Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a Jew with a very non-Jewish name - don’t do it. My whole life, everyone has assumed I’m not Jewish or a convert. Which isn’t the end of the world but it gets tedious. When I got married the rabbi grilled me about whether I was sure I wasn’t a convert, because of my name.

If you must call her Mary, then name her Miriam and use Mary as a nickname.

Also your other kids have very religious sounding Jewish names and if you add Mary, people will think she’s adopted and not converted. With Miriam, even nicknamed Mary, they won’t think that.

THIS. I've had to jump through hoops to prove that I'm Jewish because of my non-Jewish name (especially when getting married). I swear they practically did a full-blown background check on me. They wanted the names of my parents, my grandparents, etc. They wanted to know which cemeteries my older ancestors are buried in. They wanted to know where my family emigrated from. Thankfully, my parents were able to give me their ketubah that I was able to eventually provide as proof to easily put the doubt to rest.

If your daughter is even slightly interested in her Jewish identity and wants to be actively involved in her Jewish community, being named Mary will be a nightmare for her logistically speaking.

Why does anyone even choose to be part of a community that is so exclusive and unwelcoming? That is a choice.

This proves to me that humans are still very tribalistic.

So we should give up our community because it has some rules that some see as outdated? Judaism is a religion of rules.

Do you renounce your citizenship when your government does something you disagree with?

No, I didn’t mean that Jewish people should give up Judaism as a whole. The previous poster said that, because she has a non-Jewish name, she was basically put through an extensive background check to prove that she’s Jewish in order to be able to participate in her own community. I was asking why not join more mainstream Jewish communities that are more inclusive and welcoming. I know that they exist.

What about the second part?

I meant that, when presented with the option, most humans will choose opportunities for exclusion rather than inclusion. We’re still tribalistic in that way. We want what feels exclusive and special (even if it’s to our own detriment) rather than what feels inclusive and ordinary.

The previous poster “jumped through hoops” (in her own words) to join a Jewish community that is unwelcoming rather than a Jewish community that is welcoming. She chose to pursue acceptance from that group even when they were being exclusionary toward her and skeptical of her due to her name. There is something to be said about the psychology behind that.

Love how every thread on Judaism devolves into this antisemitic cr*p.

Because you need it explained to you - just because they wanted to verify her genealogy (in a matrilineal religion) prior to a marriage doesn’t mean that she felt unwelcome. If you think this is unwelcome wait until you find out about how you have to prove you are Catholic to get married in a Catholic Church!

Apparently you didn't read what previous posters have stated. As far as I'm aware, the Catholic Church does not doubt that someone is Catholic on the basis of their name.

Anonymous wrote:I've always liked the name Mary, but we're very much a Jewish family. It's not a common name among (even secular) Jews for an obvious reason. I guess I'm just wondering how odd it would be. Our last name is identifiably Jewish, so that is my main concern. I just don't want her full name to sound like a bad stand-up comedy joke to others. I know that Miriam is an option, but I don't like it as much. We already have daughters named Naomi, Malkah, and Tovah. We considered Mary for each of our other daughters but ended up not going with it every time.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mary was the mother of Jesus who was born a Jew.

Sorry, but that’s like saying, Jesus is Jewish name! It’s not.

But a Jewish woman gave that name to her son, who was a Jew.

Sorry. Not everyone can be a Jew.

Except if you are born of a Jewish mom, like Jesus.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a Jew with a very non-Jewish name - don’t do it. My whole life, everyone has assumed I’m not Jewish or a convert. Which isn’t the end of the world but it gets tedious. When I got married the rabbi grilled me about whether I was sure I wasn’t a convert, because of my name.

If you must call her Mary, then name her Miriam and use Mary as a nickname.

Also your other kids have very religious sounding Jewish names and if you add Mary, people will think she’s adopted and not converted. With Miriam, even nicknamed Mary, they won’t think that.

THIS. I've had to jump through hoops to prove that I'm Jewish because of my non-Jewish name (especially when getting married). I swear they practically did a full-blown background check on me. They wanted the names of my parents, my grandparents, etc. They wanted to know which cemeteries my older ancestors are buried in. They wanted to know where my family emigrated from. Thankfully, my parents were able to give me their ketubah that I was able to eventually provide as proof to easily put the doubt to rest.

If your daughter is even slightly interested in her Jewish identity and wants to be actively involved in her Jewish community, being named Mary will be a nightmare for her logistically speaking.

Why does anyone even choose to be part of a community that is so exclusive and unwelcoming? That is a choice.

This proves to me that humans are still very tribalistic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mary was the mother of Jesus who was born a Jew.

Sorry, but that’s like saying, Jesus is Jewish name! It’s not.

But a Jewish woman gave that name to her son, who was a Jew.

Sorry. Not everyone can be a Jew.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a Jew with a very non-Jewish name - don’t do it. My whole life, everyone has assumed I’m not Jewish or a convert. Which isn’t the end of the world but it gets tedious. When I got married the rabbi grilled me about whether I was sure I wasn’t a convert, because of my name.

If you must call her Mary, then name her Miriam and use Mary as a nickname.

Also your other kids have very religious sounding Jewish names and if you add Mary, people will think she’s adopted and not converted. With Miriam, even nicknamed Mary, they won’t think that.

THIS. I've had to jump through hoops to prove that I'm Jewish because of my non-Jewish name (especially when getting married). I swear they practically did a full-blown background check on me. They wanted the names of my parents, my grandparents, etc. They wanted to know which cemeteries my older ancestors are buried in. They wanted to know where my family emigrated from. Thankfully, my parents were able to give me their ketubah that I was able to eventually provide as proof to easily put the doubt to rest.

If your daughter is even slightly interested in her Jewish identity and wants to be actively involved in her Jewish community, being named Mary will be a nightmare for her logistically speaking.

Why does anyone even choose to be part of a community that is so exclusive and unwelcoming? That is a choice.

This proves to me that humans are still very tribalistic.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mary was the mother of Jesus who was born a Jew.

Sorry, but that’s like saying, Jesus is Jewish name! It’s not.

But a Jewish woman gave that name to her son, who was a Jew.

Anonymous wrote:I know 2 Jewish “Marys” but they are Meri’s short for Meredith

Funny, though, I’m also a Jewish “Kristin” but my parents spelled my name Cairistin

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Mary was the mother of Jesus who was born a Jew.

Sorry, but that’s like saying, Jesus is Jewish name! It’s not.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:As a Jew with a very non-Jewish name - don’t do it. My whole life, everyone has assumed I’m not Jewish or a convert. Which isn’t the end of the world but it gets tedious. When I got married the rabbi grilled me about whether I was sure I wasn’t a convert, because of my name.

If you must call her Mary, then name her Miriam and use Mary as a nickname.

Also your other kids have very religious sounding Jewish names and if you add Mary, people will think she’s adopted and not converted. With Miriam, even nicknamed Mary, they won’t think that.

THIS. I've had to jump through hoops to prove that I'm Jewish because of my non-Jewish name (especially when getting married). I swear they practically did a full-blown background check on me. They wanted the names of my parents, my grandparents, etc. They wanted to know which cemeteries my older ancestors are buried in. They wanted to know where my family emigrated from. Thankfully, my parents were able to give me their ketubah that I was able to eventually provide as proof to easily put the doubt to rest.

If your daughter is even slightly interested in her Jewish identity and wants to be actively involved in her Jewish community, being named Mary will be a nightmare for her logistically speaking.

Anonymous wrote:Mary was the mother of Jesus who was born a Jew.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've always liked the name Mary, but we're very much a Jewish family. It's not a common name among (even secular) Jews for an obvious reason. I guess I'm just wondering how odd it would be. Our last name is identifiably Jewish, so that is my main concern. I just don't want her full name to sound like a bad stand-up comedy joke to others. I know that Miriam is an option, but I don't like it as much. We already have daughters named Naomi, Malkah, and Tovah. We considered Mary for each of our other daughters but ended up not going with it every time.

You have daughters named Malkah and Tovah and you’re considering Mary? This has to be a goof. Those aren’t just Jewish names, those are really, really, Jewish names.

The OP said in a previous comment that Malkah and Tovah are names of family members that have passed away with hs added onto the end.

Anonymous wrote:The most famous Mary in history was Jewish.