Anonymous wrote:I am upper middle class but have known a lot of RICH people and can say that upper middle class wants-for-little-but-flies-premium-economy-on-their-own-dime is the best scenario. You have everyting you need, almost everything you want (almost is KEY), can afford education and experiences for your kids, who then have to go work to replicate the lifestyle and don't have an easy opportunity to fall into bad lifestyle habits (laziness, drugs, etc...).

“Almost” is key.

When people can buy everything they could possibly want and more, that’s when they get often get weird. It gets harder to get that dopamine and endorphin rush that the rest of us get when we finally buy those nice winter boots we’ve had our eye on or that Viking range we’ve always wanted.

If they’re well-adjusted, they seek it by being charitable (Melinda Gates, MacKenzie Scott).

If they’re not, they seek it by breaking laws, lying, cheating, stealing, and doing risky, stupid things. Hence Epstein Island, piloting their own planes without proper training, and diving to the titanic in a makeshift submarine.

Man, I wish I knew some of the kids of parents here when I was growing up. I went to a school and was friends with some very, very wealthy kids. I was upper middle class but no where near on their level. I was only in with them because I was good at sports, smart and pretty.

I mostly liked those kids at the time, but looking back, they were total shits. Definitely not aware of their privilege and lacking empathy in a lot of respects. I am 100% sure their parents thought they walked on water in all respects and loved to talk about their “volunteering.” Made me very well aware of my place. Would be much nicer to have run with these incredibly wealthy but equally self aware kids of parents posting here!

We have a very high net worth, in the high 8 figures all from hard work, saving from an early age and investing smartly. My husband led the turnaround of two companies and equity was a big part of his compensation. Our lifestyle is not "ultra" but likely consistent with someone with a net worth of $20M so it's pretty darn nice. Our married adult children are all very successful on their own and we didn't gift them anything until they were in their early 30's. Yes, we did pay for their educations which is a big gift. Now we fund nice annual gifts plus we have set up 529's for all of their children and that funding took place soon after birth. We have set up irrevocable trusts that are generation skipping so the majority of the principal will go to our grandchildren and their children. Our kids will benefit from annual interest and dividends and be very helpful for their retirements. With the high lifetime exemption continuing and growing next year to $15M we will likely stop putting money into the trusts and just straight gift the annual increases to our kids since they won't get principal from the trusts unless needed. Finally, a big percent of our NW is in a charitable trust and when we die what ever is left over in our estate (e.g. sales of homes) will go into that trust which will then be managed by our children. The goal is to avoid any estate taxes. Other than the trusts we have avoided complex estate planning which is all designed by expensive lawyers to avoid taxes. Giving it to charity will help us do that. Making all of this easy is that our kids are great, succeeding on their own, are best friends and really work hard to succeed on their own as we did.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our net worth is approaching $40M. Kids in middle and high school. Yes, I expect them to work and they’ve always known that. I’ve also been clear that they should not expect to inherit the lions share of our wealth. We’ll cover them through school but I’m not certain they’ll get anything after that and they know that too.

That much money was not meant to be inherited.

Then what is the point of making that much money if not to pass down to your kids and their kids?

agree. that response sounds so dumb

+1

And I'm in a similar NW (about $35M, likely to be over $70-80M in a few years). Our kids are out of college and finishing college. They are forging their path in life, they know they have to work/create a life for themselves. They also know they can choose to work in public service/non profits or whatever they really want to do and will have financial support if needed. They have a great work ethic and are good members of society (volunteering, etc). They also recognize their privilege and the fact their lives are 1000% easier than most people's. Simply having college and grad school (if/when desired) fully paid for is something they greatly appreciate. But they live well within their means and don't waste money. As long as they do that, they will continue to received funds and a nice inheritance from us. We expect it to last several generations---education for our kids, grandkids and beyond is important, as well as getting all medical needs and therapies met. If we can help our kids and their spouses (none yet) have better lives by living closer to work and in a great school district (huge supporter of public schools still), that is awesome. Knowing they dont' have to save as much for retirement or their own kids college is huge---remove that from the equation and your lifestyle improves greatly.

But we earned our $$$ ourselves, no inheritances for us, so we get to choose how it's spent (family versus charity) and while a lot will go to charity, we will work to ensure the next 2-3 generations (and hopefully beyond) have a very nice lifestyle. It can last several generations if everyone uses it to supplement and has a great work ethic as well. That is the goal and how the trusts are spelled out

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our net worth is approaching $40M. Kids in middle and high school. Yes, I expect them to work and they’ve always known that. I’ve also been clear that they should not expect to inherit the lions share of our wealth. We’ll cover them through school but I’m not certain they’ll get anything after that and they know that too.

That much money was not meant to be inherited.

Then what is the point of making that much money if not to pass down to your kids and their kids?

agree. that response sounds so dumb