who cares what she had to meet on dates. Op's concern that if she could date shows that she doesn't know what it takes to maintain a relationship. How many times she is married before or had good LTRs?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not think you should let being broke stand in the way of dating. Just be up front about your situation if you're planning to be in a place where splitting the bill might be expected.. Most guys will offer to pay while bill.

What does a 225lb woman order on a date though? Not to make her self conscious but I’ve seen some crazy things in tick tock like women ordering meals to go for all of their kids

She orders the lobster, duh.

I have seen in reality for a lot of women to do that and it is disgusting. Like you can't have all that and then coming on a date like it is free meal ticket. I would walk out of date in between if any stupidity like this comes up.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do not think you should let being broke stand in the way of dating. Just be up front about your situation if you're planning to be in a place where splitting the bill might be expected.. Most guys will offer to pay while bill.

What does a 225lb woman order on a date though? Not to make her self conscious but I’ve seen some crazy things in tick tock like women ordering meals to go for all of their kids

She orders the lobster, duh.

Anonymous wrote:This kind of posts show double standards for women sometimes. Imagine, a men writing this post and all the pages would be full of hate and calling him a loser and all sorts of names. Op is clearly not in a state to date and people are supportive but just because she thinks she can do all this and not be responsible shows a lot about her.

This really isn’t true.
I have gotten into some of the red pill stuff on my algorithm on instagram, and there is a lot of content saying this kind of stuff. Frankly, it’s mostly bogus and preying on depressed men with a warped sense of reality. Women are not walking around calling men losers.

Yes, there are a few trolls who might call a man in this situation a loser, but there are a few people who called the female OP a loser. Overall, people are empathic and understanding as long as you are open to hearing it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to get in shape. It will do wonders for your whole outlook. The only way to do this is to eat less. And I mean way less.

Men never care about $$ if you're in shape and have a good personality.

FFS.

OP did not ask for diet advice. It amazes me how many people around here want to tell people to eat less. Do you think that people who are overweight don’t know that?

People who are obese like the OP are in total denial. So yes, they don't know that.

Anonymous wrote:I am 44F and financially broke with significant payments towards my bills every month. How important is my financial security for dating and being in an LTR with someone who is financial secure? For the context, I am overweight with BMI of 33-34 but look good when I dress up and put make up on. I know I can date and it is easier to do but sometimes dating also needs money if you have to buy dinners now and then.

At 33-34 BMI you're obese.

You do NOT "look good" when you dress up and put make up on. Does the term "lipstick on a pig" click for you?

You could save lots of money by eating less crap.

If you are nice and pleasant and not greedy and you lose the weight and you're not psycho plenty of guys out there who will pay for the dates.

This kind of posts show double standards for women sometimes. Imagine, a men writing this post and all the pages would be full of hate and calling him a loser and all sorts of names. Op is clearly not in a state to date and people are supportive but just because she thinks she can do all this and not be responsible shows a lot about her.

There is no way, OP can do all that and have time for the relationship. It is a stupid suggestion that she is getting old. I would rather be stable and independent and start a relationship few years later than doing all this at the same time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to prioritize your health (lose weight, 33% is really really high) and financial wellbeing. Once you feel good and stable in both aspects, then you date.

But that would take her years and OP is concerned that she would miss the boat to find a nice guy the older she gets. That's why she wants to do all - date, reduce weight, work, school and paying off debt.

That’s a silly argument because the quality of guy she can find when she’s in a better place at 48 will be better than what she finds now at 44.

This is all mental and what she believes in. If she thinks, she is getting older and time is passing to find a good match then that's what would happen and reading her post, it sounds like that. You need to be confident and have your s**t together before going into a relationship. If it is just about sex for her then that's easy to get.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You need to prioritize your health (lose weight, 33% is really really high) and financial wellbeing. Once you feel good and stable in both aspects, then you date.

But that would take her years and OP is concerned that she would miss the boat to find a nice guy the older she gets. That's why she wants to do all - date, reduce weight, work, school and paying off debt.

That’s a silly argument because the quality of guy she can find when she’s in a better place at 48 will be better than what she finds now at 44.

Anonymous wrote:You need to prioritize your health (lose weight, 33% is really really high) and financial wellbeing. Once you feel good and stable in both aspects, then you date.

But that would take her years and OP is concerned that she would miss the boat to find a nice guy the older she gets. That's why she wants to do all - date, reduce weight, work, school and paying off debt.

You need to prioritize your health (lose weight, 33% is really really high) and financial wellbeing. Once you feel good and stable in both aspects, then you date.

everyone has been telling her about it.

Also, how would someone know if she could hide it for a while and let the guy fall for her and cover most of the expenses.

the current path for OP is unsustainable. she needs to change one or the other things - school or extra hours at job to cut the debt. She is already close to $90K in debt and it will increase to more than $120-130K if don't start reducing it significantly.

May be Op's step-daughter could do an MBA from a top school and wipe out her previous debt but I doubt she is that motivated.