Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a young Boomer but sans grandkids.

My friends all babysit their grandkids for trips or special occasions. But not doing full time childcare, because they are still.working or brand new retirees who are enjoying free time.

But not doing childcare.

Boomers worked all their lives and now enjoying free schedules and traveling.

That is unlike the greatest generation and silent generation grandmas, which didn't have the burden of full time jobs on top of all the work at home.

Except most Boomers will never work as much or as hard as their millennial children because they began their careers at a time when work/life balance still existed in most industries and they spent the majority of their working years without cell phones and an expectation that they would be accessible to work 24/7. So, as usual, the millennials are left with the short end of the stick while the Boomers are just tone deaf and don't realize how much different their children's working and parents lives are.

That's not true for attorneys and doctors. We had pagers, Blackberries, email and phones. Accessibility was expected for those professions.

sociology grad here.

I was also raised to be independent. It did not turn out well. I have had to rely on my parents for money, but maybe that has to do with the cost of living crisis as well (I'm "only" 30). My kids grandparents are on the border of boomer/gen x. I don't even ask for help financially, they just know it's needed and do it without asking. I'm talking a good 1.5k a month when I am underemployed.

Because of this, I do not expect anything as far as grandparent childcare. I have a co-parent to help with that, as well as the after school program. I just got a new teaching job, so hopefully I will not need my parents financially anymore. Anyways, we see them about once a month, they live an hour away. This past year we have done quite a few weekend trips though, along with a week long vacation.

Their other grandparents are very wealthy but they won't help financially. They told my children's father that if we separated they would not babysit anymore. My ex MIL doesn't think his time spent with the kids should be spent with her, and I see her point. He does hang out with the kids over there often, and they love the kids and do fun stuff with them like crafts and baking. Ex is struggling big time financially, even though he makes more than me.

Anyways, point is grandparents help in different ways, but I feel for those who are unhelpful. Definitely ties to the latch key kid thing.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guess their biggest mistake was raising entitled brats. Did your parents work? Must be if you were latch key. Your parents are tired. Kids are hard work. You’re the one demanding help. Did your grandparents watch you? Playing a game of cards with your friends is nothing like running after kids, or even having the energy to talk to them. Hope you’re a troll. If your kids are like you I wouldn’t want to be around them either.

Agree. An entire generation.

Yeah when you think about it that way, boomers were pretty crummy parents because their adult kids are whiny and not self-sufficient. How did that happen?

Speak for yourself.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Guess their biggest mistake was raising entitled brats. Did your parents work? Must be if you were latch key. Your parents are tired. Kids are hard work. You’re the one demanding help. Did your grandparents watch you? Playing a game of cards with your friends is nothing like running after kids, or even having the energy to talk to them. Hope you’re a troll. If your kids are like you I wouldn’t want to be around them either.

Agree. An entire generation.

Yeah when you think about it that way, boomers were pretty crummy parents because their adult kids are whiny and not self-sufficient. How did that happen?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am a young Boomer but sans grandkids.

My friends all babysit their grandkids for trips or special occasions. But not doing full time childcare, because they are still.working or brand new retirees who are enjoying free time.

But not doing childcare.

Boomers worked all their lives and now enjoying free schedules and traveling.

That is unlike the greatest generation and silent generation grandmas, which didn't have the burden of full time jobs on top of all the work at home.

Except most Boomers will never work as much or as hard as their millennial children because they began their careers at a time when work/life balance still existed in most industries and they spent the majority of their working years without cell phones and an expectation that they would be accessible to work 24/7. So, as usual, the millennials are left with the short end of the stick while the Boomers are just tone deaf and don't realize how much different their children's working and parents lives are.

Sorry "working from home in your jammies" didn't pan out.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re supposed to be independent. Do you understand the meaning of that word? There’s your answer.

+1000

+20000000000

+ 100 billion gazillion. We don't want to watch your brats, k? My retirement schedule is full and rich, childrearing is of the past.

Anonymous wrote:I am a young Boomer but sans grandkids.

My friends all babysit their grandkids for trips or special occasions. But not doing full time childcare, because they are still.working or brand new retirees who are enjoying free time.

But not doing childcare.

Boomers worked all their lives and now enjoying free schedules and traveling.

That is unlike the greatest generation and silent generation grandmas, which didn't have the burden of full time jobs on top of all the work at home.

Except most Boomers will never work as much or as hard as their millennial children because they began their careers at a time when work/life balance still existed in most industries and they spent the majority of their working years without cell phones and an expectation that they would be accessible to work 24/7. So, as usual, the millennials are left with the short end of the stick while the Boomers are just tone deaf and don't realize how much different their children's working and parents lives are.

Anonymous wrote:Guess their biggest mistake was raising entitled brats. Did your parents work? Must be if you were latch key. Your parents are tired. Kids are hard work. You’re the one demanding help. Did your grandparents watch you? Playing a game of cards with your friends is nothing like running after kids, or even having the energy to talk to them. Hope you’re a troll. If your kids are like you I wouldn’t want to be around them either.

Agree. An entire generation.

Anonymous wrote: I think a lot of kids our age were very independent early on, and so we kept being independent.Parents didn’t even think to help because we were “fine” without help and we never spoke up. Should they think to help? Yes, as a mom I don’t relate to not helping my kids just bc they don’t ask. Then the 1980+ generation imo shifted and they received more help and actually demand it. So I think it’s a whole dynamic rather than pure selfishness.

People keep saying this which makes it clear your own grandparents were not around. If they were you wouldn't have needed to be so independent. Why do you expect different? This is normal.

Anonymous wrote:My mom was a helicopter mom raising me but it's like pulling teeth to get her to come help for a week or two, and when she does come, she complains the entire time. Then she wonders why her grandkids never want to call her...

So you’re forcing her to come “help” when she clearly doesn’t want to, and then you’re shocked she complains? Sounds like you’re setting everyone up for a bad time, including your kids.

I think a lot of kids our age were very independent early on, and so we kept being independent.Parents didn’t even think to help because we were “fine” without help and we never spoke up. Should they think to help? Yes, as a mom I don’t relate to not helping my kids just bc they don’t ask. Then the 1980+ generation imo shifted and they received more help and actually demand it. So I think it’s a whole dynamic rather than pure selfishness.

I think they rebelled against their parents, the traditional family scenario. Then the guilt seeped in, and they can’t admit it.

Dad was silent generation and had a harder life than mom. He was a loving grandparent. Mom was border of silent and boomer and parentified us young. Never expected her to be involved, but I was stunned with how entitled she was as she aged. I helped her a lot with dad and tried to help her once he was gone, but had to step back when DH developed health issues. OMG was she horrid and angry that he took precedence. Keep in mind she has no major health issues, is able bodied and has plenty of money to hire a personal slave. She barely did a thing for her own parents beyond visit now and then and be showered with praise. She didn't seem to like her grandkids, but yet wants them doing more for her too. They aren't even adults yet.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You’re supposed to be independent. Do you understand the meaning of that word? There’s your answer.

+1000

+20000000000

Guess their biggest mistake was raising entitled brats. Did your parents work? Must be if you were latch key. Your parents are tired. Kids are hard work. You’re the one demanding help. Did your grandparents watch you? Playing a game of cards with your friends is nothing like running after kids, or even having the energy to talk to them. Hope you’re a troll. If your kids are like you I wouldn’t want to be around them either.