I am so sorry, OP. However, it does not sound d ,Ike you have a choice in this. He’s said he wants a divorce, stayed for a bit after you asking him to stay, but now has brought it up again.

I would be thinking not if but when. You said he is a good dad so he will likely continue to be but you don’t know. You don’t know that you won’t have the dcs the majority of the time. They are 3 rd and 5 th grade, it not realistic to think you can persuade him to stay another 10 years.

You did not mention finances but two couples I know who did this were able to stay in same neighborhood so dcs just walked back and forth ( when age appropriate.)

Wishing you well when you are ready!

Yes, I would. A grown man wanting to eschew his responsibilities to me and our children for the rest of our earthly lives because “Wahhhh I’m not in love anymore 🥺.” LOL.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parents love their kids. Some parents no longer love each other. Life is hard but I’m on team kids. Kids need both parents involved in their lives.

Once they launch, I assume we’ll figure out if we’re really committed to the lawn project.

+1. Very common

Often the driver is one dysfunctional parent, who cannot be trusted with the children.
They even go on to pester and make unreasonable, selfish demands of their adult children. Their nastiness yet dependency is unfortunately very real.

Yes but adult kids can set boundaries. Young kids at home not so much. Get them launched well and they can choose to disengage from any parent who causes them distress.

Anonymous wrote:Parents love their kids. Some parents no longer love each other. Life is hard but I’m on team kids. Kids need both parents involved in their lives.

Once they launch, I assume we’ll figure out if we’re really committed to the lawn project.

+1. Very common

Often the driver is one dysfunctional parent, who cannot be trusted with the children.
They even go on to pester and make unreasonable, selfish demands of their adult children. Their nastiness yet dependency is unfortunately very real.

OP, give us an update!

Does be have an anxious or avoidant attachment style? I went through this with my DH 10 years ago, he just wanted to move out, zoned out. I told him, fine, then go, like, go, go then, rent a cabin somewhere, go, i will be fine. Pure escapist fantasy and mid life malaise projected on to me.

I dont want to share time either away from kids. I have full life - friends, hobbies, travel, and DH is workaholic.

Parents love their kids. Some parents no longer love each other. Life is hard but I’m on team kids. Kids need both parents involved in their lives.

Once they launch, I assume we’ll figure out if we’re really committed to the lawn project.