Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand how home care is so expensive. Renting an apartment is say $3k per month; hiring a caretaker (not a nurse, just someone to make sure mom stays in place, who feeds her and takes her to the bathroom) is maybe another 5k per month.
I am friends with a state paid caregiver and she is paid about 5-6k per month to take care of a bedridden dementia patient. The apartment is section 8 in that case.

$5k per month? More like $40 per hour. Differential for overtime, holidays and Sundays. More like $5000 per week.

I think if the family is willing to do some care then this is the only way to make it affordable. move mom into the basement and hire elder care for 40 hrs/week. The rest you do yourself. In some families they rotate the elderly parent between houses.

I am the very first PP.
Since the lady is bedridden there’s changing and feeding every few hrs; there’s repositioning a few times a day and bathing/change of bedsheets every week I think. The caregiver can leave for a few hrs at a time. No need for anyone to sit with the patient 24/7 since she can’t elope.

Can we please stop using the word elope? To elope means to run away to get married.

For some reason it’s used a lot on forums for parents of severely autistic kids

Drives me crazy to see that extremely medicalized term used for some little kid who is bored and leaves the playground. Natural thing for a child to do

Anonymous wrote:This thread simply reinforces my desire to die or be able to end my life before I end up in any stage or memory care.

Honestly, what are we doing as a society.

My MIL's sister is in one of these places. No one can visit her without becoming emotionally shaken because it's so depressing.

Anonymous wrote:The "people" who care for elderly people at home are nearly always women, and many of this women end up quitting their own jobs and sabotaging their own futures in order to do so. We act like this is natural and like it doesn't harm anyone. This isn't true. it's exhausting, thankless work and many of the arguments about the second shift and women doing twice as much around the house that occurred when there were young children in the home can resurface again when there are elderly people in the home requiring care. Scenarios like a guy who still golfs every Saturday while his wife stays home to look after his elderly mother and father. Women who spend years doing a second shift in their twenties and thirties and then again in their own fifties and sixties. Women who don't go to their own doctor's appointments because they can't find a babysitter for mom, so mom gets medical care while her daughter ends up with some undiagnosed disease until it's too late. It's amazing how often we undervalue women's labor and overlook the sheer amounts of work they do.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are missing the fact that if there was a legal way to euthanize seniors, you'd have POS kids trying to off their parents prematurely so they can get their inheritance.

Honestly there boomers are planning to drain every cent

Exactly, I don’t have a horse in this race as my parent is poor as a church mouse but I can’t believe how much money is wasted on elder care.

It's not a waste---we don't just kill people off because they are old

I don’t think you can legally “kill” anyone but they don’t need all the bells and whistles.
Someone to give them meds,
Change diapers, feed, rotate if bedridden. Sleep aid to not wander at night.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand how home care is so expensive. Renting an apartment is say $3k per month; hiring a caretaker (not a nurse, just someone to make sure mom stays in place, who feeds her and takes her to the bathroom) is maybe another 5k per month.
I am friends with a state paid caregiver and she is paid about 5-6k per month to take care of a bedridden dementia patient. The apartment is section 8 in that case.

$5k per month? More like $40 per hour. Differential for overtime, holidays and Sundays. More like $5000 per week.

I think if the family is willing to do some care then this is the only way to make it affordable. move mom into the basement and hire elder care for 40 hrs/week. The rest you do yourself. In some families they rotate the elderly parent between houses.

I am the very first PP.
Since the lady is bedridden there’s changing and feeding every few hrs; there’s repositioning a few times a day and bathing/change of bedsheets every week I think. The caregiver can leave for a few hrs at a time. No need for anyone to sit with the patient 24/7 since she can’t elope.

Can we please stop using the word elope? To elope means to run away to get married.

For some reason it’s used a lot on forums for parents of severely autistic kids

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand how home care is so expensive. Renting an apartment is say $3k per month; hiring a caretaker (not a nurse, just someone to make sure mom stays in place, who feeds her and takes her to the bathroom) is maybe another 5k per month.
I am friends with a state paid caregiver and she is paid about 5-6k per month to take care of a bedridden dementia patient. The apartment is section 8 in that case.

$5k per month? More like $40 per hour. Differential for overtime, holidays and Sundays. More like $5000 per week.

I think if the family is willing to do some care then this is the only way to make it affordable. move mom into the basement and hire elder care for 40 hrs/week. The rest you do yourself. In some families they rotate the elderly parent between houses.

I am the very first PP.
Since the lady is bedridden there’s changing and feeding every few hrs; there’s repositioning a few times a day and bathing/change of bedsheets every week I think. The caregiver can leave for a few hrs at a time. No need for anyone to sit with the patient 24/7 since she can’t elope.

Can we please stop using the word elope? To elope means to run away to get married.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand how home care is so expensive. Renting an apartment is say $3k per month; hiring a caretaker (not a nurse, just someone to make sure mom stays in place, who feeds her and takes her to the bathroom) is maybe another 5k per month.
I am friends with a state paid caregiver and she is paid about 5-6k per month to take care of a bedridden dementia patient. The apartment is section 8 in that case.

$5k per month? More like $40 per hour. Differential for overtime, holidays and Sundays. More like $5000 per week.

I think if the family is willing to do some care then this is the only way to make it affordable. move mom into the basement and hire elder care for 40 hrs/week. The rest you do yourself. In some families they rotate the elderly parent between houses.

I am the very first PP.
Since the lady is bedridden there’s changing and feeding every few hrs; there’s repositioning a few times a day and bathing/change of bedsheets every week I think. The caregiver can leave for a few hrs at a time. No need for anyone to sit with the patient 24/7 since she can’t elope.

Can we please stop using the word elope? To elope means to run away to get married.

For some reason it’s used a lot on forums for parents of severely autistic kids

The 'some reason' is because it is a medical term - like many words in the English language, it has different meanings in different contexts.

One meaning is to run off and get married without parental permission and/or without guests and formal celebration, but the other meaning applies to dementia patients, psych patients, and those with developmental disorders or on the spectrum whose symptoms require they be monitored 24/7 and not to walk freely in the world without supervision.

So yes, you will see people posting about eloping elders and eloping children because that is what the medical system calls it when your patient escapes a restricted setting and goes off into the world to face all the dangers inherent there for somebody without the mental faculties to care for themselves.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand how home care is so expensive. Renting an apartment is say $3k per month; hiring a caretaker (not a nurse, just someone to make sure mom stays in place, who feeds her and takes her to the bathroom) is maybe another 5k per month.
I am friends with a state paid caregiver and she is paid about 5-6k per month to take care of a bedridden dementia patient. The apartment is section 8 in that case.

$5k per month? More like $40 per hour. Differential for overtime, holidays and Sundays. More like $5000 per week.

I think if the family is willing to do some care then this is the only way to make it affordable. move mom into the basement and hire elder care for 40 hrs/week. The rest you do yourself. In some families they rotate the elderly parent between houses.

I am the very first PP.
Since the lady is bedridden there’s changing and feeding every few hrs; there’s repositioning a few times a day and bathing/change of bedsheets every week I think. The caregiver can leave for a few hrs at a time. No need for anyone to sit with the patient 24/7 since she can’t elope.

Can we please stop using the word elope? To elope means to run away to get married.

For some reason it’s used a lot on forums for parents of severely autistic kids

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This sounds like a scam you can get a nanny for 50-60k/year

It's not. Have you ever met an adult? A nanny can change the diaper of a two year old.

But someone who is six feet tall and weighs 200 pounds? It's a lot harder.

The CNAs at my dad's nursing home had to use a winch like device to place him on the toilet, because he would have crushed them otherwise.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand how home care is so expensive. Renting an apartment is say $3k per month; hiring a caretaker (not a nurse, just someone to make sure mom stays in place, who feeds her and takes her to the bathroom) is maybe another 5k per month.
I am friends with a state paid caregiver and she is paid about 5-6k per month to take care of a bedridden dementia patient. The apartment is section 8 in that case.

$5k per month? More like $40 per hour. Differential for overtime, holidays and Sundays. More like $5000 per week.

I think if the family is willing to do some care then this is the only way to make it affordable. move mom into the basement and hire elder care for 40 hrs/week. The rest you do yourself. In some families they rotate the elderly parent between houses.

I am the very first PP.
Since the lady is bedridden there’s changing and feeding every few hrs; there’s repositioning a few times a day and bathing/change of bedsheets every week I think. The caregiver can leave for a few hrs at a time. No need for anyone to sit with the patient 24/7 since she can’t elope.

Can we please stop using the word elope? To elope means to run away to get married.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People are missing the fact that if there was a legal way to euthanize seniors, you'd have POS kids trying to off their parents prematurely so they can get their inheritance.

Honestly there boomers are planning to drain every cent

Exactly, I don’t have a horse in this race as my parent is poor as a church mouse but I can’t believe how much money is wasted on elder care.

It's not a waste---we don't just kill people off because they are old

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand how home care is so expensive. Renting an apartment is say $3k per month; hiring a caretaker (not a nurse, just someone to make sure mom stays in place, who feeds her and takes her to the bathroom) is maybe another 5k per month.
I am friends with a state paid caregiver and she is paid about 5-6k per month to take care of a bedridden dementia patient. The apartment is section 8 in that case.

$5k per month? More like $40 per hour. Differential for overtime, holidays and Sundays. More like $5000 per week.

I think if the family is willing to do some care then this is the only way to make it affordable. move mom into the basement and hire elder care for 40 hrs/week. The rest you do yourself. In some families they rotate the elderly parent between houses.

I am the very first PP.
Since the lady is bedridden there’s changing and feeding every few hrs; there’s repositioning a few times a day and bathing/change of bedsheets every week I think. The caregiver can leave for a few hrs at a time. No need for anyone to sit with the patient 24/7 since she can’t elope.

The problem with leaving a bedridden patient alone in the home while the caregiver runs errands etc. is that the patient can die a horrible death in a house fire with nobody there to get them to safety.

Down the road from where I live nearly a dozen assisted living residents died in a facility fire because there were only two caregivers on staff overnight and the majority of the residents who had mobility issues could not get themselves out of the facility when it started up in flames. Firefighters saved dozens but they couldn't save them all.

That's the potential price of leaving disabled people unattended. One could argue that death by smoke inhalation isn't all that bad compared to the ravages of dementia decompensating a patient for several years until the sweet release of death finally comes.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand how home care is so expensive. Renting an apartment is say $3k per month; hiring a caretaker (not a nurse, just someone to make sure mom stays in place, who feeds her and takes her to the bathroom) is maybe another 5k per month.
I am friends with a state paid caregiver and she is paid about 5-6k per month to take care of a bedridden dementia patient. The apartment is section 8 in that case.

Does your friend work 24/7?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand how home care is so expensive. Renting an apartment is say $3k per month; hiring a caretaker (not a nurse, just someone to make sure mom stays in place, who feeds her and takes her to the bathroom) is maybe another 5k per month.
I am friends with a state paid caregiver and she is paid about 5-6k per month to take care of a bedridden dementia patient. The apartment is section 8 in that case.

You need 24/7 care. That is 3 people per day, and different people on weekends. So $15K just for the M-F care, so easy to see how $20-25K/mohth. Also nobody works for those prices. It's hard laborious work.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t understand how home care is so expensive. Renting an apartment is say $3k per month; hiring a caretaker (not a nurse, just someone to make sure mom stays in place, who feeds her and takes her to the bathroom) is maybe another 5k per month.
I am friends with a state paid caregiver and she is paid about 5-6k per month to take care of a bedridden dementia patient. The apartment is section 8 in that case.

$5-6k a month for 24 hour care?!? How do you pull that off, I’d really like to know. It’s usually at least triple that