Anonymous
02/02/2026 17:57
Subject: Intense, work-heavy colleges vs fun schools
Can you explain? My DC felt the type of kids from their school gunning for the Ivy League were lacking in other areas, not necessarily bad people, but generally unpleasant to be around.Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:My DC refused to even apply to the Ivy League because they were over it and now they are thriving at a highly ranked but less of a pressure cooker school. They still work hard but wanted to avoid the type of student who worked themselves to death and seemed perpetually miserable.Anonymous wrote:DD has had impressive college admissions but admitted that high school has been a grind, not a lot of fun, but very high achieving. She is thinking of going somewhere more fun for college instead of continuing the drudgery (her words). Anyone else's kids feel this way? She will be successful wherever she goes, I am confident, but I want her to be happy too.
My impression as a high school student was that Ivy League schools were for brown nosers who were champions at networking and elbowing people out of the way but who weren’t especially smart or interested in learning for the sake of learning. This forum tends to support the idea that the Ivy League admissions process exists to screen out kids who are serious about learning.
Anonymous
02/02/2026 17:22
Subject: Intense, work-heavy colleges vs fun schools
Anonymous wrote:My DC refused to even apply to the Ivy League because they were over it and now they are thriving at a highly ranked but less of a pressure cooker school. They still work hard but wanted to avoid the type of student who worked themselves to death and seemed perpetually miserable.Anonymous wrote:DD has had impressive college admissions but admitted that high school has been a grind, not a lot of fun, but very high achieving. She is thinking of going somewhere more fun for college instead of continuing the drudgery (her words). Anyone else's kids feel this way? She will be successful wherever she goes, I am confident, but I want her to be happy too.
My impression as a high school student was that Ivy League schools were for brown nosers who were champions at networking and elbowing people out of the way but who weren’t especially smart or interested in learning for the sake of learning. This forum tends to support the idea that the Ivy League admissions process exists to screen out kids who are serious about learning.
Anonymous
02/02/2026 17:13
Subject: Intense, work-heavy colleges vs fun schools
Anonymous wrote:DD has had impressive college admissions but admitted that high school has been a grind, not a lot of fun, but very high achieving. She is thinking of going somewhere more fun for college instead of continuing the drudgery (her words). Anyone else's kids feel this way? She will be successful wherever she goes, I am confident, but I want her to be happy too.
The students who belong at the JHU/Rice/WashU-type school, went to ordinary high schools and graduated at 18 or 19 thought an ordinary high school AP class was way too easy.
They may hate getting bad grades, but they’re thrilled to be in a school where the professors know enough to create challenging courses. They have no serious conflict between partying and studying. They’re just grateful for a chance to have to study.
Anonymous
02/02/2026 16:42
Subject: Intense, work-heavy colleges vs fun schools
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:DD has had impressive college admissions but admitted that high school has been a grind, not a lot of fun, but very high achieving. She is thinking of going somewhere more fun for college instead of continuing the drudgery (her words). Anyone else's kids feel this way? She will be successful wherever she goes, I am confident, but I want her to be happy too.
I'd recommend the following:
Rice
Rice, and
Rice
Texas is a turn off for many students in 2026.
But not most! So again, look at Rice.
"Most" students are not applying to schools in Texas.
That wasn’t the filter! Try it this way:
PP: Texas is a turn off for many students in 2026.
Me: Texas is appealing for many students in 2026.
Consider Rice, which absolutely meets OP’s criteria
+1 That other poster is trying to gaslight you.
Do you even know what gaslighting means?
TX politics is a disqualifier for many students.
Do you want your kid down there when the next civil war breaks out?
A) You're demonstrating a textbook case of gaslighting.
B) Texas is not a disqualifier for many students, as evidenced by record applications to Texas schools.
C) Unlike you, I'm not salivating for another civil war. But if there is one, then I definitely don't want to be on the side of unhinged leftist radicals and their Islamo-fascist overlords.
So that's a no, you don't know what it means.
"Islamo-fascist overlords"? What the f are you smoking?
Right, we are so unhinged. We don't want innocent people to be shot in the face by Trump's goons.
Anonymous
02/02/2026 14:53
Subject: Intense, work-heavy colleges vs fun schools
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:DD has had impressive college admissions but admitted that high school has been a grind, not a lot of fun, but very high achieving. She is thinking of going somewhere more fun for college instead of continuing the drudgery (her words). Anyone else's kids feel this way? She will be successful wherever she goes, I am confident, but I want her to be happy too.
I'd recommend the following:
Rice
Rice, and
Rice
Texas is a turn off for many students in 2026.
But not most! So again, look at Rice.
"Most" students are not applying to schools in Texas.
That wasn’t the filter! Try it this way:
PP: Texas is a turn off for many students in 2026.
Me: Texas is appealing for many students in 2026.
Consider Rice, which absolutely meets OP’s criteria
+1 That other poster is trying to gaslight you.
Do you even know what gaslighting means?
TX politics is a disqualifier for many students.
Do you want your kid down there when the next civil war breaks out?
A) You're demonstrating a textbook case of gaslighting.
B) Texas is not a disqualifier for many students, as evidenced by record applications to Texas schools.
C) Unlike you, I'm not salivating for another civil war. But if there is one, then I definitely don't want to be on the side of unhinged leftist radicals and their Islamo-fascist overlords.
Anonymous
02/02/2026 13:40
Subject: Intense, work-heavy colleges vs fun schools
My DS is a freshman at a “second tier” state school in Virginia. Loving his time there. And he is shining there.
High school was IB program with a few AP classes as well. Lots of activities, which he enjoyed, but kept him busy.
He picked the school with the best for for him, and it worked out very well so far.
High school was IB program with a few AP classes as well. Lots of activities, which he enjoyed, but kept him busy.
He picked the school with the best for for him, and it worked out very well so far.
Anonymous
02/02/2026 12:47
Subject: Re:Intense, work-heavy colleges vs fun schools
What about USC Viterbi for engineering? That seems like a fun vibe.
Anonymous
02/02/2026 12:32
Subject: Intense, work-heavy colleges vs fun schools
My DC refused to even apply to the Ivy League because they were over it and now they are thriving at a highly ranked but less of a pressure cooker school. They still work hard but wanted to avoid the type of student who worked themselves to death and seemed perpetually miserable.Anonymous wrote:DD has had impressive college admissions but admitted that high school has been a grind, not a lot of fun, but very high achieving. She is thinking of going somewhere more fun for college instead of continuing the drudgery (her words). Anyone else's kids feel this way? She will be successful wherever she goes, I am confident, but I want her to be happy too.
Anonymous
02/02/2026 09:25
Subject: Re:Intense, work-heavy colleges vs fun schools
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Where do we think Duke falls on the grind-culture spectrum for engineering (BME?) Northwestern? Case?
I’m kind of hoping my kid chooses Wisconsin or Pitt over Michigan because my impression is that those school cultures seem a bit friendlier and less intense — not academically, but in terms of personalities?
Is there anything to that or am I making things up?
She is really hoping for some intellectual heft — defined more by depth than by workload — where kids help each other and aren’t constantly trying to out-gun each other. Does this exist for engineering?
Or is the grind factor overblown?
BME was the absolute hardest major at Duke when I went there. But the kids in that major were by far the smartest kids. For the right kid it isn't too hard. My roommate was electrical engineering. She made it look like a cakewalk.
Fascinating. I was curious about this comment since BME typically isn’t the hardest engineering major and discovered that Duke only offers a limited number of engineering majors. No chemical engineering, engineering physics, etc.
Anonymous
02/02/2026 09:19
Subject: Intense, work-heavy colleges vs fun schools
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:DD has had impressive college admissions but admitted that high school has been a grind, not a lot of fun, but very high achieving. She is thinking of going somewhere more fun for college instead of continuing the drudgery (her words). Anyone else's kids feel this way? She will be successful wherever she goes, I am confident, but I want her to be happy too.
I'd recommend the following:
Rice
Rice, and
Rice
Texas is a turn off for many students in 2026.
But not most! So again, look at Rice.
"Most" students are not applying to schools in Texas.
That wasn’t the filter! Try it this way:
PP: Texas is a turn off for many students in 2026.
Me: Texas is appealing for many students in 2026.
Consider Rice, which absolutely meets OP’s criteria
+1 That other poster is trying to gaslight you.
Do you even know what gaslighting means?
TX politics is a disqualifier for many students.
Do you want your kid down there when the next civil war breaks out?
Not really.
Anonymous
02/02/2026 09:17
Subject: Intense, work-heavy colleges vs fun schools
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:DD has had impressive college admissions but admitted that high school has been a grind, not a lot of fun, but very high achieving. She is thinking of going somewhere more fun for college instead of continuing the drudgery (her words). Anyone else's kids feel this way? She will be successful wherever she goes, I am confident, but I want her to be happy too.
I'd recommend the following:
Rice
Rice, and
Rice
Texas is a turn off for many students in 2026.
But not most! So again, look at Rice.
"Most" students are not applying to schools in Texas.
That wasn’t the filter! Try it this way:
PP: Texas is a turn off for many students in 2026.
Me: Texas is appealing for many students in 2026.
Consider Rice, which absolutely meets OP’s criteria
+1 That other poster is trying to gaslight you.
Do you even know what gaslighting means?
TX politics is a disqualifier for many students.
Do you want your kid down there when the next civil war breaks out?
Anonymous
02/02/2026 09:09
Subject: Intense, work-heavy colleges vs fun schools
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:DD has had impressive college admissions but admitted that high school has been a grind, not a lot of fun, but very high achieving. She is thinking of going somewhere more fun for college instead of continuing the drudgery (her words). Anyone else's kids feel this way? She will be successful wherever she goes, I am confident, but I want her to be happy too.
I'd recommend the following:
Rice
Rice, and
Rice
Texas is a turn off for many students in 2026.
But not most! So again, look at Rice.
"Most" students are not applying to schools in Texas.
That wasn’t the filter! Try it this way:
PP: Texas is a turn off for many students in 2026.
Me: Texas is appealing for many students in 2026.
Consider Rice, which absolutely meets OP’s criteria
+1 That other poster is trying to gaslight you.
Anonymous
02/02/2026 08:38
Subject: Re:Intense, work-heavy colleges vs fun schools
Anonymous wrote:Where do we think Duke falls on the grind-culture spectrum for engineering (BME?) Northwestern? Case?
I’m kind of hoping my kid chooses Wisconsin or Pitt over Michigan because my impression is that those school cultures seem a bit friendlier and less intense — not academically, but in terms of personalities?
Is there anything to that or am I making things up?
She is really hoping for some intellectual heft — defined more by depth than by workload — where kids help each other and aren’t constantly trying to out-gun each other. Does this exist for engineering?
Or is the grind factor overblown?
Not sure about all those schools and sure there are people here that can chime in on Pitt. Being from the Midwest, we know tons of kids at Wisconsin in STEM and they all seem to like it. I do know that at Georgia Tech (#1 for BME) where my kid is a freshman, the students are very supportive of each other and the school really encourages this. They really focus on service and all just kids with a common interests having fun and learning at a high level.
Anonymous
02/02/2026 08:11
Subject: Re:Intense, work-heavy colleges vs fun schools
University of Chicago - where the fun goes to die! This has been an amazing school, but it is definitely intense.
Anonymous
02/02/2026 08:08
Subject: Re:Intense, work-heavy colleges vs fun schools
Anonymous wrote:Where do we think Duke falls on the grind-culture spectrum for engineering (BME?) Northwestern? Case?
I’m kind of hoping my kid chooses Wisconsin or Pitt over Michigan because my impression is that those school cultures seem a bit friendlier and less intense — not academically, but in terms of personalities?
Is there anything to that or am I making things up?
She is really hoping for some intellectual heft — defined more by depth than by workload — where kids help each other and aren’t constantly trying to out-gun each other. Does this exist for engineering?
Or is the grind factor overblown?
BME was the absolute hardest major at Duke when I went there. But the kids in that major were by far the smartest kids. For the right kid it isn't too hard. My roommate was electrical engineering. She made it look like a cakewalk.