Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:DH here: IMO, zero chance it was accidental. If I accidentally touched a woman’s butt in that way, I’d be mortified and immediately apologize to defuse the situation. Most likely this was an “accidentally on purpose” kind of deal; but I’m not sure there is much more you can do than avoid him in the future. People like this tend to be very well calibrated in terms of how far they can push the envelope without making it easy for people to call them out, he will no doubt respond with something like “OMG, i had no idea and totally didn’t mean to, just making my way through a crowded place, so sorry, etc. etc.”

What makes you so sure you would know if you touched a butt, back, side, or something else? Particularly if it was the side/outside of your hand.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
A bunch of posters ran with the sexual assault scenario when this clearly screams accident. The person probably didn't even notice he had touched OP's lower back. It's just not important.

You guys all need to come back down to earth.

Yeah im sure the dude is just a butterfingers squeezing through small spaces. Bet he accidentally grazes his male friends junk all the time. No? Just women?

ha ha, EXACTLY. My husband has never been like, OMG, Mark just groped me! No. Men CAN avoid it and DO avoid it. Until they want to grope somebody's butt.

Exactly! Is he accidentally touching his male boss at work? Did he accidentally touch other men at this party? Or did he see an opportunity to put his hands on a woman he expected to be too shocked to speak up?

It’s so transparent and it’s really sad to see people trying to justify assault gaslight op.

Uhh, it absolutely happens between guys. e.g., on a crowded metro train or walking through a crowded bar. Most people wouldn't think anything of it.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You must be sending him the vibes that made him feel okay to touch your butt

I would keep my distance from that man. I wouldn’t mention this to my friend unless you intend to lose her. She might have an even more ignorant view than the one posted above and try to blame you.

I would mention this to my own DH though to make sure someone has my back.

She should tell the friend. Obviously the aren't going to keep hanging out with handsy husband so friend deserves to know why. Also, I would want to know if my husband was going around grabbing my friends' butts. I would want Op to tell me.

Op I’m circling back to warn you strongly not to say anything about this to your friend. She will be embarrassed and blame you or she will outright blame you and she will distance herself from you to keep her husband. That won’t end well it never does. Remember women are always wrong and men are blameless or forgiven.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
A bunch of posters ran with the sexual assault scenario when this clearly screams accident. The person probably didn't even notice he had touched OP's lower back. It's just not important.

You guys all need to come back down to earth.

Yeah im sure the dude is just a butterfingers squeezing through small spaces. Bet he accidentally grazes his male friends junk all the time. No? Just women?

ha ha, EXACTLY. My husband has never been like, OMG, Mark just groped me! No. Men CAN avoid it and DO avoid it. Until they want to grope somebody's butt.

Exactly! Is he accidentally touching his male boss at work? Did he accidentally touch other men at this party? Or did he see an opportunity to put his hands on a woman he expected to be too shocked to speak up?

It’s so transparent and it’s really sad to see people trying to justify assault gaslight op.

Anonymous wrote:DH here: IMO, zero chance it was accidental. If I accidentally touched a woman’s butt in that way, I’d be mortified and immediately apologize to defuse the situation. Most likely this was an “accidentally on purpose” kind of deal; but I’m not sure there is much more you can do than avoid him in the future. People like this tend to be very well calibrated in terms of how far they can push the envelope without making it easy for people to call them out, he will no doubt respond with something like “OMG, i had no idea and totally didn’t mean to, just making my way through a crowded place, so sorry, etc. etc.”

Anonymous wrote:Op, I’d tell your husband. Not your friend. Sounds like one of those situations where he did something somewhere that you wouldn’t be able to be sure what he was doing, and it’s going exactly as he intended.

Tell your husband and just stay away from him at future events or avoid him altogether.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:That’s SA to me.
I’d tell the friend and report him.

This sound crazy to me. OP is supposed to file a sexual assault report with the police because her friend's husband's hand grazed her butt and it may have been done on purpose -- but maybe not.

OP - If you've been friends with this couple for a while and this is an isolated incident, as I infer from your post, I would give the husband the benefit of the doubt. After this, I'd be on guard. Should there be another incident, it's a different story.

P.S. In case it matters, I'm a woman.

This is quite literally the definition of SA. Attitudes like this are why victims often don’t get proper justice. Benefit of the doubt? What?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You must be sending him the vibes that made him feel okay to touch your butt

I would keep my distance from that man. I wouldn’t mention this to my friend unless you intend to lose her. She might have an even more ignorant view than the one posted above and try to blame you.

I would mention this to my own DH though to make sure someone has my back.

She should tell the friend. Obviously the aren't going to keep hanging out with handsy husband so friend deserves to know why. Also, I would want to know if my husband was going around grabbing my friends' butts. I would want Op to tell me.

Op I’m circling back to warn you strongly not to say anything about this to your friend. She will be embarrassed and blame you or she will outright blame you and she will distance herself from you to keep her husband. That won’t end well it never does. Remember women are always wrong and men are blameless or forgiven.

Anonymous wrote:Dude knew what he was doing and was testing the waters. It’s not point confronting directly because he’ll pretend he doesn’t understand what you’re talking about, it was an accident, yada yada and turn the tables on you to make you look crazy. Make sure you’re never alone with him again and tell your husband so that there’s a record.