Carolyn Hax tackled a similar issue in her column today.

Love this!!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OK, IT SEEMS THAT OP's POINT IS: don't assume that people are from overseas if they look Asian or any other group that American stereotypes force us to think of as foreign born.
You are right OP, at some point, we will grow up.
I am sorry about this. I have been guilty of that same mistake before and since then (2o years ago) I have never done anything like that.
FWIW I am foreign born and been a victim of other stereotypes myself.

Nobody thought the OP was from overseas they just didn't know what type of dish to sign him up for on diversity day Korean, Chinese, Thai, etc. He wanted to bring hamburgers because he is "American".

I'm the OP, and no, I wanted to bring a Coney Island hot dog, or at least a half smoke.

Ironically, when I went to grad school, they did some sort of International Cuisine pot luck where everyone had a booth for their home country. It was sponsored by the International MBA Student Association, to help show off the diversity of the school and how many different international students the school had (it was like 40% foreign students). Domestic students could "adopt" a country, particularly those with just a few students to help out with the cooking. I ended up picking Honduras because I had this killer Anchiote pork belly recipe (and they were cool enough to let me adopt them). I just remember after they announced taiwan, some yahoo commendeered the microphone and started screaming that Taiwan isn't a country and will be punished for being an outlaw province of China. A fistfight then errupted with our dean having to break it up.

I'll think I'll pass on the Diversity Dinner.

I speak with an accent and do not like being asked where I am from
If you do not even want to know my name, why do you want to know where I am from?

You people are WAY too sensitive - and probably haven't travelled very much outside the US.
If you have done a lot of international travel, you will probably agree that it is very interesting to know where someone is from (after knowing their name of course), because perhaps you have been fortunate enough to have visited their country and have great stories to share with them. --- imagine that!
When I am overseas, people always ask where I am from. It doesn't bother me because I know that they want to have a conversation. My spanish is terrible and is not my first language. However, they just want to find some common ground - perhaps they have been to DC, etc.

Don't assume the worst in people. The international glass is half full!

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Some PPs would be scary if they were diversity board members.

There are no Asians on the board of our Big 3 school, despite its claims of diversity, and I'm fairly sure there have never been any, ever. The school is comfortable with Black/White and Straight/Gay diversity, but not proactively seeking Asian and Hispanic leadership or administrative representation. So much for "progressive"--they are stuck in the 80s with regard to diversity.

Do you mean born in Asia? Ancestors from Asia but born in California? How do you know? Based on the color of their skin? Do you know Russia is part of Asia - so is Iran, Sri Lanka...

Anonymous wrote:OK, IT SEEMS THAT OP's POINT IS: don't assume that people are from overseas if they look Asian or any other group that American stereotypes force us to think of as foreign born.
You are right OP, at some point, we will grow up.
I am sorry about this. I have been guilty of that same mistake before and since then (2o years ago) I have never done anything like that.
FWIW I am foreign born and been a victim of other stereotypes myself.

Nobody thought the OP was from overseas they just didn't know what type of dish to sign him up for on diversity day Korean, Chinese, Thai, etc. He wanted to bring hamburgers because he is "American".

FWIW, according to a 2004 Census report, 69% of Asian people in the US are foreign born, and about 34% of Asian people in the US are not US citizens. So while it may be annoying and entirely inappropriate in many contexts for someone to assume an Asian person was originally from somewhere else, that assumption would be correct most of the time. http://www.census.gov/prod/2004pubs/censr-17.pdf

Anonymous wrote:How is it any different from asking someone where she grew up, what she does for a living, or whether she's read any good books lately? All those are arguably none of your business either.

It is not too different. Also, the frequency with which 'where are you from' comes up can be annoying. In my case, the conversation usually goes along these lines (with very little variation):
- Where are you from?
- DC
- Where are you originally / really from?
- Country X
- But you don't look like you come from country X, do you have a parent from a country Y? [said usually with an all knowing look] [feeling totally intelligent for having made such a profound guess]
- Yes, actually from country Z [Thinking: do you by any chance think you're the first one to make the assumption / ask the question? and wishing I had a penny for every single time I had this conversation, because i would not have to work for a living]

So, yes, may be to you this conversation is innocent question or neutral, to me, it's repetitive and irritating at best, and I do get touchy and when I am not in the 'right' mood, I just change the subject or simply say i have to go and end it there. I prefer not being asked these questions by strangers. I don't like talking about myself and giving personal information to people I have never met before and may be will never meet again. We can talk about the weather, we can talk about whatever the context that brought us together, but I do not like being grilled on where I am from.

Anonymous wrote:So PP do you rip up the census form when it comes because it says "white"? Just curious...

what does the census form have to do with anything? If you're trying to make a point you are really reaching...

OK, IT SEEMS THAT OP's POINT IS: don't assume that people are from overseas if they look Asian or any other group that American stereotypes force us to think of as foreign born.
You are right OP, at some point, we will grow up.
I am sorry about this. I have been guilty of that same mistake before and since then (2o years ago) I have never done anything like that.
FWIW I am foreign born and been a victim of other stereotypes myself.

Anonymous wrote:Some PPs would be scary if they were diversity board members.

There are no Asians on the board of our Big 3 school, despite its claims of diversity, and I'm fairly sure there have never been any, ever. The school is comfortable with Black/White and Straight/Gay diversity, but not proactively seeking Asian and Hispanic leadership or administrative representation. So much for "progressive"--they are stuck in the 80s with regard to diversity.

Laugh it off, people are so ignorant. Roll with the PC and the stereotype that they think you are smart and your child is smart. I'm sure these schools rarely turn down Asians.

Actually, I think that white people DO have to think about how they are being judged regarding their ethnicity, and if you think OP's situation was subtle, the so called "white" world is way more subtle (nothern European, Irish, WASP, etc.). Nothing as bad as what other races endure, to be sure. However, similar to the light-skinned black situation, whites are definitely judged based on appearance regarding what type of nationality they are, based on their looks. Hard to know until you walk in someone else's shoes I guess.

What's to be done about it? In both situations? Being offended doesn't help but is a natural response. But what is to be done to make things "better"?

Anonymous wrote:So PP do you rip up the census form when it comes because it says "white"? Just curious...

not "white" but "while people" is kind of funny since you are doing exactly what you say should not be done - which is judge a group.

It does not offend me, but it is a little do as a say not as I do.