Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand. Didn't you discuss the financials and run the NPCs for every school before applying? Sounds like substantial college savings means no need-based aid. Your child shouldn't have applied to any schools you both weren't willing to cover the difference for (given limited merit almost everywhere except a few schools for NMSF/NMF). Unfortunately you set your DC up for disappointment, which is a shame.

An alternative is taking a gap year to work and save as much money as possible, and to plan on working during school years and summer to help offset the extra costs. But a smart motivated kid will can do very well no matter where they attend UG!

Right? Why is this a surprise now? Affordability should have been part of the convo before he even applied. What about your state schools?

We also used the Buyers and Sellers list as we put together our search list to guide our process so that DD wouldn't apply to places that didn't offer good merit aid.

People can use this list and still be wrong about how much they will get.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand. Didn't you discuss the financials and run the NPCs for every school before applying? Sounds like substantial college savings means no need-based aid. Your child shouldn't have applied to any schools you both weren't willing to cover the difference for (given limited merit almost everywhere except a few schools for NMSF/NMF). Unfortunately you set your DC up for disappointment, which is a shame.

An alternative is taking a gap year to work and save as much money as possible, and to plan on working during school years and summer to help offset the extra costs. But a smart motivated kid will can do very well no matter where they attend UG!

Don't be a dick. Until you do it, you don't realize how stingy the FA or merit aid at these school really is. You hope for the best. Rubbing it in that "you did this" is just an a-hole thing to say.

Not everyone has time to research every school, possibility, etc. like the people on this board.

OP- my child had a D1 sports offer to a very high academic school (top 15). DC turned it down. That school was $90K a year. Even with athletic money (but no FA and no merit given by this school at all to anyone), it was not worth it. That's an absurd price tag to pay at almost full freight. We didn't know how stingy they'd be until DC got the offer. It was devastating to turn it down but . . .

DC is at a high performing d3 program at a school that people on here often mock. But DC is Dean's list, an athlete, and having a great experience. DC will graduate debt free with prob $100K+ left over for grad school. While many of DC's peers will be drowning in undergrad debt. Spin it as such.

Also DC talked to lots of professionals in the field of study and all said "it doesn't matter where you go to undergrad."

OP here. Thank you for your story! For those who said we didn't prepare perfectly and I set my child up for disappointment, maybe. But we thought their solid gpa (3.8 unweighted, 4.8 weighted, multiple 5s on AP exams, slightly above average SAT), plus multiple meaningful awards and varsity sports would be enough. And it wasn't. Lesson learned. And we are still learning as this process continues. At this point we've determined around 40k per year is around our max, with medical school down the road. This is actually a good lesson, although disappointing, in making informed decisions about finances. We don't hear enough about kids who do NOT go to their dream schools because of money but end up loving where they go.

You are not alone. And now you also understand why people say not to judge a high schoool by the matriculation list. You have no idea what goes into the choices people ultimately make about where to apply and where to go.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the child's exact substantial college savings and what are the extenuating circumstances related to how the savings came to be? Is the savings in a 529 and if not, what kind of plan is it in?

OP?

Not a specific plan. Family. But I don't make the income relative to the amount there is.

I don't understand. So this is a family gift that will pay for post high school education, not in a 529 and not with a limit, but you also don't think it is limitless?

Sounds like there is more than enough with the family gift but OP doesn't want to say the amount because it is more than most have AND it will cover all the way through medical school so long as undergrad is on the cheaper side. It isn't even in a 529 which tells me it is not finite. So who cares what your income is? Who cares how your income relates to the amount of money your family is setting aside. It seems your kid can afford any undergrad he wants but can't afford without debt all post high school education. My guess is that the money wasn't put into a 529 to likely try and game the financial aid system so undergrad would be supplemented by the school reducing the costs (i.e. no need to disclose the 529 balance but the money is nevertheless there/available).

Sounds like you then had kid apply to schools and while he "can" afford to go, it isn't advisable if you want education to be fully family funded. So your idea (to try and get financial aid for free) didn't work even though it was worth a shot to you. I don't think people are going to be sympathetic...your kid is fine regardless what is selected.

You are so wrong about my specific family money scenario, and I don't owe a public message board an explanation. But there is no gaming of anything, everything is being done by the books. I never asked for sympathy, I asked for input about other children who didn't go to their number one schools because they couldn't, and how their experience was. Again, not looking for anything other than stories and advice.

You claim you endured a "hard...financial aid disappointment" but there is non 529 savings from family for your kid's college even though you "don't have an amazing salary" which has resulted in your kid having a "substantial college savings." Nevertheless, "they/we aren't willing or able to pay 50k PLUS per year" bc they want to go "to med school after college as well, so the price of undergrad really matters."

1. Sounds like you have hundreds of thousands of dollars for higher education but not a limitless amount. Not being able to afford $50k/year is different from not being "willing" to afford it. You said both ("they/we aren't willing or able to pay 50K PLUS per year..." - so which is it?)

2. Because you set this up as a "financial aid disappointment" is why you owe people an explanation. It isn't a financial aid disappointment...it is you want your kid to graduate debt free after all education expenses are paid and that isn't really an option if medical school is in the mix.

3. It IS kinda shameful that you were hoping for financial aid based on your income when you already knew family had committed to paying for education, even if it isn't limitless. Even if it was "by the books" because it wasn't set aside college money so it didn't need to be disclosed.

Had the question been posed as: We are lucky enough that family has funded my kid's education through medical school but the well isn't bottomless so he can't attend the undergrad schools he likes the best (which better match his HS GPA) so that graduate school is covered. Any success stories where kids with a good HS GPA are left with college choices which puts them at the top of the school's 75% HS GPA acceptance rate so that their education is completely covered?

versus

We have family money for college, but don't owe you information about it. We hoped to get financial aid (but don't owe you information about that either). Same with the SAT (don't owe you that)! So...Financial aid disappointment here! Any success stories where kids with a good HS GPA are left with college choices which puts them at the top of the school's 75% HS GPA acceptance rate so that their education is completely covered?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the child's exact substantial college savings and what are the extenuating circumstances related to how the savings came to be? Is the savings in a 529 and if not, what kind of plan is it in?

OP?

Not a specific plan. Family. But I don't make the income relative to the amount there is.

I don't understand. So this is a family gift that will pay for post high school education, not in a 529 and not with a limit, but you also don't think it is limitless?

Sounds like there is more than enough with the family gift but OP doesn't want to say the amount because it is more than most have AND it will cover all the way through medical school so long as undergrad is on the cheaper side. It isn't even in a 529 which tells me it is not finite. So who cares what your income is? Who cares how your income relates to the amount of money your family is setting aside. It seems your kid can afford any undergrad he wants but can't afford without debt all post high school education. My guess is that the money wasn't put into a 529 to likely try and game the financial aid system so undergrad would be supplemented by the school reducing the costs (i.e. no need to disclose the 529 balance but the money is nevertheless there/available).

Sounds like you then had kid apply to schools and while he "can" afford to go, it isn't advisable if you want education to be fully family funded. So your idea (to try and get financial aid for free) didn't work even though it was worth a shot to you. I don't think people are going to be sympathetic...your kid is fine regardless what is selected.

You are so wrong about my specific family money scenario, and I don't owe a public message board an explanation. But there is no gaming of anything, everything is being done by the books. I never asked for sympathy, I asked for input about other children who didn't go to their number one schools because they couldn't, and how their experience was. Again, not looking for anything other than stories and advice.

Wrong message board if you're looking for kindness. The uptight, judgmental hags on here are not capable of it.

It's increasingly clear that "be kind" = enabling delusions and dishonesty.

OP is getting flak because she refuses, over and over again, to let us know two critical pieces of information: child's SATs and her actual financial position. This is an anonymous SAT score. Child is one of 156,000 MCPS students. He or she will not have their identity revealed by mere mention of those two key information.

There are many experienced parents posting on here who can offer great advice. But we have to work with what we are told, and people withholding important details and then complaining about nastiness aren't going to get the useful advice they might otherwise have.

Will say I am forming a better impression of OP's kid and it does tell me Towson is probably a good outcome. Higher grades, lower SAT scores still means a good work ethic and Towson will have plenty of similar peers. Yes, there are other schools but you're going to have to pay for those. And that's the reality.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand. Didn't you discuss the financials and run the NPCs for every school before applying? Sounds like substantial college savings means no need-based aid. Your child shouldn't have applied to any schools you both weren't willing to cover the difference for (given limited merit almost everywhere except a few schools for NMSF/NMF). Unfortunately you set your DC up for disappointment, which is a shame.

An alternative is taking a gap year to work and save as much money as possible, and to plan on working during school years and summer to help offset the extra costs. But a smart motivated kid will can do very well no matter where they attend UG!

Right? Why is this a surprise now? Affordability should have been part of the convo before he even applied. What about your state schools?

We also used the Buyers and Sellers list as we put together our search list to guide our process so that DD wouldn't apply to places that didn't offer good merit aid.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the child's exact substantial college savings and what are the extenuating circumstances related to how the savings came to be? Is the savings in a 529 and if not, what kind of plan is it in?

OP?

Not a specific plan. Family. But I don't make the income relative to the amount there is.

I don't understand. So this is a family gift that will pay for post high school education, not in a 529 and not with a limit, but you also don't think it is limitless?

Sounds like there is more than enough with the family gift but OP doesn't want to say the amount because it is more than most have AND it will cover all the way through medical school so long as undergrad is on the cheaper side. It isn't even in a 529 which tells me it is not finite. So who cares what your income is? Who cares how your income relates to the amount of money your family is setting aside. It seems your kid can afford any undergrad he wants but can't afford without debt all post high school education. My guess is that the money wasn't put into a 529 to likely try and game the financial aid system so undergrad would be supplemented by the school reducing the costs (i.e. no need to disclose the 529 balance but the money is nevertheless there/available).

Sounds like you then had kid apply to schools and while he "can" afford to go, it isn't advisable if you want education to be fully family funded. So your idea (to try and get financial aid for free) didn't work even though it was worth a shot to you. I don't think people are going to be sympathetic...your kid is fine regardless what is selected.

You are so wrong about my specific family money scenario, and I don't owe a public message board an explanation. But there is no gaming of anything, everything is being done by the books. I never asked for sympathy, I asked for input about other children who didn't go to their number one schools because they couldn't, and how their experience was. Again, not looking for anything other than stories and advice.

Wrong message board if you're looking for kindness. The uptight, judgmental hags on here are not capable of it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don't understand. Didn't you discuss the financials and run the NPCs for every school before applying? Sounds like substantial college savings means no need-based aid. Your child shouldn't have applied to any schools you both weren't willing to cover the difference for (given limited merit almost everywhere except a few schools for NMSF/NMF). Unfortunately you set your DC up for disappointment, which is a shame.

An alternative is taking a gap year to work and save as much money as possible, and to plan on working during school years and summer to help offset the extra costs. But a smart motivated kid will can do very well no matter where they attend UG!

Don't be a dick. Until you do it, you don't realize how stingy the FA or merit aid at these school really is. You hope for the best. Rubbing it in that "you did this" is just an a-hole thing to say.

Not everyone has time to research every school, possibility, etc. like the people on this board.

OP- my child had a D1 sports offer to a very high academic school (top 15). DC turned it down. That school was $90K a year. Even with athletic money (but no FA and no merit given by this school at all to anyone), it was not worth it. That's an absurd price tag to pay at almost full freight. We didn't know how stingy they'd be until DC got the offer. It was devastating to turn it down but . . .

DC is at a high performing d3 program at a school that people on here often mock. But DC is Dean's list, an athlete, and having a great experience. DC will graduate debt free with prob $100K+ left over for grad school. While many of DC's peers will be drowning in undergrad debt. Spin it as such.

Also DC talked to lots of professionals in the field of study and all said "it doesn't matter where you go to undergrad."

The prior poster was right. Sounds like there is significant college savings but want money for grad school. It makes no sense to apply to a school that you know is out of your budget.

If a D1 truly offered your kid a spot, your kid was actively recruiting there and presumably you should have known no money was to be offered. When my kid recruited, every coach would ask if we’d need aid… and whether it was only available as need based (ivies, for example).

Why shoot the messenger? Sounds like mistakes have been made and you have to face them: we shouldn’t have encouraged you to apply to schools out of our budget, we shouldn’t have trusted the npc, we should have told the coach you can’t afford to attend without aid.

My "significant savings" would have covered about 1/4 of the total cost of the school. So, grad school was not the point but that is the silver lining of declining that offer.

Also, pls don't lecture me on recruiting. We did it all and DC was actively recruited by D1, D2, and D3 schools. We knew what Division gave athletic money and what did not. As far as merit aid, the schools are not always that upfront about that. They just aren't. There were a lot of "ifs" as to the ultimate pricetag for some of the schools and the end point wasn't even known by some of them with the offer.

We did our due diligence and it is not as straightforward as you're making it out to be. That's great it was your experience. It was not ours.

Anonymous wrote:OP, I'm just skimming here, but disclosing the annual budget for undergrad and the actual SAT score might help generate ideas for additional possible schools, perhaps with apps still open.

She won't tell us the SAT score. She can tell us her budget but colleges will look at all her finances. Suspect same problem of low income but higher assets will continue to complicate chances at rolling admissions schools. Especially when now clear not first choices but desperate hunting.

Make peace with Towson and possibly transfer after a year.

OP, I'm just skimming here, but disclosing the annual budget for undergrad and the actual SAT score might help generate ideas for additional possible schools, perhaps with apps still open.

You don’t need to tell anyone how much money you have. But since you clearly do habe some resources, perhaps you should consider whether it’s that you can’t pay or dont want to pay. Both can be valid choices but I think its important to be clear and honest with your kid.

Don’t assume they will be attending with students that didn’t put the hard work in too. My child will not be attending their reach school that they were admitted to because with merit aid, it’s still not worth the extra loans over their target school which gave more generous merit.

Are there any other safety level schools with rolling admission that they *would* be excited about? Can you go to an accepted students day and hope they find a good fit?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the child's exact substantial college savings and what are the extenuating circumstances related to how the savings came to be? Is the savings in a 529 and if not, what kind of plan is it in?

OP?

Not a specific plan. Family. But I don't make the income relative to the amount there is.

I don't understand. So this is a family gift that will pay for post high school education, not in a 529 and not with a limit, but you also don't think it is limitless?

Sounds like there is more than enough with the family gift but OP doesn't want to say the amount because it is more than most have AND it will cover all the way through medical school so long as undergrad is on the cheaper side. It isn't even in a 529 which tells me it is not finite. So who cares what your income is? Who cares how your income relates to the amount of money your family is setting aside. It seems your kid can afford any undergrad he wants but can't afford without debt all post high school education. My guess is that the money wasn't put into a 529 to likely try and game the financial aid system so undergrad would be supplemented by the school reducing the costs (i.e. no need to disclose the 529 balance but the money is nevertheless there/available).

Sounds like you then had kid apply to schools and while he "can" afford to go, it isn't advisable if you want education to be fully family funded. So your idea (to try and get financial aid for free) didn't work even though it was worth a shot to you. I don't think people are going to be sympathetic...your kid is fine regardless what is selected.

You are so wrong about my specific family money scenario, and I don't owe a public message board an explanation. But there is no gaming of anything, everything is being done by the books. I never asked for sympathy, I asked for input about other children who didn't go to their number one schools because they couldn't, and how their experience was. Again, not looking for anything other than stories and advice.

Ok? Then tell us how much money you have. What exactly were you working with? What's the income and what was in the funds reported to the colleges? You have steadfastly withheld this information along with the SATs. Am pretty confident both are reasons your kid didn't get a better school work out.

Did you not apply to UMBC? They have a pretty good track record getting students into medical school and other STEM programs.

Anonymous wrote:OP, have your DD go to admitted student days and give her safeties a chance. It's different to tour a school once you're admitted and can start picturing yourself there. But the sweatshirt, talk to students in her department, get excited about what they offer. My spouse is a professor at a LAC that's ranked outside the T100, so it's a school that's literally never mentioned here. And every year he has great students graduate who get accepted into med school, law school and top notch grad programs. Tell her to go and be a big fish in a small pond, enjoy college and if after the first year, it's not a good fit, transfer. And maybe after grinding for 4 straight years, she'll end up enjoying being able to have more time for clubs, social stuff, etc. Being at the most competitive school isn't always the best fit- she very well may end up having a phenomenal experience at her safety. And there will 100% be other smart, hardworking kids there who are in the same boat- it happens every year that kids end up switching gears based on financial aid and merit offers and end up where they didn't expect to go.

+1

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the child's exact substantial college savings and what are the extenuating circumstances related to how the savings came to be? Is the savings in a 529 and if not, what kind of plan is it in?

OP?

Not a specific plan. Family. But I don't make the income relative to the amount there is.

I don't understand. So this is a family gift that will pay for post high school education, not in a 529 and not with a limit, but you also don't think it is limitless?

Sounds like there is more than enough with the family gift but OP doesn't want to say the amount because it is more than most have AND it will cover all the way through medical school so long as undergrad is on the cheaper side. It isn't even in a 529 which tells me it is not finite. So who cares what your income is? Who cares how your income relates to the amount of money your family is setting aside. It seems your kid can afford any undergrad he wants but can't afford without debt all post high school education. My guess is that the money wasn't put into a 529 to likely try and game the financial aid system so undergrad would be supplemented by the school reducing the costs (i.e. no need to disclose the 529 balance but the money is nevertheless there/available).

Sounds like you then had kid apply to schools and while he "can" afford to go, it isn't advisable if you want education to be fully family funded. So your idea (to try and get financial aid for free) didn't work even though it was worth a shot to you. I don't think people are going to be sympathetic...your kid is fine regardless what is selected.

You are so wrong about my specific family money scenario, and I don't owe a public message board an explanation. But there is no gaming of anything, everything is being done by the books. I never asked for sympathy, I asked for input about other children who didn't go to their number one schools because they couldn't, and how their experience was. Again, not looking for anything other than stories and advice.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This has been hard. My child has gotten into their safeties (Towson/Salisbury) which they are NOT enthusiastic about. They have also gotten into some of their reach/target schools. Unfortunately, those schools so far are around 60k per year with merit (child has 4.8 gpa). Financial aid is minimal. I don't have an amazing salary, but child has substantial college savings because of extenuating circumstances (not enough to cover 240k though). They go to a decent high school in Montgomery County, and it is sad for them to see their classmates commit to schools they cannot commit to. How do you help your child handle going to a safety so they can graduate college without debt? My child is so disappointed to have to go to school with peers who didn't grind like them and sacrifice time. But they/we just aren't willing or able to pay 50k PLUS per year. They want to go to med school after college as well, so the price of undergrad really matters. Please tell me your stories of going to a safety bc of money and kid thriving.

College is just a mere pitt stop on the long road to life. Your DC's hard work will serve them well in college - any college - and they will thrive as they did in HS and move onto bigger and better things. It's not where you go, it's how you go. And going without going into debt is definitely worth it for longer-term success.

Well said!