Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These articles focus on career “success” and not money “success”.

The insurance policy is that the graduates have rich friends and/or marry someone rich. How many parents on this board earned their 1% vs married their 1%? I am semi-successful professsionally from a meh-private college; my money comes from my husband’s family, not my career.

Sure if your only goal for your kids is that they enter the 1% and marry rich - you should sweat getting them into Princeton. I don’t think that is the only goal most parents have for their kids. Maybe I am wrong.

It isn’t marrying rich for me. It’s being around the right cohort. It matters in the long run.

If you want to make lifelong connections to the "right cohort" you should put energy in getting your kid into the "right" K-8 or K-12. The lifelong friendships are made then, and private school students at elite colleges often hang with other kids who went to similar private elementary/high schools. Elite college is cliquey but in kindergarten the kids are so young they don't care. That's been my experience having gone to private K-12 in NYC myself, putting my kids through that now, and having one at so-called "top 20" elite college now.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Curious about these network effects you think will boost you into a new social class?

I was a poor white kid heading to an Ivy; I didn’t hang out with the super rich kids who spent every weekend on some expensive getaway, or even eating at restaurants, and school nights drinking. I didn’t even have cash to go to a coffee shop or things like that.

I was working late in labs and working 15 hrs for work study job. They majored in history or literature and often had already read the material while at elite high schools, so had a lot more leisure time.

I can see if you are a strong player on a sports team, and networking there, or a hot girl, you can mingle with the upper class, but they weren’t going to be besties with me because I helped them with their laptop! They stuck to their own circles mostly, and circumstances reinforced that.

It is different at elites now and it started changing in the late 90s when more and more aided students and diverse students were admitted. Now well over half are on need based aid, meaning over half have work-study jobs. Even those who are full pay often have research or TA jobs which are paid. White and rich is a distinct minority, and even that group which includes my kid, usually choose to work to build the resume. Outside of athletic teams which are not a large portion of undergrads at ivies, there is a lot of mixing. Those who choose greek or other organizations do not have the Southern-greek dynamics of class division and thousands of $ a semester and focused on new clothing for multiple events. Greek is not needed and when chosen it is very reasonable cost compared to big publics, without the shallow focus.
On campus college-sponsored events are cheap or free; they bring in many high-level speakers in a variety of fields and have large parties/concerts in spring with current artists. Off campus arts have student discounts such as $10-15 tickets.

Your description is more in line with what happens at schools that still have majority full-pay and majority greek, especially smaller schools where athletes are 35% of the student body.

Anonymous wrote:Curious about these network effects you think will boost you into a new social class?

I was a poor white kid heading to an Ivy; I didn’t hang out with the super rich kids who spent every weekend on some expensive getaway, or even eating at restaurants, and school nights drinking. I didn’t even have cash to go to a coffee shop or things like that.

I was working late in labs and working 15 hrs for work study job. They majored in history or literature and often had already read the material while at elite high schools, so had a lot more leisure time.

I can see if you are a strong player on a sports team, and networking there, or a hot girl, you can mingle with the upper class, but they weren’t going to be besties with me because I helped them with their laptop! They stuck to their own circles mostly, and circumstances reinforced that.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These articles focus on career “success” and not money “success”.

The insurance policy is that the graduates have rich friends and/or marry someone rich. How many parents on this board earned their 1% vs married their 1%? I am semi-successful professsionally from a meh-private college; my money comes from my husband’s family, not my career.

Both former low-income, heavily aided students who met at an ivy, went to med school at a different but top school, and earn top2%. Most of our adult friends are in medicine or law. About half came from no money and did not marry into significant (top-5%)money. We are younger than the ave college parents, just turned 50, college '97. Our friends are all similar. In fact the smartest two from '97 are a top lawyer and a research MD-phD.about 40% of my ivy was on need-based aid when I attended now it is 55%. parents on dcum who went to college in the 80s have a very different understanding of college compared to people from the late 90s. The legacy friends in my adult involved alum group are predominantly new to the top incomes, and were not legacies ourselves. My ivy absolutely changed my trajectory and it continues to do the same for a larger and larger portion of the undergraduate population.

People gravitate towards people like themselves.
I am going to take a guess that you didn't know anyone of generational wealth in college or grad school - because you don't know how to recognize it. While your ivy opened doors for your generation, the next generation will have a very hard time getting into an ivy because there is no pity party for children of ivy grads.
Many 1st gens that graduate into high salary figures think they have reached an UMC level of wealth but if it's not generational, the children will be wage slaves too trying to maintain the same lifestyle and similarly without any cushion.
Wealth has cushion, those kids can choose careers like art curator or non-profit work because they just need to get by. They don't need to save.

Nailed it.

We are not super wealthy but we have generational wealth (say $20-$25M NW and 1% salary). Kids are high achieving and will do well but there is a safety net for them that most just don’t have because they will never need to save for college expenses or housing down payments. Trusts will cover those things.

Nailed what? Yes you are rich. No it is not necessary to have $20 mil to lead a good life. No, your money does not guarantee your children will be happy and productive, much less your grandchildren. Nor does it prove that a kid going to UVA will never get to the same level you are at.

I only said that we aren’t desperate for Ivy+ schools as many seem to be because there is a safety net for my kids that most don’t have. I personally went to a Public school, not an elite private.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the line between wealthy and super wealthy in your book?

Approximately 0.13% of American households have a net worth above $25 million. I'd say being in the top ~.1% makes you super wealthy. Are you Bezos wealthy? No. But you're doing okay.

You didn't answer the question. Obviously we know you think $25M is. But where is the line for you between super wealthy and just plain wealthy?

Obviously depends on your lifestyle and where you live, but I’d argue that people with a net worth above $15M are super wealthy. Not quite “ultra” wealthy, but getting close.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These articles focus on career “success” and not money “success”.

The insurance policy is that the graduates have rich friends and/or marry someone rich. How many parents on this board earned their 1% vs married their 1%? I am semi-successful professsionally from a meh-private college; my money comes from my husband’s family, not my career.

Both former low-income, heavily aided students who met at an ivy, went to med school at a different but top school, and earn top2%. Most of our adult friends are in medicine or law. About half came from no money and did not marry into significant (top-5%)money. We are younger than the ave college parents, just turned 50, college '97. Our friends are all similar. In fact the smartest two from '97 are a top lawyer and a research MD-phD.about 40% of my ivy was on need-based aid when I attended now it is 55%. parents on dcum who went to college in the 80s have a very different understanding of college compared to people from the late 90s. The legacy friends in my adult involved alum group are predominantly new to the top incomes, and were not legacies ourselves. My ivy absolutely changed my trajectory and it continues to do the same for a larger and larger portion of the undergraduate population.

+1 Top undergrad, law and med schools love their URMs.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the line between wealthy and super wealthy in your book?

Approximately 0.13% of American households have a net worth above $25 million. I'd say being in the top ~.1% makes you super wealthy. Are you Bezos wealthy? No. But you're doing okay.

You didn't answer the question. Obviously we know you think $25M is. But where is the line for you between super wealthy and just plain wealthy?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These articles focus on career “success” and not money “success”.

The insurance policy is that the graduates have rich friends and/or marry someone rich. How many parents on this board earned their 1% vs married their 1%? I am semi-successful professsionally from a meh-private college; my money comes from my husband’s family, not my career.

Both former low-income, heavily aided students who met at an ivy, went to med school at a different but top school, and earn top2%. Most of our adult friends are in medicine or law. About half came from no money and did not marry into significant (top-5%)money. We are younger than the ave college parents, just turned 50, college '97. Our friends are all similar. In fact the smartest two from '97 are a top lawyer and a research MD-phD.about 40% of my ivy was on need-based aid when I attended now it is 55%. parents on dcum who went to college in the 80s have a very different understanding of college compared to people from the late 90s. The legacy friends in my adult involved alum group are predominantly new to the top incomes, and were not legacies ourselves. My ivy absolutely changed my trajectory and it continues to do the same for a larger and larger portion of the undergraduate population.

People gravitate towards people like themselves.
I am going to take a guess that you didn't know anyone of generational wealth in college or grad school - because you don't know how to recognize it. While your ivy opened doors for your generation, the next generation will have a very hard time getting into an ivy because there is no pity party for children of ivy grads.
Many 1st gens that graduate into high salary figures think they have reached an UMC level of wealth but if it's not generational, the children will be wage slaves too trying to maintain the same lifestyle and similarly without any cushion.
Wealth has cushion, those kids can choose careers like art curator or non-profit work because they just need to get by. They don't need to save.

Nailed it.

We are not super wealthy but we have generational wealth (say $20-$25M NW and 1% salary). Kids are high achieving and will do well but there is a safety net for them that most just don’t have because they will never need to save for college expenses or housing down payments. Trusts will cover those things.

Nailed what? Yes you are rich. No it is not necessary to have $20 mil to lead a good life. No, your money does not guarantee your children will be happy and productive, much less your grandchildren. Nor does it prove that a kid going to UVA will never get to the same level you are at.

Anonymous wrote:I live in the South and many of the SEC grads around me are living very comfortable lives- professional careers, beautiful homes, private schools for the kids, country club memberships, the second home, etc. the refreshing thing is that many of them aren’t hung up on the Ivies and other Ivy-type schools- it makes for a much more pleasant, normal high school experience for the kids down here. The Ivies and WASP’s and Ivy+ aren’t the only ticket to the “good life”.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These articles focus on career “success” and not money “success”.

The insurance policy is that the graduates have rich friends and/or marry someone rich. How many parents on this board earned their 1% vs married their 1%? I am semi-successful professsionally from a meh-private college; my money comes from my husband’s family, not my career.

Both former low-income, heavily aided students who met at an ivy, went to med school at a different but top school, and earn top2%. Most of our adult friends are in medicine or law. About half came from no money and did not marry into significant (top-5%)money. We are younger than the ave college parents, just turned 50, college '97. Our friends are all similar. In fact the smartest two from '97 are a top lawyer and a research MD-phD.about 40% of my ivy was on need-based aid when I attended now it is 55%. parents on dcum who went to college in the 80s have a very different understanding of college compared to people from the late 90s. The legacy friends in my adult involved alum group are predominantly new to the top incomes, and were not legacies ourselves. My ivy absolutely changed my trajectory and it continues to do the same for a larger and larger portion of the undergraduate population.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What is the line between wealthy and super wealthy in your book?

Approximately 0.13% of American households have a net worth above $25 million. I'd say being in the top ~.1% makes you super wealthy. Are you Bezos wealthy? No. But you're doing okay.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:These articles focus on career “success” and not money “success”.

The insurance policy is that the graduates have rich friends and/or marry someone rich. How many parents on this board earned their 1% vs married their 1%? I am semi-successful professsionally from a meh-private college; my money comes from my husband’s family, not my career.

Both former low-income, heavily aided students who met at an ivy, went to med school at a different but top school, and earn top2%. Most of our adult friends are in medicine or law. About half came from no money and did not marry into significant (top-5%)money. We are younger than the ave college parents, just turned 50, college '97. Our friends are all similar. In fact the smartest two from '97 are a top lawyer and a research MD-phD.about 40% of my ivy was on need-based aid when I attended now it is 55%. parents on dcum who went to college in the 80s have a very different understanding of college compared to people from the late 90s. The legacy friends in my adult involved alum group are predominantly new to the top incomes, and were not legacies ourselves. My ivy absolutely changed my trajectory and it continues to do the same for a larger and larger portion of the undergraduate population.

This is a powerful defense of Ivies as institutions but it is hardly an argument that full-pay families not already in the top 1-2% should shell out an unlimited amount of money for these schools. The top 10-20% of American households is a pretty comfortable place to be, especially if you’re not hellbent on living in the center of an expensive city and you don’t saddle your kid with massive unnecessary debt. Obviously if you have functionally unlimited money, it doesn’t matter how you spend it. Good for Ivies, for redirecting a lot of that excess wealth to poor kids. But there’s absolutely no reason families in the 85th-95th percentile should voluntarily subject themselves to that tax.

Fair point, though families in the 85-95%ile will actually qualify for the most need-based aid from the top schools: Princeton Penn MIT Yale provide aid for household incomes up to around 250k. The rest of the ivy+ is up to 200ish as a need-aid cutoff. Marginally lower ranked privates in the 24-30 range are no where close to the same financial aid yet almost as hard to get accepted to.

For the full pay families, which we are (as well as former low income/FG), some will want to pay for the name, of course, and some are so rich they do not consider 93k a year expensive.
Others will want to spend the $ even if they are not too far above the full-pay line of 250kish because our experience at similar schools made a lasting positive impression based on the experience. I wanted my kids to have what I had: uber smart peer group who became lifelong friends, small classes with engaged faculty. I wanted our kids to have a chance at the same and are quite happy and proud to be full pay as well as to donate to financial aid for the next generation who needs aid. Mine are at different ivy/elites than I attended and so far it is beyond their and our expectations, and frankly less rich-white/pretentious than our DMV private school which is a welcome change. Hopefully our third gets into a similar level of school.

We have that income level to get aid but prioritized savings over vacations, private K-12 tuition, cars, expensive clothes etc. Financial aid officers told us our savings are much higher than normal, and so no aid.