Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here, back for an update. It's almost Valentine's Day. Normally my mom sends the kids more junk food than we can eat or give away, and after Christmas she figured out that I throw a lot of it away. This upset her. She wants to give a gift to the kids so I suggested cards and arts or crafts stuff. She seemed satisfied with that. Now she has re-raised the topic, asked what she can send in addition to that, and said "Don't worry, I won't ask you to wrap it so it won't be a burden to you."

I'm just not answering further texts on this topic. At least I won't be asked to wrap ever again!!?

Wow. This must be so hard for. Hope you're doing ok. Hugs.

I found it humorous.

Anonymous wrote:OP here, back for an update. It's almost Valentine's Day. Normally my mom sends the kids more junk food than we can eat or give away, and after Christmas she figured out that I throw a lot of it away. This upset her. She wants to give a gift to the kids so I suggested cards and arts or crafts stuff. She seemed satisfied with that. Now she has re-raised the topic, asked what she can send in addition to that, and said "Don't worry, I won't ask you to wrap it so it won't be a burden to you."

I'm just not answering further texts on this topic. At least I won't be asked to wrap ever again!!?

Wow. This must be so hard for. Hope you're doing ok. Hugs.

OP here, back for an update. It's almost Valentine's Day. Normally my mom sends the kids more junk food than we can eat or give away, and after Christmas she figured out that I throw a lot of it away. This upset her. She wants to give a gift to the kids so I suggested cards and arts or crafts stuff. She seemed satisfied with that. Now she has re-raised the topic, asked what she can send in addition to that, and said "Don't worry, I won't ask you to wrap it so it won't be a burden to you."

I'm just not answering further texts on this topic. At least I won't be asked to wrap ever again!!?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Update from the OP:

My mom asked me to buy Xmas gifts for my kids and wrap them on her behalf. Ok, fine, shppped the cyber Monday sales and got it done.

Today she called to tell me she did her own shopping and I will be getting a bunch of boxes from Amazon and I can return the stuff I bought from her. The stuff I bought came from all different stores and won't be easy to return. I haven't answered her several calls on this issue because I'm too annoyed. Why?!

What a hassle! If she didn't check the Amazon mark as gift box when ordering it is a hideous process. Sad to write it but you need to set a precedent by returning all her amazon junk in 1 trip to UPS or Whole foods. I have GC and anything we buy for them is prescreened. We plus another are like the only gifters those parents have any control over. Adult DC also chooses what/if any consumables are sent to them and enjoys making selections on that stuff for other family households.

There's no gift receipts or even packing slips with anything that has shown up from Amazon so far. Multiple relatives sent stuff so now I am following up with everyone on what's what. I host every Thanksgiving and Christmas at my house, including multiple nites of houseguests, and I have all my own gifts to buy and wrap. Everyone needs to be able to take on this gift task alone next year. I'm out of bandwidth!

Yeah just say "no" next year- this is nuts!!

+1, are all these gifts to be wrapped by you? I’d tell anyone that send anything, unwrapped and untagged that it was going to be donated. Next year, I’d put it put in late summer that the wrapping station is closed permanently and things will be put out unwrapped and untagged. Anything not claimed by a kid come 12/26 was headed for goodwill.

OP here- yes, these gifts are to be wrapped by me, after I solve the mystery of who sent what.

Also, I have an update. My mom arrived today. After telling me to buy all the gifts to give to my kids from her, then telling me to return her gifts bc she found her own stuff (which has been showing up from Amazon for me to wrap), she finally arrived tonight with additional wrapped gifts that she brought with her, plus bags of kids toys that her neighbor couldn't sell at a garage sale that she also wants to give to my kids. Also this neighbor sent gifts for my kids besides the garage sale stuff.

Oh hell no to the garage sale leftovers! Let the rest go through but die on this hill.

That's where I ultimately came down. I died so hard on that hill. Everyone has a breaking point.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Update from the OP:

My mom asked me to buy Xmas gifts for my kids and wrap them on her behalf. Ok, fine, shppped the cyber Monday sales and got it done.

Today she called to tell me she did her own shopping and I will be getting a bunch of boxes from Amazon and I can return the stuff I bought from her. The stuff I bought came from all different stores and won't be easy to return. I haven't answered her several calls on this issue because I'm too annoyed. Why?!

What a hassle! If she didn't check the Amazon mark as gift box when ordering it is a hideous process. Sad to write it but you need to set a precedent by returning all her amazon junk in 1 trip to UPS or Whole foods. I have GC and anything we buy for them is prescreened. We plus another are like the only gifters those parents have any control over. Adult DC also chooses what/if any consumables are sent to them and enjoys making selections on that stuff for other family households.

There's no gift receipts or even packing slips with anything that has shown up from Amazon so far. Multiple relatives sent stuff so now I am following up with everyone on what's what. I host every Thanksgiving and Christmas at my house, including multiple nites of houseguests, and I have all my own gifts to buy and wrap. Everyone needs to be able to take on this gift task alone next year. I'm out of bandwidth!

Yeah just say "no" next year- this is nuts!!

+1, are all these gifts to be wrapped by you? I’d tell anyone that send anything, unwrapped and untagged that it was going to be donated. Next year, I’d put it put in late summer that the wrapping station is closed permanently and things will be put out unwrapped and untagged. Anything not claimed by a kid come 12/26 was headed for goodwill.

OP here- yes, these gifts are to be wrapped by me, after I solve the mystery of who sent what.

Also, I have an update. My mom arrived today. After telling me to buy all the gifts to give to my kids from her, then telling me to return her gifts bc she found her own stuff (which has been showing up from Amazon for me to wrap), she finally arrived tonight with additional wrapped gifts that she brought with her, plus bags of kids toys that her neighbor couldn't sell at a garage sale that she also wants to give to my kids. Also this neighbor sent gifts for my kids besides the garage sale stuff.

Oh hell no to the garage sale leftovers! Let the rest go through but die on this hill.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Update from the OP:

My mom asked me to buy Xmas gifts for my kids and wrap them on her behalf. Ok, fine, shppped the cyber Monday sales and got it done.

Today she called to tell me she did her own shopping and I will be getting a bunch of boxes from Amazon and I can return the stuff I bought from her. The stuff I bought came from all different stores and won't be easy to return. I haven't answered her several calls on this issue because I'm too annoyed. Why?!

What a hassle! If she didn't check the Amazon mark as gift box when ordering it is a hideous process. Sad to write it but you need to set a precedent by returning all her amazon junk in 1 trip to UPS or Whole foods. I have GC and anything we buy for them is prescreened. We plus another are like the only gifters those parents have any control over. Adult DC also chooses what/if any consumables are sent to them and enjoys making selections on that stuff for other family households.

There's no gift receipts or even packing slips with anything that has shown up from Amazon so far. Multiple relatives sent stuff so now I am following up with everyone on what's what. I host every Thanksgiving and Christmas at my house, including multiple nites of houseguests, and I have all my own gifts to buy and wrap. Everyone needs to be able to take on this gift task alone next year. I'm out of bandwidth!

Yeah just say "no" next year- this is nuts!!

+1, are all these gifts to be wrapped by you? I’d tell anyone that send anything, unwrapped and untagged that it was going to be donated. Next year, I’d put it put in late summer that the wrapping station is closed permanently and things will be put out unwrapped and untagged. Anything not claimed by a kid come 12/26 was headed for goodwill.

OP here- yes, these gifts are to be wrapped by me, after I solve the mystery of who sent what.

Also, I have an update. My mom arrived today. After telling me to buy all the gifts to give to my kids from her, then telling me to return her gifts bc she found her own stuff (which has been showing up from Amazon for me to wrap), she finally arrived tonight with additional wrapped gifts that she brought with her, plus bags of kids toys that her neighbor couldn't sell at a garage sale that she also wants to give to my kids. Also this neighbor sent gifts for my kids besides the garage sale stuff.

Anonymous wrote:I hear you OP.

My husband and I go to my sister’s house each year for Christmas and she and her DH go all-out on decorations, presents for their kids and everyone else that visits, fancy prime rib, caviar, and stockings for EVERYONE (not just kids). It is overwhelming.

We would prefer to just get one small thing for each of our nieces and nephews and be done with it, nothing between adults, but we feel pressured into doing more so we don’t come across as stingy cheapskate aunts and uncles. I mean, what’s the point of giving your nephew a Best Buy gift card for $25 if the next present he opens is an iPhone 17 from his parents? How can we convince my sister and BIL to dial things back?

We get around this by doing the extended family gifts on Christmas Eve and immediate family only on Christmas Day. If you're going there just for Christmas Day are they waiting for you to get there to give their kids gifts? That would be odd to wait around all day.

An interesting thing happened this year after I told my parents we weren't shopping Amazon or Target. They still asked us for ideas, but didn't insist we sent links because they did want to buy from Amazon. Turns out they can, in fact, Google stuff.

I also did not help my mom asking me what she should get my childhood best friend's kids/family when they visit. I told her to just get toys for the kids. I think she's planning to give them a small food basket as a family gift. IMO that does come off cheap...but it wasn't my problem!

I just get frustrated by texts on my commute at 7 AM asking what to get people for Christmas a month before I've even started shopping for my own kids. It's because online shopping makes it too easy to foist on someone else but still feel like you did it. Well, we are back to the time honored tradition of running around to stores every December weekend, everyone's invited to join me if they want.

Anonymous wrote:I hear you OP.

My husband and I go to my sister’s house each year for Christmas and she and her DH go all-out on decorations, presents for their kids and everyone else that visits, fancy prime rib, caviar, and stockings for EVERYONE (not just kids). It is overwhelming.

We would prefer to just get one small thing for each of our nieces and nephews and be done with it, nothing between adults, but we feel pressured into doing more so we don’t come across as stingy cheapskate aunts and uncles. I mean, what’s the point of giving your nephew a Best Buy gift card for $25 if the next present he opens is an iPhone 17 from his parents? How can we convince my sister and BIL to dial things back?

You can't, it's their family holiday. You can give small gifts and that's fine. I never expected my aunts and uncles to get anything large scale or equal to my parents, and did appreciate the $20 and a card when they sent it.

My SIL is like this, they have everything. Their now young adult kids now make a point of getting each other unique handmade stuff. We get them small "this reminded me of you" gifts and consumables.

I hear you OP.

My husband and I go to my sister’s house each year for Christmas and she and her DH go all-out on decorations, presents for their kids and everyone else that visits, fancy prime rib, caviar, and stockings for EVERYONE (not just kids). It is overwhelming.

We would prefer to just get one small thing for each of our nieces and nephews and be done with it, nothing between adults, but we feel pressured into doing more so we don’t come across as stingy cheapskate aunts and uncles. I mean, what’s the point of giving your nephew a Best Buy gift card for $25 if the next present he opens is an iPhone 17 from his parents? How can we convince my sister and BIL to dial things back?

I have asked all the extended family to give my kids ornaments. Each kid has their own tree so they do get used and appreciated,
and breakable ones are on our family tree. I jot down in a book who they came from and when and remind the family that they are giving lifetime gifts. This is working well so far!

Anonymous wrote:Same, since the kids were toddlers. Every year of this. My older one is 12 and doesn’t want anything. It’s more about the bored grandparents needing something to do.

I've got a SIL/BIL that buy piles for each GC for all their adult kid households. We don't get it since 1 nice thing plus some cash in an envelope, food consumable mailed to the family's house, and 529 contribution would be loved by all.

Secret Santa. Each family member, including the kids, gets a different family member (not in their immediate family). The kids get a gift and they have the fun of shopping for one as well.

Same, since the kids were toddlers. Every year of this. My older one is 12 and doesn’t want anything. It’s more about the bored grandparents needing something to do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Update from the OP:

My mom asked me to buy Xmas gifts for my kids and wrap them on her behalf. Ok, fine, shppped the cyber Monday sales and got it done.

Today she called to tell me she did her own shopping and I will be getting a bunch of boxes from Amazon and I can return the stuff I bought from her. The stuff I bought came from all different stores and won't be easy to return. I haven't answered her several calls on this issue because I'm too annoyed. Why?!

What a hassle! If she didn't check the Amazon mark as gift box when ordering it is a hideous process. Sad to write it but you need to set a precedent by returning all her amazon junk in 1 trip to UPS or Whole foods. I have GC and anything we buy for them is prescreened. We plus another are like the only gifters those parents have any control over. Adult DC also chooses what/if any consumables are sent to them and enjoys making selections on that stuff for other family households.

There's no gift receipts or even packing slips with anything that has shown up from Amazon so far. Multiple relatives sent stuff so now I am following up with everyone on what's what. I host every Thanksgiving and Christmas at my house, including multiple nites of houseguests, and I have all my own gifts to buy and wrap. Everyone needs to be able to take on this gift task alone next year. I'm out of bandwidth!

Yeah just say "no" next year- this is nuts!!

+1, are all these gifts to be wrapped by you? I’d tell anyone that send anything, unwrapped and untagged that it was going to be donated. Next year, I’d put it put in late summer that the wrapping station is closed permanently and things will be put out unwrapped and untagged. Anything not claimed by a kid come 12/26 was headed for goodwill.