I'm not sure I'd say I married "significantly" outside my background, but I was raised upper-middle class. I married working class. And by that I mean he has a blue-collar job, not that he owns a plumbing company or something. I went to college, DH didn't. It hasn't been much of an issue between us (though I suppose in the beginning we both made adjustments). It's a little more awkward with family, but they're all pretty accepting. DH has actually always made more money than I do

Anonymous wrote:OP, someone mentioned something quite interesting in this thread. Your kids will have a more well rounded background, and that is neat.
You know, the rich guys I dated all turned me off because I found talk about Daddy's money to be boyish and emasculating.
My background is upper middle class, DH is squarely middle class with less ambition. But I dated the very wealthy, but never men from lower income backgrounds.

I remember a guy in college who would walk around with his bank statements in his pockets and show it to people.
I value intelligence and class, and knowledge of foreign customs and ability to speak a foreign language, someone who can hold a conversation on something other than sport, or the boring affairs of politicians. Humility is a virtue

There is no greater sin, than being the son of someone with empty pockets

OP, someone mentioned something quite interesting in this thread. Your kids will have a more well rounded background, and that is neat.
You know, the rich guys I dated all turned me off because I found talk about Daddy's money to be boyish and emasculating.
My background is upper middle class, DH is squarely middle class with less ambition. But I dated the very wealthy, but never men from lower income backgrounds.

Anonymous wrote:Paris hilton is an example of a person without class, all she wants to make noise about is her money. Yet she is also an ex-porn star.
Can you imagine the daughter of an english lord doing what she did?

Yes. Don't expect much from descendants of criminals and thieves.

Funny enough, my family is really wealthy. I have two siblings, and I think all of us have managed to grow up with a sense that money isn't something to be valued, just something to make life easier. In short, I think we're pretty grounded and money wasn't something I was looking for in a spouse. I met and married a wonderful man who grew up in a very lower middle class family. Imagine my surprise to find out that, in fact, even though his mom didn't have a lot, his grandparents were loaded. My husband never viewed his grandparents' money as his own, and the whole family lived very much below their means. We actually inherited nearly two million dollars from his grandmother when she passed two years ago.

Paris hilton is an example of a person without class, all she wants to make noise about is her money. Yet she is also an ex-porn star.
Can you imagine the daughter of an english lord doing what she did?

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Anonymous wrote:Sounds to me OP like your families are both still middle class, albeit yours apparently has more money. but still, both middle class. remember, a back hoe driver probably makes more $$$ than you do. My aunt had a plumbing company and retired at 50 with millions in the bank. My mom's fiance is a former chicken farm inspector worth millions. You would never know, so don't always judge a book by it's cover - having a desk job isn't everything when it comes to money.

Class isn't just money. It's an intersection of education, money, personal wealth, and profession.

You can play with this calculator to see what I mean:

http://www.nytimes.com/packages/html/national/20050515_CLASS_GRAPHIC/index_01.html

Duh. But if you work, they work, and what separates you only has 1 or 2 commas, then as far as I'm concerned, you are in the same socio-economic class.

No. There are different kinds of work that divide people by class. A plumber is in a different social class than a professor, although good plumbers will undoubtedly earn more than most faculty.

Go tell my retired plumber aunt and uncle that - they are probably on their boat right now. Oh what, no, it's before noon, so my aunt is probably on the horn with her investment advisor asking her if she wants in on an IPO this morning. . . she usually stops trading for the day by noon. How often does your investment firm contact you and offer you IPO's? How many shares of berkshire/hathway do YOU own? Oh, but you are of a higher class than they are? You make me laugh. (eye roll). I'm a measely, average lawyer compared to them. They wipe their butts with my degrees.

To repeat: It's not just about money. There are different factors associated with class. No one is denying that your relatives have a lot of money. But, it is true that education and profession are important markers of class.

Not in countries that have social classes - did you attend social studies in grade school? Do you think being an air force pilot makes Prince William of a higher class? Perhaps in England being knighted or being a barrister is considered bringing one into a higher class, barely, but otherwise, sorry, having a grad degree won't cut it. And quite frankly, your obvious obsession with thinking you are such higher class than others, and talking about it now, is a reflection of you being of an average station. Persons truly of a higher social class do not discuss those things. It goes without saying.

Yes, I have a PhD in the Social Sciences so I am about as well qualified to define "class" as you can get. Your reasoning needs to be nuanced on several levels: 1) the United States does not have royalty, so class works differently in the US than in the UK; 2) Prince William is an anomaly by an measure--his being a pilot is almost a hobby, or a form of noblesse oblige; 3) I am assuming that since you have joined in the discussion that you are not a person "truly of a higher social class"?

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Anonymous wrote:Sounds to me OP like your families are both still middle class, albeit yours apparently has more money. but still, both middle class. remember, a back hoe driver probably makes more $$$ than you do. My aunt had a plumbing company and retired at 50 with millions in the bank. My mom's fiance is a former chicken farm inspector worth millions. You would never know, so don't always judge a book by it's cover - having a desk job isn't everything when it comes to money.

Class isn't just money. It's an intersection of education, money, personal wealth, and profession.

You can play with this calculator to see what I mean:

http://www.nytimes.com/packages/html/national/20050515_CLASS_GRAPHIC/index_01.html

Duh. But if you work, they work, and what separates you only has 1 or 2 commas, then as far as I'm concerned, you are in the same socio-economic class.

No. There are different kinds of work that divide people by class. A plumber is in a different social class than a professor, although good plumbers will undoubtedly earn more than most faculty.

Go tell my retired plumber aunt and uncle that - they are probably on their boat right now. Oh what, no, it's before noon, so my aunt is probably on the horn with her investment advisor asking her if she wants in on an IPO this morning. . . she usually stops trading for the day by noon. How often does your investment firm contact you and offer you IPO's? How many shares of berkshire/hathway do YOU own? Oh, but you are of a higher class than they are? You make me laugh. (eye roll). I'm a measely, average lawyer compared to them. They wipe their butts with my degrees.

To repeat: It's not just about money. There are different factors associated with class. No one is denying that your relatives have a lot of money. But, it is true that education and profession are important markers of class.

Not in countries that have social classes - did you attend social studies in grade school? Do you think being an air force pilot makes Prince William of a higher class? Perhaps in England being knighted or being a barrister is considered bringing one into a higher class, barely, but otherwise, sorry, having a grad degree won't cut it. And quite frankly, your obvious obsession with thinking you are such higher class than others, and talking about it now, is a reflection of you being of an average station. Persons truly of a higher social class do not discuss those things. It goes without saying.

Actually the pp is referring to measures used by social scientists to understand class in the United States. It's accepted by the experts.

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Go tell my retired plumber aunt and uncle that - they are probably on their boat right now. Oh what, no, it's before noon, so my aunt is probably on the horn with her investment advisor asking her if she wants in on an IPO this morning. . . she usually stops trading for the day by noon. How often does your investment firm contact you and offer you IPO's? How many shares of berkshire/hathway do YOU own? Oh, but you are of a higher class than they are? You make me laugh. (eye roll). I'm a measely, average lawyer compared to them. They wipe their butts with my degrees.

You've also said that they owned a plumbing company. Owning a company is different than being a wage-employee in a blue collar field. I don't think it's that hard to understand that people would look at those two things differently.

Plenty of blue collar people and people in the arts, like photographers and chefs and stylists, make more $$$ than lawyers anyway. It is what it is. And they don't have 6-figure student loans either.