Anonymous wrote:I agree with you OP. I have two friends who volunteer for everything their kids do. They do it because they know it gets their kids things that the other kids don't get. But these moms in general have no lives of their own. I feel bad for the kids, actually, because they have nothing for themselves. They also think that they earned these special extras because of their talent/hard work, they will end up being very disappointed later in life when they realize they have to so the work or that they weren't as talented as they thought.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend’s school didn’t have enough people to even have a PTA. No one wanted to be president so they don’t have a pta at all.

My other friend’s school has no organized room parents. There is no staff appreciation. She brings in holiday treats and planned a party for her child’s class.

You should be grateful if you have a school with robust parent involvement. We moved from a mixed SES area to one of the most affluent neighborhoods in the DMV. New school is so organized with tons of volunteers. Each activity, after school club or program requires a parent to lead it. I am grateful to all those parents who are willing to step up for various things.

I was in the school with no volunteers and really it changed nothing.

To be constantly need people fluttering about bringing in cupcakes.

Teachers work hard and educate my children. I am happy to chip in or organize a breakfast or lunch for them.

I like going to my child’s Halloween party and parade, going on field trips and attending school events.

It goes by fast. I’m going to enjoy this phase.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend’s school didn’t have enough people to even have a PTA. No one wanted to be president so they don’t have a pta at all.

My other friend’s school has no organized room parents. There is no staff appreciation. She brings in holiday treats and planned a party for her child’s class.

You should be grateful if you have a school with robust parent involvement. We moved from a mixed SES area to one of the most affluent neighborhoods in the DMV. New school is so organized with tons of volunteers. Each activity, after school club or program requires a parent to lead it. I am grateful to all those parents who are willing to step up for various things.

I was in the school with no volunteers and really it changed nothing.

To be constantly need people fluttering about bringing in cupcakes.

Agree. It’s just business to keep the parents occupied. The only community it fosters is parent (mother) competition.

It can foster an actual sense of community when parents actually know each other and work together to make their children's school a friendlier and more accommodating place. I live in NYC, where things can feel transient and it can be hard to make connections . . . having my DCs in a neighborhood school where we felt welcome and supported as a family made a huge positive impact in our lives here. Volunteers (and volunteering) made that possible. Maybe you don't appreciate the cupcakes, but they aren't what it's really about. For children and families who long to feel grounded in a chaotic world, they manifest something much more important.

None of that has to be done inside the school, distracting the children, and the teachers and the administration.

I'm not sure what you think we were doing that was distracting anyone. But then you never volunteered for anything, did you?

+1. Shelving library books or making copies and putting together projects in the work rooms is hardly distracting to kids. It’s not as if the volunteers are literally sitting side by side the kids for most things. Seems like a lot of projecting from people who never volunteer.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend’s school didn’t have enough people to even have a PTA. No one wanted to be president so they don’t have a pta at all.

My other friend’s school has no organized room parents. There is no staff appreciation. She brings in holiday treats and planned a party for her child’s class.

You should be grateful if you have a school with robust parent involvement. We moved from a mixed SES area to one of the most affluent neighborhoods in the DMV. New school is so organized with tons of volunteers. Each activity, after school club or program requires a parent to lead it. I am grateful to all those parents who are willing to step up for various things.

I was in the school with no volunteers and really it changed nothing.

To be constantly need people fluttering about bringing in cupcakes.

Agree. It’s just business to keep the parents occupied. The only community it fosters is parent (mother) competition.

It can foster an actual sense of community when parents actually know each other and work together to make their children's school a friendlier and more accommodating place. I live in NYC, where things can feel transient and it can be hard to make connections . . . having my DCs in a neighborhood school where we felt welcome and supported as a family made a huge positive impact in our lives here. Volunteers (and volunteering) made that possible. Maybe you don't appreciate the cupcakes, but they aren't what it's really about. For children and families who long to feel grounded in a chaotic world, they manifest something much more important.

None of that has to be done inside the school, distracting the children, and the teachers and the administration.

I'm not sure what you think we were doing that was distracting anyone. But then you never volunteered for anything, did you?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend’s school didn’t have enough people to even have a PTA. No one wanted to be president so they don’t have a pta at all.

My other friend’s school has no organized room parents. There is no staff appreciation. She brings in holiday treats and planned a party for her child’s class.

You should be grateful if you have a school with robust parent involvement. We moved from a mixed SES area to one of the most affluent neighborhoods in the DMV. New school is so organized with tons of volunteers. Each activity, after school club or program requires a parent to lead it. I am grateful to all those parents who are willing to step up for various things.

I was in the school with no volunteers and really it changed nothing.

To be constantly need people fluttering about bringing in cupcakes.

Teachers work hard and educate my children. I am happy to chip in or organize a breakfast or lunch for them.

I like going to my child’s Halloween party and parade, going on field trips and attending school events.

It goes by fast. I’m going to enjoy this phase.

I didn’t say you enjoyed it. I just said it was unnecessary. It’s distracting. And it’s more work for the teachers to entertain you.

But I’m glad you enjoy it

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anybody else feel bad for the parents who feel the need to volunteer for everything their kid does-helps on the field for every football game, chaperones every field trip, flies to every school trip?
And they act like they know all the kids and the “kids just love” them.

It’s almost like they are reliving their youth

No, you sound jealous. Sorry you don't have the emotional energy, free time, or bandwidth to give back to your community.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend’s school didn’t have enough people to even have a PTA. No one wanted to be president so they don’t have a pta at all.

My other friend’s school has no organized room parents. There is no staff appreciation. She brings in holiday treats and planned a party for her child’s class.

You should be grateful if you have a school with robust parent involvement. We moved from a mixed SES area to one of the most affluent neighborhoods in the DMV. New school is so organized with tons of volunteers. Each activity, after school club or program requires a parent to lead it. I am grateful to all those parents who are willing to step up for various things.

I was in the school with no volunteers and really it changed nothing.

To be constantly need people fluttering about bringing in cupcakes.

Agree. It’s just business to keep the parents occupied. The only community it fosters is parent (mother) competition.

It can foster an actual sense of community when parents actually know each other and work together to make their children's school a friendlier and more accommodating place. I live in NYC, where things can feel transient and it can be hard to make connections . . . having my DCs in a neighborhood school where we felt welcome and supported as a family made a huge positive impact in our lives here. Volunteers (and volunteering) made that possible. Maybe you don't appreciate the cupcakes, but they aren't what it's really about. For children and families who long to feel grounded in a chaotic world, they manifest something much more important.

None of that has to be done inside the school, distracting the children, and the teachers and the administration.

Anonymous wrote:Anybody else feel bad for the parents who feel the need to volunteer for everything their kid does-helps on the field for every football game, chaperones every field trip, flies to every school trip?
And they act like they know all the kids and the “kids just love” them.

It’s almost like they are reliving their youth

Anonymous wrote:Anybody else feel bad for the parents who feel the need to volunteer for everything their kid does-helps on the field for every football game, chaperones every field trip, flies to every school trip?
And they act like they know all the kids and the “kids just love” them.

It’s almost like they are reliving their youth

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend’s school didn’t have enough people to even have a PTA. No one wanted to be president so they don’t have a pta at all.

My other friend’s school has no organized room parents. There is no staff appreciation. She brings in holiday treats and planned a party for her child’s class.

You should be grateful if you have a school with robust parent involvement. We moved from a mixed SES area to one of the most affluent neighborhoods in the DMV. New school is so organized with tons of volunteers. Each activity, after school club or program requires a parent to lead it. I am grateful to all those parents who are willing to step up for various things.

I was in the school with no volunteers and really it changed nothing.

To be constantly need people fluttering about bringing in cupcakes.

Agree. It’s just business to keep the parents occupied. The only community it fosters is parent (mother) competition.

It can foster an actual sense of community when parents actually know each other and work together to make their children's school a friendlier and more accommodating place. I live in NYC, where things can feel transient and it can be hard to make connections . . . having my DCs in a neighborhood school where we felt welcome and supported as a family made a huge positive impact in our lives here. Volunteers (and volunteering) made that possible. Maybe you don't appreciate the cupcakes, but they aren't what it's really about. For children and families who long to feel grounded in a chaotic world, they manifest something much more important.

None of that has to be done inside the school, distracting the children, and the teachers and the administration.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend’s school didn’t have enough people to even have a PTA. No one wanted to be president so they don’t have a pta at all.

My other friend’s school has no organized room parents. There is no staff appreciation. She brings in holiday treats and planned a party for her child’s class.

You should be grateful if you have a school with robust parent involvement. We moved from a mixed SES area to one of the most affluent neighborhoods in the DMV. New school is so organized with tons of volunteers. Each activity, after school club or program requires a parent to lead it. I am grateful to all those parents who are willing to step up for various things.

I was in the school with no volunteers and really it changed nothing.

To be constantly need people fluttering about bringing in cupcakes.

Agree. It’s just business to keep the parents occupied. The only community it fosters is parent (mother) competition.

It can foster an actual sense of community when parents actually know each other and work together to make their children's school a friendlier and more accommodating place. I live in NYC, where things can feel transient and it can be hard to make connections . . . having my DCs in a neighborhood school where we felt welcome and supported as a family made a huge positive impact in our lives here. Volunteers (and volunteering) made that possible. Maybe you don't appreciate the cupcakes, but they aren't what it's really about. For children and families who long to feel grounded in a chaotic world, they manifest something much more important.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My friend’s school didn’t have enough people to even have a PTA. No one wanted to be president so they don’t have a pta at all.

My other friend’s school has no organized room parents. There is no staff appreciation. She brings in holiday treats and planned a party for her child’s class.

You should be grateful if you have a school with robust parent involvement. We moved from a mixed SES area to one of the most affluent neighborhoods in the DMV. New school is so organized with tons of volunteers. Each activity, after school club or program requires a parent to lead it. I am grateful to all those parents who are willing to step up for various things.

I was in the school with no volunteers and really it changed nothing.

To be constantly need people fluttering about bringing in cupcakes.

Teachers work hard and educate my children. I am happy to chip in or organize a breakfast or lunch for them.

I like going to my child’s Halloween party and parade, going on field trips and attending school events.

It goes by fast. I’m going to enjoy this phase.