Anonymous
Post 05/29/2026 19:32     Subject: Re:If you can afford it why wouldn’t you switch your kids to private with all the terrible things going on

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:People vastly underestimate the social and emotional benefits of going to school with kids in their neighborhood/community. The value of going to school with the same cohort over the years (especially in large schools where you have many options for friend groups) is enormous.

Private school kids may get a better education but many of them don't have the rich community that public school kids do. There's very little running to neighbors' houses and hanging out, biking together, spending long stretches together wandering through the neighborhood. In my Bethesda neighborhood, very few of the private school kids have this, or just with or or two kids. The kids in MCPS have been together since they were in elementary school and have strong social bonds.

Having a pack of friends from childhood through high school is a strong source of emotional health and stability and there is a huge amount of research on this. It's also what makes childhood and adolescence special. I don't see this with private school kids anywhere near as close as it with local publics.



Again. If your child is struggling in school most likely they are struggling elsewhere. They can make and keep friends in the neighborhood just fine. They can’t if they can’t function in school and MCPS doesn’t address it properly.

So that’s the argument for private some have.


still waiting for someone to explain how a private school can better address something like functioning in school? Do they actually have more teachers and specialized staff that can address these needs? Are these staff paid well or competitively enough to stay for a long time in the private setting? Or are you paying for the exclusivity of keeping out the riff raff kids so your child is less distracted? I went to parochial school in a different state and there were no special ed students or extra staff that could have even assisted in the role that a paraeducator would have in public school. This was 30+ years ago so I get that times have changed, but I am really curious about the OP's goal here? Does the average private school have the staff and capacity to assist high needs kids with IEPs or other issues actually learn better?


Private schools, unless specialized, are not going to provide adequate accommodations for some students - who need one-on-one aids, who can’t work at or near grade level, etc. But a lot of kids with LDs can be accommodated in a class of 12-15 students in a way they can’t be in a class of 28-32 students. One big benefit of private school is smaller classes and thereby fewer distractions for kids whose IEP/504 is for ADHD or level 1 autism or sensory sensitivities etc.
Anonymous
Post 05/29/2026 15:14     Subject: Re:If you can afford it why wouldn’t you switch your kids to private with all the terrible things going on

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:People vastly underestimate the social and emotional benefits of going to school with kids in their neighborhood/community. The value of going to school with the same cohort over the years (especially in large schools where you have many options for friend groups) is enormous.

Private school kids may get a better education but many of them don't have the rich community that public school kids do. There's very little running to neighbors' houses and hanging out, biking together, spending long stretches together wandering through the neighborhood. In my Bethesda neighborhood, very few of the private school kids have this, or just with or or two kids. The kids in MCPS have been together since they were in elementary school and have strong social bonds.

Having a pack of friends from childhood through high school is a strong source of emotional health and stability and there is a huge amount of research on this. It's also what makes childhood and adolescence special. I don't see this with private school kids anywhere near as close as it with local publics.



Again. If your child is struggling in school most likely they are struggling elsewhere. They can make and keep friends in the neighborhood just fine. They can’t if they can’t function in school and MCPS doesn’t address it properly.

So that’s the argument for private some have.


still waiting for someone to explain how a private school can better address something like functioning in school? Do they actually have more teachers and specialized staff that can address these needs? Are these staff paid well or competitively enough to stay for a long time in the private setting? Or are you paying for the exclusivity of keeping out the riff raff kids so your child is less distracted? I went to parochial school in a different state and there were no special ed students or extra staff that could have even assisted in the role that a paraeducator would have in public school. This was 30+ years ago so I get that times have changed, but I am really curious about the OP's goal here? Does the average private school have the staff and capacity to assist high needs kids with IEPs or other issues actually learn better?



They address the bullies. Kids can’t learn if they don’t feel safe at school. If you really can’t think why anyone would prefer private then I’m sorry?

For me? I would TOTALLY pay for private - I taught recently in MCPS. I have many teacher colleagues that send their children to private. It shocked me at first, but now? After the pandemic? Absolutely schools are not the same. I’m now pursuing another field in graduate school after having left.

The schools are also not the same curriculum wise. Standards have fallen significantly. I can believe that private holds students to a high standard so education is actually a top priority at privates. Not just surviving the day with dozens of students distracting classes. I also don’t understand the math argument that well - I do agree it’s probably the one subject MCPS can easily provide the most resources for and can find specialized teachers - rather than science and even English (which is painstakingly difficult for many students). But….our test results are not that amazing overall. I mean look how colleges now are backtracking and reviewing admission standards because students from across the country are grade levels behind in math.

Class sizes will only continue to increase or stay large while specialized instruction will begins to decrease (looking at you regional model…)

Those are a couple answers. Some parents just want something that works better for their families. There are other answers. No one has to give you the perfect answer but private schools would not be in business if public schools were desirable to all families.







We're in a middle class neighborhood where very few families send their kids to privates. The only ones I know are two special needs kids where MCPS refused to meet their needs (both dyslexia) and kids of teachers.

It's sort of the reverse of OP's question: "if private school is a major sacrifice, what makes you do it" I think it's revealing, though.
Anonymous
Post 05/29/2026 15:10     Subject: Re:If you can afford it why wouldn’t you switch your kids to private with all the terrible things going on

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:People vastly underestimate the social and emotional benefits of going to school with kids in their neighborhood/community. The value of going to school with the same cohort over the years (especially in large schools where you have many options for friend groups) is enormous.

Private school kids may get a better education but many of them don't have the rich community that public school kids do. There's very little running to neighbors' houses and hanging out, biking together, spending long stretches together wandering through the neighborhood. In my Bethesda neighborhood, very few of the private school kids have this, or just with or or two kids. The kids in MCPS have been together since they were in elementary school and have strong social bonds.

Having a pack of friends from childhood through high school is a strong source of emotional health and stability and there is a huge amount of research on this. It's also what makes childhood and adolescence special. I don't see this with private school kids anywhere near as close as it with local publics.



Again. If your child is struggling in school most likely they are struggling elsewhere. They can make and keep friends in the neighborhood just fine. They can’t if they can’t function in school and MCPS doesn’t address it properly.

So that’s the argument for private some have.


still waiting for someone to explain how a private school can better address something like functioning in school? Do they actually have more teachers and specialized staff that can address these needs? Are these staff paid well or competitively enough to stay for a long time in the private setting? Or are you paying for the exclusivity of keeping out the riff raff kids so your child is less distracted? I went to parochial school in a different state and there were no special ed students or extra staff that could have even assisted in the role that a paraeducator would have in public school. This was 30+ years ago so I get that times have changed, but I am really curious about the OP's goal here? Does the average private school have the staff and capacity to assist high needs kids with IEPs or other issues actually learn better?



They address the bullies. Kids can’t learn if they don’t feel safe at school. If you really can’t think why anyone would prefer private then I’m sorry?

For me? I would TOTALLY pay for private - I taught recently in MCPS. I have many teacher colleagues that send their children to private. It shocked me at first, but now? After the pandemic? Absolutely schools are not the same. I’m now pursuing another field in graduate school after having left.

The schools are also not the same curriculum wise. Standards have fallen significantly. I can believe that private holds students to a high standard so education is actually a top priority at privates. Not just surviving the day with dozens of students distracting classes. I also don’t understand the math argument that well - I do agree it’s probably the one subject MCPS can easily provide the most resources for and can find specialized teachers - rather than science and even English (which is painstakingly difficult for many students). But….our test results are not that amazing overall. I mean look how colleges now are backtracking and reviewing admission standards because students from across the country are grade levels behind in math.

Class sizes will only continue to increase or stay large while specialized instruction will begins to decrease (looking at you regional model…)

Those are a couple answers. Some parents just want something that works better for their families. There are other answers. No one has to give you the perfect answer but private schools would not be in business if public schools were desirable to all families.





Anonymous
Post 05/29/2026 13:49     Subject: Re:If you can afford it why wouldn’t you switch your kids to private with all the terrible things going on

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:People vastly underestimate the social and emotional benefits of going to school with kids in their neighborhood/community. The value of going to school with the same cohort over the years (especially in large schools where you have many options for friend groups) is enormous.

Private school kids may get a better education but many of them don't have the rich community that public school kids do. There's very little running to neighbors' houses and hanging out, biking together, spending long stretches together wandering through the neighborhood. In my Bethesda neighborhood, very few of the private school kids have this, or just with or or two kids. The kids in MCPS have been together since they were in elementary school and have strong social bonds.

Having a pack of friends from childhood through high school is a strong source of emotional health and stability and there is a huge amount of research on this. It's also what makes childhood and adolescence special. I don't see this with private school kids anywhere near as close as it with local publics.



Again. If your child is struggling in school most likely they are struggling elsewhere. They can make and keep friends in the neighborhood just fine. They can’t if they can’t function in school and MCPS doesn’t address it properly.

So that’s the argument for private some have.


still waiting for someone to explain how a private school can better address something like functioning in school? Do they actually have more teachers and specialized staff that can address these needs? Are these staff paid well or competitively enough to stay for a long time in the private setting? Or are you paying for the exclusivity of keeping out the riff raff kids so your child is less distracted? I went to parochial school in a different state and there were no special ed students or extra staff that could have even assisted in the role that a paraeducator would have in public school. This was 30+ years ago so I get that times have changed, but I am really curious about the OP's goal here? Does the average private school have the staff and capacity to assist high needs kids with IEPs or other issues actually learn better?
Anonymous
Post 05/29/2026 13:01     Subject: If you can afford it why wouldn’t you switch your kids to private with all the terrible things going on

Jewish day schools are upwards of $30k-40k actually. They are not similar to parochial schools.
Anonymous
Post 05/29/2026 09:46     Subject: Re:If you can afford it why wouldn’t you switch your kids to private with all the terrible things going on

Anonymous wrote:People vastly underestimate the social and emotional benefits of going to school with kids in their neighborhood/community. The value of going to school with the same cohort over the years (especially in large schools where you have many options for friend groups) is enormous.

Private school kids may get a better education but many of them don't have the rich community that public school kids do. There's very little running to neighbors' houses and hanging out, biking together, spending long stretches together wandering through the neighborhood. In my Bethesda neighborhood, very few of the private school kids have this, or just with or or two kids. The kids in MCPS have been together since they were in elementary school and have strong social bonds.

Having a pack of friends from childhood through high school is a strong source of emotional health and stability and there is a huge amount of research on this. It's also what makes childhood and adolescence special. I don't see this with private school kids anywhere near as close as it with local publics.



Again. If your child is struggling in school most likely they are struggling elsewhere. They can make and keep friends in the neighborhood just fine. They can’t if they can’t function in school and MCPS doesn’t address it properly.

So that’s the argument for private some have.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2026 23:22     Subject: Re:If you can afford it why wouldn’t you switch your kids to private with all the terrible things going on

Anonymous wrote:People vastly underestimate the social and emotional benefits of going to school with kids in their neighborhood/community. The value of going to school with the same cohort over the years (especially in large schools where you have many options for friend groups) is enormous.

Private school kids may get a better education but many of them don't have the rich community that public school kids do. There's very little running to neighbors' houses and hanging out, biking together, spending long stretches together wandering through the neighborhood. In my Bethesda neighborhood, very few of the private school kids have this, or just with or or two kids. The kids in MCPS have been together since they were in elementary school and have strong social bonds.

Having a pack of friends from childhood through high school is a strong source of emotional health and stability and there is a huge amount of research on this. It's also what makes childhood and adolescence special. I don't see this with private school kids anywhere near as close as it with local publics.


+1. This is why we've stayed in MCPS!
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2026 22:39     Subject: If you can afford it why wouldn’t you switch your kids to private with all the terrible things going on

Anonymous wrote:All of our kids have thrived in MCPS. We decided on private HS and our son said he learned more in the first quarter of HS than all three years of MCPS middle school combined. The behaviors he saw in his middle school were atrocious - fighting and vaping in the hallways on the regular. At his private HS, he said he feels safe, seen and challenged. Engaging dialogue and projects in every class. I am a firm believer and supporter of public school AND our first year in private HS has been phenomenal.


How exactly is it that all of your children have thrived in MCPS?
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2026 22:33     Subject: Re:If you can afford it why wouldn’t you switch your kids to private with all the terrible things going on

People vastly underestimate the social and emotional benefits of going to school with kids in their neighborhood/community. The value of going to school with the same cohort over the years (especially in large schools where you have many options for friend groups) is enormous.

Private school kids may get a better education but many of them don't have the rich community that public school kids do. There's very little running to neighbors' houses and hanging out, biking together, spending long stretches together wandering through the neighborhood. In my Bethesda neighborhood, very few of the private school kids have this, or just with or or two kids. The kids in MCPS have been together since they were in elementary school and have strong social bonds.

Having a pack of friends from childhood through high school is a strong source of emotional health and stability and there is a huge amount of research on this. It's also what makes childhood and adolescence special. I don't see this with private school kids anywhere near as close as it with local publics.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2026 21:40     Subject: If you can afford it why wouldn’t you switch your kids to private with all the terrible things going on

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I’m generally curious why anyone would stay at MCPS for middle or high school with the budget cuts that are coming, along with the safety concerns in public and how they are handling things in general. The grade inflation is crazy and many kids can’t even pass their AP classes. I understand there are families who can’t afford it, but if you can, why wouldn’t you leave? I’m genuinely curious, not trying to be rude. Also if you are religious at all why wouldn’t you chose a parochial or Jewish school that are not that out of reach. I get paying 60k by why not 12k?


Because I went to one and received a pretty mediocre education, especially in math and science. Why would I pay for that?
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2026 21:26     Subject: If you can afford it why wouldn’t you switch your kids to private with all the terrible things going on

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:There’s no perfect school and some of the problems discussed here are overblown or not applicable


+1

Fearmongering is out of control


A school shooting is my greatest fear right now for my kids.


My kid in private school is the one who experienced a school shooting (not perpetrated by a student or anyone affiliated with the school) so…


It's unfortunate that it can happen anywhere. Statistically, it is still more likely to happen at a public school, though.


You're only looking at a single data point, though. Statistically, school shootings are also much more likely to happen in the south. Also, "Suburban and rural, wealthier, and low minority schools had more suicides and school-targeted shootings, which had the highest fatalities per incident." Here's a deep dive if you are truly concerned with using school shooting data to decide on placement:

https://www.gao.gov/products/gao-20-455



These are national statistics. The relevant numbers are local. It’s pretty hard to argue in good faith that MCPS and local private schools have similar problems with guns and gun violence. All you need to do is compare the number of guns found in MCPS schools and shootings in MCPS schools over the past year or two and the statistics of local private schools (none).


This has been explained repeatedly in this thread so you're just showing that your reading comprehension is as poor as your mathematical abilities. THe vast majority of students are public school students (85%), so it's not surprising that more of everything (including shootings) occurs in private schools.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2026 21:20     Subject: If you can afford it why wouldn’t you switch your kids to private with all the terrible things going on

Anonymous wrote:The majority of privates aren’t better, they just have the ability to cherry pick their students and expel those that don’t comply with their rules. I am also a huge supporter of free and public education for all. I want my children to have the opportunity to interact with peers from all walks of life.

The only reason I would consider private schools is if there was a serious safety concern. But again, private schools aren’t immune to that either.


That is literally what makes them better. Privates are not perfect but bad apples are routinely expelled for things public admins just ignore and/or cover up.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2026 21:14     Subject: If you can afford it why wouldn’t you switch your kids to private with all the terrible things going on

Anonymous wrote:I’m generally curious why anyone would stay at MCPS for middle or high school with the budget cuts that are coming, along with the safety concerns in public and how they are handling things in general. The grade inflation is crazy and many kids can’t even pass their AP classes. I understand there are families who can’t afford it, but if you can, why wouldn’t you leave? I’m genuinely curious, not trying to be rude. Also if you are religious at all why wouldn’t you chose a parochial or Jewish school that are not that out of reach. I get paying 60k by why not 12k?


Spoiler: They can't afford it. Even the "rich" appearing Moco public families are likely house poor.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2026 21:08     Subject: If you can afford it why wouldn’t you switch your kids to private with all the terrible things going on

All of our kids have thrived in MCPS. We decided on private HS and our son said he learned more in the first quarter of HS than all three years of MCPS middle school combined. The behaviors he saw in his middle school were atrocious - fighting and vaping in the hallways on the regular. At his private HS, he said he feels safe, seen and challenged. Engaging dialogue and projects in every class. I am a firm believer and supporter of public school AND our first year in private HS has been phenomenal.
Anonymous
Post 05/28/2026 18:11     Subject: If you can afford it why wouldn’t you switch your kids to private with all the terrible things going on

Well it is early days for us but our kid really benefits from the experienced teachers at MCPS. She is neurodivergent, and the teachers have been amazing at implementing 504 accommodations. While I definitely have.my concerns about the instruction (not because of the teachers but because of the curricula and the pacing), supplementing with tutors outside of school has helped a lot and is much cheaper than private school tuition.