Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For example, do wealthy students often stick together — they tend to hang out on luxury private islands and build their own exclusive networks?

It does not happen at my kids T10 nor my ivy 28 yrs ago. Almost everyone is friends with kids who are super rich and those on full aid. There are more than half attending on aid these days . It is even less stratified than it used to be.

But how does your kid afford to go to the DR for Duke freshman year spring break and stay at Casa de Campo? Are you footing the bill?
or
Cornell Greek Week (freshman year in PR; sophomore year in DR)?

Yes, I have kids at both schools....everyone has a car by sophomore year (if not freshman year at Cornell). Its pricey. And I can afford it.
But I know there are a lot of kids not included.

Anonymous wrote:For example, do wealthy students often stick together — they tend to hang out on luxury private islands and build their own exclusive networks?

It does not happen at my kids T10 nor my ivy 28 yrs ago. Almost everyone is friends with kids who are super rich and those on full aid. There are more than half attending on aid these days . It is even less stratified than it used to be.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another thing is that many wealthy kids don't eat in the dining halls. they pay for the freshman meal plan but then eat almost every meal out (or get takeout, door dash, etc). Both of my kids report this (Ivy and another top 20).

+1
My kid at an ivy says the same. Also the wealthier kids now go out to nice restaurants for dinner and drinks. In my college days (also an ivy), friends of all socio-economic levels went out for pizza and pitchers of beer - which was affordable by all. Things have changed...

Yes. Sushi dinners and/or steakhouses.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Another thing is that many wealthy kids don't eat in the dining halls. they pay for the freshman meal plan but then eat almost every meal out (or get takeout, door dash, etc). Both of my kids report this (Ivy and another top 20).

+1
My kid at an ivy says the same. Also the wealthier kids now go out to nice restaurants for dinner and drinks. In my college days (also an ivy), friends of all socio-economic levels went out for pizza and pitchers of beer - which was affordable by all. Things have changed...

Like usual I would blame this on social media. Constant need to be seen in the right places and show off how cool you are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes and by race or nationality. Berkeley in particular is very segregated among the student groups despite its brand ethos of diversity and inclusion.

Wow... I'd love to hear more about racial segregation. California being the most liberal state, this is surprising

lol you left off the /s

Asian students mostly hang out within their ethnic groups. Especially the ones who are the first gen children of immigrants.

Anonymous wrote:Another thing is that many wealthy kids don't eat in the dining halls. they pay for the freshman meal plan but then eat almost every meal out (or get takeout, door dash, etc). Both of my kids report this (Ivy and another top 20).

+1
My kid at an ivy says the same. Also the wealthier kids now go out to nice restaurants for dinner and drinks. In my college days (also an ivy), friends of all socio-economic levels went out for pizza and pitchers of beer - which was affordable by all. Things have changed...

Anonymous wrote:Another thing is that many wealthy kids don't eat in the dining halls. they pay for the freshman meal plan but then eat almost every meal out (or get takeout, door dash, etc). Both of my kids report this (Ivy and another top 20).

Yes, this is true.

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, but if all your friends are in the broad middle class you might not notice. The categories are very large. You're probably not going to socialize with the kid who has access to a private jet and helicopters. That person will include whoever their roommates are, perhaps, but most of their circle will also be composed of rich kids who understand what that life is like.

Watch the FBOs at Nashville, Ithaca, Durham, Palwaukee (north of Evanston), South Bend, and Hanover for parents' weekend or big game weekends.
That's how you know what that school is "really" like.

What's an FBO??

Private airport for Netjets and private planes.

Is Evanston for Northwestern and UChicago? Or just Northwestern? Seems like lots of private school/boarding at both?

The Palwaukee airport is about 20-30 minutes away from Evanston. UChicago is on the South Side of the city and would be at least an hour away with no traffic.

Another thing is that many wealthy kids don't eat in the dining halls. they pay for the freshman meal plan but then eat almost every meal out (or get takeout, door dash, etc). Both of my kids report this (Ivy and another top 20).

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes, 100%
My son is at any Ivy and reports that all NYC private school kids and boarding school kids stick together. Several of them have parents who bought houses near the Ivy
that sit mostly empty (freshman year) but that the kids use to party. Also they get local country club memberships for their 4 years and the kids all play golf together.
My kid attended a top private and has been invited to party and golf, etc but told me "They're fine but I don't want my entire social experience to revolve around them" --because apparently it's a pretty all-consuming group.

this is pretty common at most schools in T20.

In general, society is already divided. Just look at the neighborhood and zoning

+1 this is just how America works.

This is how it works everywhere.

True, the rich separate them selves everywhere. Vacation spots, hobbies, neighborhoods, clothing brands. It’s everywhere when you pay attention.

And? Go get yourself the best education you can get and make a living and a life for yourself. Some people are going to go off to their ski houses or some tropical island over winter break and so what?

The key issue is connection—this is what really matters for ambitious middle-class students. If those expensive, prestigious private schools can't provide meaningful connections, the return on investment is too low, especially for middle-class families who are likely paying close to full tuition.

I don’t understand the issue? You can connect with other middle class people. Don’t be such a striver.

+1000000
What is up with all of you? This post is creepy.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Yes and by race or nationality. Berkeley in particular is very segregated among the student groups despite its brand ethos of diversity and inclusion.

Wow... I'd love to hear more about racial segregation. California being the most liberal state, this is surprising

lol you left off the /s

Yes, kids segregate by wealth. As some schools, it starts with the dorms and the wealthier students living in the nicer, more expensive dorms. Then they move off campus and, again, the wealthier students move into more expensive housing. Then there are the clubs, whether they’re supper clubs or fraternities/sororities- these are segregated by economic status. The wealthier kids also dine at restaurants, drink at bars, take nice trips together, perhaps belong to the same upscale gym, etc. Their college lives are different from a MC kid’s college life.

I think every school today is made up of silos of private school kids, international kids, the athletes, specific religious/ethnicities, the uber wealthy (regardless of race/ethnicity), the performing arts kids, etc. This happens in both private colleges and public flagships. In flagships, you have the additional silos of in state amd out of state. A lot of the separation is driven by wealth, geography, and identity groups. I was actually shocked by how much my current college freahman connected with future classmates before school even started. Vetting for roommates, pre summer get togethers, etc. Not as much organic friendship creation these days... it is also significantly different today vs when my older kid started college 6 years ago.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So the supposed value of attending an elite private school for access to the 'right' network—whether for career or marriage—doesn’t necessarily benefit middle-class families.

For a middle class family, the real "connections" would be derived by going to an elite K-8 or K-12. Kids in kindergarten don't care about or see wealth and many close friendships and genuine relationships are formed during those years. They start becoming aware of who has what in later middle/early high school.

But in college, everyone is friendly but the truly rich migrate to other truly rich kids who can keep up with their lifestyle.

+1

Anonymous wrote:True connections are made long before college - during K-12 private school. It's a large part of why people pay $$$ for private school. connections are made long before college.

I grew up MC/public school, and my best friend and my boyfriend in college both came from money and went to private school. Oops, sorry!