Anonymous
Post 10/17/2025 11:03     Subject: Re:Dating must-haves, wish lists and dealbreakers

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"A lot of you sound like crazy old trolls. Why are you so upset about the 40 year old who has her pick of guys? Why isn't she allowed to have standards or preferences?"

+100

I really don't get why anyone has a problem with what she's written about her approach to dating. She's taking care of her own kids financially. She's financially independent and not hunting for a rescuer. She is clever and engaging enough that men can comfortably bring her around their colleagues and clients. Let's face it - most SAHMs are not the sort of people you could do that with, and a certain type of man values that. It's a very attractive quality to women too. My partner was someone I took to a client's annual party at her Annapolis waterfront estate within the first month of dating him. I loved that I knew he'd show up wearing the right thing, with the right bottle of wine for the hostess, and that he charmed all the people I wanted to impress.

And why should she, or anybody, remarry anyone who can't substantially improve her current situation? She doesn't NEED a man. She's only going to put up with the downsides of marriage if the good stuff outweighs them. Makes sense to me.


I guess you missed the part where PP said was a SAHM. And she of course she doesn’t look down on other women, while repeating the condescending things the men she chooses to associate with said about other women.


It’s not condescending for men to say they want a woman who has more to offer than birthing children.

I work with a lot of guys in their 20s/30s, and the #1 dating complaint I hear is that they’ll meet a woman who is nice and pretty, but she has no ambition or goals for her life. It’s okay for men to have preferences.

Not really sure why it’s fine for women to say they don’t want a broke, lazy man, but not vice versa.


But these women are encouraged to be that way. They are simply living the “cozy-girl,” or “soft-girl” life.


That’s just marketing, same with the tradwife thing. Influencers who make a full-time salary convincing other women they shouldn’t have to work.

I don’t know any young, single men who are attracted to that. Most want an equal partner. In fact last night I chatted with a 31 year old male colleague and good friend who owns a successful business; he just broke up with his 21 year old, beautiful Filipina girlfriend because she didn’t want to do anything with her life, just wanted to get married to him and have kids. He wants someone who doesn’t necessarily have the same level of wealth, but also has drive so they can build an empire together.

Older men with kids might be into a younger woman who can stay home and raise his kids.


Ask that young guy who is staying home from work when the kid is sick.


A nanny


Ok, you clearly don't understand the issue. Good luck to you!
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2025 10:49     Subject: Re:Dating must-haves, wish lists and dealbreakers

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"A lot of you sound like crazy old trolls. Why are you so upset about the 40 year old who has her pick of guys? Why isn't she allowed to have standards or preferences?"

+100

I really don't get why anyone has a problem with what she's written about her approach to dating. She's taking care of her own kids financially. She's financially independent and not hunting for a rescuer. She is clever and engaging enough that men can comfortably bring her around their colleagues and clients. Let's face it - most SAHMs are not the sort of people you could do that with, and a certain type of man values that. It's a very attractive quality to women too. My partner was someone I took to a client's annual party at her Annapolis waterfront estate within the first month of dating him. I loved that I knew he'd show up wearing the right thing, with the right bottle of wine for the hostess, and that he charmed all the people I wanted to impress.

And why should she, or anybody, remarry anyone who can't substantially improve her current situation? She doesn't NEED a man. She's only going to put up with the downsides of marriage if the good stuff outweighs them. Makes sense to me.


I guess you missed the part where PP said was a SAHM. And she of course she doesn’t look down on other women, while repeating the condescending things the men she chooses to associate with said about other women.


It’s not condescending for men to say they want a woman who has more to offer than birthing children.

I work with a lot of guys in their 20s/30s, and the #1 dating complaint I hear is that they’ll meet a woman who is nice and pretty, but she has no ambition or goals for her life. It’s okay for men to have preferences.

Not really sure why it’s fine for women to say they don’t want a broke, lazy man, but not vice versa.


But these women are encouraged to be that way. They are simply living the “cozy-girl,” or “soft-girl” life.


That’s just marketing, same with the tradwife thing. Influencers who make a full-time salary convincing other women they shouldn’t have to work.

I don’t know any young, single men who are attracted to that. Most want an equal partner. In fact last night I chatted with a 31 year old male colleague and good friend who owns a successful business; he just broke up with his 21 year old, beautiful Filipina girlfriend because she didn’t want to do anything with her life, just wanted to get married to him and have kids. He wants someone who doesn’t necessarily have the same level of wealth, but also has drive so they can build an empire together.

Older men with kids might be into a younger woman who can stay home and raise his kids.


True. DS just broke up with his GF, and this was the main reason. They started dating while in college. Both graduated (several years ago) and she now seems to view him as the plan rather than building her own career.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2025 10:46     Subject: Dating must-haves, wish lists and dealbreakers

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Some of these posts about relationship incompatibilities like the one on early birds and night owls and vegetarians/vegans and meat eaters are really eye-opening. People want to find someone they are attracted to, similar values, available, feel the same about kids or not kids, and more but then there are these more lifestyle issues like sleep schedules, approach to food, approach to fitness.

I feel like the list of what many people will not compromise for is really long. How many people who meet your criteria are you actually meeting? I just can't believe there are that many people that would generate that spark who also happen to be compatible in all these other ways. Am I wrong?


Imo look for decent character, even temper, ability to humor life, healthy ambition and good financial sense. No alcohol, drugs, violence, legal issues, broken relationships, credit debt etc. More points if decent enough family with no legal, financial, substance abuse or serious mental health issues.



I assume you don't mean romantic relationships, since everyone has those unless they married the first person they ever dated.
Anonymous
Post 10/17/2025 10:43     Subject: Re:Dating must-haves, wish lists and dealbreakers

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"A lot of you sound like crazy old trolls. Why are you so upset about the 40 year old who has her pick of guys? Why isn't she allowed to have standards or preferences?"

+100

I really don't get why anyone has a problem with what she's written about her approach to dating. She's taking care of her own kids financially. She's financially independent and not hunting for a rescuer. She is clever and engaging enough that men can comfortably bring her around their colleagues and clients. Let's face it - most SAHMs are not the sort of people you could do that with, and a certain type of man values that. It's a very attractive quality to women too. My partner was someone I took to a client's annual party at her Annapolis waterfront estate within the first month of dating him. I loved that I knew he'd show up wearing the right thing, with the right bottle of wine for the hostess, and that he charmed all the people I wanted to impress.

And why should she, or anybody, remarry anyone who can't substantially improve her current situation? She doesn't NEED a man. She's only going to put up with the downsides of marriage if the good stuff outweighs them. Makes sense to me.


I guess you missed the part where PP said was a SAHM. And she of course she doesn’t look down on other women, while repeating the condescending things the men she chooses to associate with said about other women.


It’s not condescending for men to say they want a woman who has more to offer than birthing children.

I work with a lot of guys in their 20s/30s, and the #1 dating complaint I hear is that they’ll meet a woman who is nice and pretty, but she has no ambition or goals for her life. It’s okay for men to have preferences.

Not really sure why it’s fine for women to say they don’t want a broke, lazy man, but not vice versa.


But these women are encouraged to be that way. They are simply living the “cozy-girl,” or “soft-girl” life.


That’s just marketing, same with the tradwife thing. Influencers who make a full-time salary convincing other women they shouldn’t have to work.

I don’t know any young, single men who are attracted to that. Most want an equal partner. In fact last night I chatted with a 31 year old male colleague and good friend who owns a successful business; he just broke up with his 21 year old, beautiful Filipina girlfriend because she didn’t want to do anything with her life, just wanted to get married to him and have kids. He wants someone who doesn’t necessarily have the same level of wealth, but also has drive so they can build an empire together.

Older men with kids might be into a younger woman who can stay home and raise his kids.


Ask that young guy who is staying home from work when the kid is sick.


A nanny
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2025 14:23     Subject: Re:Dating must-haves, wish lists and dealbreakers

Anonymous wrote:Not really sure why it’s fine for women to say they don’t want a broke, lazy man, but not vice versa.


Anonymous wrote: Except wanting to be a SAHM isn't the same as broke and lazy you know this.


This is bizarre projection to conclude people are talking about SAHMs. H. L. Mencken wrote "a misogynist is a man who hates women more than they hate each other." Men want to avoid marrying childless women who will become lazy mothers. Yet sexist women assume these men are talking about SAHMs instead of single women.
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2025 12:44     Subject: Re:Dating must-haves, wish lists and dealbreakers

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"A lot of you sound like crazy old trolls. Why are you so upset about the 40 year old who has her pick of guys? Why isn't she allowed to have standards or preferences?"

+100

I really don't get why anyone has a problem with what she's written about her approach to dating. She's taking care of her own kids financially. She's financially independent and not hunting for a rescuer. She is clever and engaging enough that men can comfortably bring her around their colleagues and clients. Let's face it - most SAHMs are not the sort of people you could do that with, and a certain type of man values that. It's a very attractive quality to women too. My partner was someone I took to a client's annual party at her Annapolis waterfront estate within the first month of dating him. I loved that I knew he'd show up wearing the right thing, with the right bottle of wine for the hostess, and that he charmed all the people I wanted to impress.

And why should she, or anybody, remarry anyone who can't substantially improve her current situation? She doesn't NEED a man. She's only going to put up with the downsides of marriage if the good stuff outweighs them. Makes sense to me.


I guess you missed the part where PP said was a SAHM. And she of course she doesn’t look down on other women, while repeating the condescending things the men she chooses to associate with said about other women.


It’s not condescending for men to say they want a woman who has more to offer than birthing children.

I work with a lot of guys in their 20s/30s, and the #1 dating complaint I hear is that they’ll meet a woman who is nice and pretty, but she has no ambition or goals for her life. It’s okay for men to have preferences.

Not really sure why it’s fine for women to say they don’t want a broke, lazy man, but not vice versa.


But these women are encouraged to be that way. They are simply living the “cozy-girl,” or “soft-girl” life.


That’s just marketing, same with the tradwife thing. Influencers who make a full-time salary convincing other women they shouldn’t have to work.

I don’t know any young, single men who are attracted to that. Most want an equal partner. In fact last night I chatted with a 31 year old male colleague and good friend who owns a successful business; he just broke up with his 21 year old, beautiful Filipina girlfriend because she didn’t want to do anything with her life, just wanted to get married to him and have kids. He wants someone who doesn’t necessarily have the same level of wealth, but also has drive so they can build an empire together.

Older men with kids might be into a younger woman who can stay home and raise his kids.


Except there's a whole movement of young men pushing for sage. So save your BS for somewhere else.
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2025 12:41     Subject: Re:Dating must-haves, wish lists and dealbreakers

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"A lot of you sound like crazy old trolls. Why are you so upset about the 40 year old who has her pick of guys? Why isn't she allowed to have standards or preferences?"

+100

I really don't get why anyone has a problem with what she's written about her approach to dating. She's taking care of her own kids financially. She's financially independent and not hunting for a rescuer. She is clever and engaging enough that men can comfortably bring her around their colleagues and clients. Let's face it - most SAHMs are not the sort of people you could do that with, and a certain type of man values that. It's a very attractive quality to women too. My partner was someone I took to a client's annual party at her Annapolis waterfront estate within the first month of dating him. I loved that I knew he'd show up wearing the right thing, with the right bottle of wine for the hostess, and that he charmed all the people I wanted to impress.

And why should she, or anybody, remarry anyone who can't substantially improve her current situation? She doesn't NEED a man. She's only going to put up with the downsides of marriage if the good stuff outweighs them. Makes sense to me.


I guess you missed the part where PP said was a SAHM. And she of course she doesn’t look down on other women, while repeating the condescending things the men she chooses to associate with said about other women.


It’s not condescending for men to say they want a woman who has more to offer than birthing children.

I work with a lot of guys in their 20s/30s, and the #1 dating complaint I hear is that they’ll meet a woman who is nice and pretty, but she has no ambition or goals for her life. It’s okay for men to have preferences.

Not really sure why it’s fine for women to say they don’t want a broke, lazy man, but not vice versa.


But these women are encouraged to be that way. They are simply living the “cozy-girl,” or “soft-girl” life.


That’s just marketing, same with the tradwife thing. Influencers who make a full-time salary convincing other women they shouldn’t have to work.

I don’t know any young, single men who are attracted to that. Most want an equal partner. In fact last night I chatted with a 31 year old male colleague and good friend who owns a successful business; he just broke up with his 21 year old, beautiful Filipina girlfriend because she didn’t want to do anything with her life, just wanted to get married to him and have kids. He wants someone who doesn’t necessarily have the same level of wealth, but also has drive so they can build an empire together.

Older men with kids might be into a younger woman who can stay home and raise his kids.


Ask that young guy who is staying home from work when the kid is sick.
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2025 12:04     Subject: Re:Dating must-haves, wish lists and dealbreakers

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Not really sure why it’s fine for women to say they don’t want a broke, lazy man, but not vice versa.


I agree and think it was inappropriate to attack you for saying this. The infamous misogynist Roissy/Heartiste had a point when he caustically blogged "It’s Time To Start Calling Out Women Who Are Losers." Women on this forum judge men constantly and we have this long thread that focuses on dating requirements for men. Yet men's labor force participation and income still exceeds women's. Personally I met a plenty of unemployed alcoholics, drug addicts, and custody-abductors while dating women in my forties.

The Wikipedia article on The Rules says that book taught women "to play games that toy with men" and "that the emergence of seduction communities happened "almost as a direct response to this hard-to-get femininity". The book basically taught women to play hard-to-get. To be fair, it might help some women set healthy boundaries. The women authors had no professional qualifications and cited no sources. One of them subsequently divorced.



1. Except wanting to be a SAHM isn't the same as broke and lazy you know this.

2. You braindead manosphere posters should be banned from posting here


It’s not about SAHMs, it’s single women without kids who don’t bother having ambitions or careers because they just want a man to take care of them and let them be SAHMs. Those women are usually broke and often lazy.

Some men like that, and that’s fine. Some men don’t like that, and that’s fine, too.


Hey I want a woman like that as long as she will take care of everything. From cooking, to cleaning, to budgeting etc. I make good money and I have great spending habits. And one more requirement. I want sex everyday, except when she sicks or on her period.

Where can I find such a woman?

We won't have the lifestyle of a billionaire but I am both a CPA and an actuary and already make $301k/year at 33. Hopefully I'll keep.making more.

I am single because from the age of 23 to 33 all I was doing was studying for exams, some of which I had to take 3 times. But now I am all done.


You’ll never find one of those, they don’t exist. Women who are truly able to take care of everything have superior executive functioning which they are applying somewhere else and progressing in their career. If you meet a single woman who doesn’t have much going on professionally and claims she is ready to become a SAHM and take care of everything, just say no.

Way back when you could find your Sandra Day and keep her home. Not anymore.

Anonymous
Post 10/16/2025 11:59     Subject: Dating must-haves, wish lists and dealbreakers

Ability to laugh at themselves
Non-smoker
Kind
Responsible
Have a passport / desire for Intl travel

I am reformed Jewish. Same religion would be nice but not mandatory.

I am liberal, democratic. Would be nice to find that, too, but as long as they are NOT conservative cult members, that would be ok.

I never found this so I am happily single witb a daughter I adopted at birth. Best thing ever!
She will be 12 next week.
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2025 11:53     Subject: Re:Dating must-haves, wish lists and dealbreakers

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"A lot of you sound like crazy old trolls. Why are you so upset about the 40 year old who has her pick of guys? Why isn't she allowed to have standards or preferences?"

+100

I really don't get why anyone has a problem with what she's written about her approach to dating. She's taking care of her own kids financially. She's financially independent and not hunting for a rescuer. She is clever and engaging enough that men can comfortably bring her around their colleagues and clients. Let's face it - most SAHMs are not the sort of people you could do that with, and a certain type of man values that. It's a very attractive quality to women too. My partner was someone I took to a client's annual party at her Annapolis waterfront estate within the first month of dating him. I loved that I knew he'd show up wearing the right thing, with the right bottle of wine for the hostess, and that he charmed all the people I wanted to impress.

And why should she, or anybody, remarry anyone who can't substantially improve her current situation? She doesn't NEED a man. She's only going to put up with the downsides of marriage if the good stuff outweighs them. Makes sense to me.


I guess you missed the part where PP said was a SAHM. And she of course she doesn’t look down on other women, while repeating the condescending things the men she chooses to associate with said about other women.


It’s not condescending for men to say they want a woman who has more to offer than birthing children.

I work with a lot of guys in their 20s/30s, and the #1 dating complaint I hear is that they’ll meet a woman who is nice and pretty, but she has no ambition or goals for her life. It’s okay for men to have preferences.

Not really sure why it’s fine for women to say they don’t want a broke, lazy man, but not vice versa.


But these women are encouraged to be that way. They are simply living the “cozy-girl,” or “soft-girl” life.


That’s just marketing, same with the tradwife thing. Influencers who make a full-time salary convincing other women they shouldn’t have to work.

I don’t know any young, single men who are attracted to that. Most want an equal partner. In fact last night I chatted with a 31 year old male colleague and good friend who owns a successful business; he just broke up with his 21 year old, beautiful Filipina girlfriend because she didn’t want to do anything with her life, just wanted to get married to him and have kids. He wants someone who doesn’t necessarily have the same level of wealth, but also has drive so they can build an empire together.

Older men with kids might be into a younger woman who can stay home and raise his kids.


But, there is nothing wrong with that!

Plus: being a SAHM is a full time job. It’s the height of misogyny to suggest otherwise.


It is if you and your partner decided it should be. It is not a unilateral decision that a woman can make on her own.
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2025 10:53     Subject: Re:Dating must-haves, wish lists and dealbreakers

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"A lot of you sound like crazy old trolls. Why are you so upset about the 40 year old who has her pick of guys? Why isn't she allowed to have standards or preferences?"

+100

I really don't get why anyone has a problem with what she's written about her approach to dating. She's taking care of her own kids financially. She's financially independent and not hunting for a rescuer. She is clever and engaging enough that men can comfortably bring her around their colleagues and clients. Let's face it - most SAHMs are not the sort of people you could do that with, and a certain type of man values that. It's a very attractive quality to women too. My partner was someone I took to a client's annual party at her Annapolis waterfront estate within the first month of dating him. I loved that I knew he'd show up wearing the right thing, with the right bottle of wine for the hostess, and that he charmed all the people I wanted to impress.

And why should she, or anybody, remarry anyone who can't substantially improve her current situation? She doesn't NEED a man. She's only going to put up with the downsides of marriage if the good stuff outweighs them. Makes sense to me.


I guess you missed the part where PP said was a SAHM. And she of course she doesn’t look down on other women, while repeating the condescending things the men she chooses to associate with said about other women.


It’s not condescending for men to say they want a woman who has more to offer than birthing children.

I work with a lot of guys in their 20s/30s, and the #1 dating complaint I hear is that they’ll meet a woman who is nice and pretty, but she has no ambition or goals for her life. It’s okay for men to have preferences.

Not really sure why it’s fine for women to say they don’t want a broke, lazy man, but not vice versa.


But these women are encouraged to be that way. They are simply living the “cozy-girl,” or “soft-girl” life.


That’s just marketing, same with the tradwife thing. Influencers who make a full-time salary convincing other women they shouldn’t have to work.

I don’t know any young, single men who are attracted to that. Most want an equal partner. In fact last night I chatted with a 31 year old male colleague and good friend who owns a successful business; he just broke up with his 21 year old, beautiful Filipina girlfriend because she didn’t want to do anything with her life, just wanted to get married to him and have kids. He wants someone who doesn’t necessarily have the same level of wealth, but also has drive so they can build an empire together.

Older men with kids might be into a younger woman who can stay home and raise his kids.


But, there is nothing wrong with that!

Plus: being a SAHM is a full time job. It’s the height of misogyny to suggest otherwise.


And there is also nothing wrong with men rejecting women like that because they want something different.

Just because you want to be a SAHM does not mean you are entitled to a man.
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2025 10:46     Subject: Re:Dating must-haves, wish lists and dealbreakers

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Not really sure why it’s fine for women to say they don’t want a broke, lazy man, but not vice versa.


I agree and think it was inappropriate to attack you for saying this. The infamous misogynist Roissy/Heartiste had a point when he caustically blogged "It’s Time To Start Calling Out Women Who Are Losers." Women on this forum judge men constantly and we have this long thread that focuses on dating requirements for men. Yet men's labor force participation and income still exceeds women's. Personally I met a plenty of unemployed alcoholics, drug addicts, and custody-abductors while dating women in my forties.

The Wikipedia article on The Rules says that book taught women "to play games that toy with men" and "that the emergence of seduction communities happened "almost as a direct response to this hard-to-get femininity". The book basically taught women to play hard-to-get. To be fair, it might help some women set healthy boundaries. The women authors had no professional qualifications and cited no sources. One of them subsequently divorced.



1. Except wanting to be a SAHM isn't the same as broke and lazy you know this.

2. You braindead manosphere posters should be banned from posting here


It’s not about SAHMs, it’s single women without kids who don’t bother having ambitions or careers because they just want a man to take care of them and let them be SAHMs. Those women are usually broke and often lazy.

Some men like that, and that’s fine. Some men don’t like that, and that’s fine, too.


Hey I want a woman like that as long as she will take care of everything. From cooking, to cleaning, to budgeting etc. I make good money and I have great spending habits. And one more requirement. I want sex everyday, except when she sicks or on her period.

Where can I find such a woman?

We won't have the lifestyle of a billionaire but I am both a CPA and an actuary and already make $301k/year at 33. Hopefully I'll keep.making more.

I am single because from the age of 23 to 33 all I was doing was studying for exams, some of which I had to take 3 times. But now I am all done.
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2025 10:38     Subject: Re:Dating must-haves, wish lists and dealbreakers

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"A lot of you sound like crazy old trolls. Why are you so upset about the 40 year old who has her pick of guys? Why isn't she allowed to have standards or preferences?"

+100

I really don't get why anyone has a problem with what she's written about her approach to dating. She's taking care of her own kids financially. She's financially independent and not hunting for a rescuer. She is clever and engaging enough that men can comfortably bring her around their colleagues and clients. Let's face it - most SAHMs are not the sort of people you could do that with, and a certain type of man values that. It's a very attractive quality to women too. My partner was someone I took to a client's annual party at her Annapolis waterfront estate within the first month of dating him. I loved that I knew he'd show up wearing the right thing, with the right bottle of wine for the hostess, and that he charmed all the people I wanted to impress.

And why should she, or anybody, remarry anyone who can't substantially improve her current situation? She doesn't NEED a man. She's only going to put up with the downsides of marriage if the good stuff outweighs them. Makes sense to me.


I guess you missed the part where PP said was a SAHM. And she of course she doesn’t look down on other women, while repeating the condescending things the men she chooses to associate with said about other women.


It’s not condescending for men to say they want a woman who has more to offer than birthing children.

I work with a lot of guys in their 20s/30s, and the #1 dating complaint I hear is that they’ll meet a woman who is nice and pretty, but she has no ambition or goals for her life. It’s okay for men to have preferences.

Not really sure why it’s fine for women to say they don’t want a broke, lazy man, but not vice versa.


But these women are encouraged to be that way. They are simply living the “cozy-girl,” or “soft-girl” life.


That’s just marketing, same with the tradwife thing. Influencers who make a full-time salary convincing other women they shouldn’t have to work.

I don’t know any young, single men who are attracted to that. Most want an equal partner. In fact last night I chatted with a 31 year old male colleague and good friend who owns a successful business; he just broke up with his 21 year old, beautiful Filipina girlfriend because she didn’t want to do anything with her life, just wanted to get married to him and have kids. He wants someone who doesn’t necessarily have the same level of wealth, but also has drive so they can build an empire together.

Older men with kids might be into a younger woman who can stay home and raise his kids.


But, there is nothing wrong with that!

Plus: being a SAHM is a full time job. It’s the height of misogyny to suggest otherwise.
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2025 10:28     Subject: Re:Dating must-haves, wish lists and dealbreakers

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:"A lot of you sound like crazy old trolls. Why are you so upset about the 40 year old who has her pick of guys? Why isn't she allowed to have standards or preferences?"

+100

I really don't get why anyone has a problem with what she's written about her approach to dating. She's taking care of her own kids financially. She's financially independent and not hunting for a rescuer. She is clever and engaging enough that men can comfortably bring her around their colleagues and clients. Let's face it - most SAHMs are not the sort of people you could do that with, and a certain type of man values that. It's a very attractive quality to women too. My partner was someone I took to a client's annual party at her Annapolis waterfront estate within the first month of dating him. I loved that I knew he'd show up wearing the right thing, with the right bottle of wine for the hostess, and that he charmed all the people I wanted to impress.

And why should she, or anybody, remarry anyone who can't substantially improve her current situation? She doesn't NEED a man. She's only going to put up with the downsides of marriage if the good stuff outweighs them. Makes sense to me.


I guess you missed the part where PP said was a SAHM. And she of course she doesn’t look down on other women, while repeating the condescending things the men she chooses to associate with said about other women.


It’s not condescending for men to say they want a woman who has more to offer than birthing children.

I work with a lot of guys in their 20s/30s, and the #1 dating complaint I hear is that they’ll meet a woman who is nice and pretty, but she has no ambition or goals for her life. It’s okay for men to have preferences.

Not really sure why it’s fine for women to say they don’t want a broke, lazy man, but not vice versa.


But these women are encouraged to be that way. They are simply living the “cozy-girl,” or “soft-girl” life.


That’s just marketing, same with the tradwife thing. Influencers who make a full-time salary convincing other women they shouldn’t have to work.

I don’t know any young, single men who are attracted to that. Most want an equal partner. In fact last night I chatted with a 31 year old male colleague and good friend who owns a successful business; he just broke up with his 21 year old, beautiful Filipina girlfriend because she didn’t want to do anything with her life, just wanted to get married to him and have kids. He wants someone who doesn’t necessarily have the same level of wealth, but also has drive so they can build an empire together.

Older men with kids might be into a younger woman who can stay home and raise his kids.
Anonymous
Post 10/16/2025 10:19     Subject: Re:Dating must-haves, wish lists and dealbreakers

Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Not really sure why it’s fine for women to say they don’t want a broke, lazy man, but not vice versa.


I agree and think it was inappropriate to attack you for saying this. The infamous misogynist Roissy/Heartiste had a point when he caustically blogged "It’s Time To Start Calling Out Women Who Are Losers." Women on this forum judge men constantly and we have this long thread that focuses on dating requirements for men. Yet men's labor force participation and income still exceeds women's. Personally I met a plenty of unemployed alcoholics, drug addicts, and custody-abductors while dating women in my forties.

The Wikipedia article on The Rules says that book taught women "to play games that toy with men" and "that the emergence of seduction communities happened "almost as a direct response to this hard-to-get femininity". The book basically taught women to play hard-to-get. To be fair, it might help some women set healthy boundaries. The women authors had no professional qualifications and cited no sources. One of them subsequently divorced.



1. Except wanting to be a SAHM isn't the same as broke and lazy you know this.

2. You braindead manosphere posters should be banned from posting here


It’s not about SAHMs, it’s single women without kids who don’t bother having ambitions or careers because they just want a man to take care of them and let them be SAHMs. Those women are usually broke and often lazy.

Some men like that, and that’s fine. Some men don’t like that, and that’s fine, too.