You haven't saved a cent, and you'll probably make too much for them to qualify for aid. As much money as you and your husband are bringing in you SHOULD be saving. You don't know what tomorrow will bring, if it comes for you at all.

Anonymous wrote:There is only 2 of us but I make just under 36k. Here is our breakdown.

$920-rent (we live in a one bedroom. a two bedroom will cost 1050 in our apartment)
$1035 - preschool/child care for 1 (I could go cheaper here)
$300 - food
$100 - utilities
$ 98- car insurance and rental
$ 200 - gas/parking/metro

we have about 275 a month to spend on whatever comes up.

my childs dad pays his health insurance and I dont have any.

Congratulations. Making sure your child is well cared for as a single parent is extremely difficult. I think you're doing a good job under very difficult circumstances. Good luck to you.