56 and I still turn heads. The heads are very different, though.

Anonymous wrote:It was a relief to me not to "turn heads" and happened while going through menopause. Partially because of meno belly , partially because I have sweat rolling off me most of the time so my hair and makeup (if I bother) always look awful.

This post makes menopausal women a disservice making us look like we lack hygiene, and don’t care of our appearance. You might be sweating because of extra weight or not checking your hormone balance. Or need consider HRT if it’s that bad.

My skin became perfectly clean in my mid-late 40s (and I suffered from acne my entire life). Neither do I have a memo belly: I workout 15 hrs a week with weights, swim, and maintain healthy diet.

I am in menopause at 47 and finally have lost weight after gaining a lot in my early 40s. I look better now than I did at 40, surprisingly. I have started wearing colors that complement my skin/hair (used to mainly wear black). Young coworker interested but I won't pursue anything with him. I think confidence and style can help. But this is not to say I want to turn heads.

Somewhere on my awful fertility journey that caused a 50 pound weight gain in 3 years.

It was a relief to me not to "turn heads" and happened while going through menopause. Partially because of meno belly , partially because I have sweat rolling off me most of the time so my hair and makeup (if I bother) always look awful.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 42 and an Asian twin. We are tall and thin with long dark hair. We have turned heads our whole lives, especially when we are together. It’s gotten even worse as our daughters have gotten older and walk around with us. They are stunning.

So many amazingly beautiful women on DCUM! Many of whom look far younger than their age. I'm not sure where they're all hiding in DC (but maybe DCUM just attracts beautiful women from around the country).

NP but curious why you picked this Asian poster specifically for your sarcastic takedown?

Not the pp Asian poster. I’m also Asian and in my forties and I have very attractive friends. They wear size 0-2, super fit, great skin, long straight or curled hair and they look fantastic. Some have fake boobs with their thin bodies.

I’m the more frumpy one in my group with a ponytail most days and minimal make up. I clean up ok when I actually try.

Size 0-2 is not really attractive. That said all Asian women I see in dmv are obese

Anonymous wrote:Mid 30s i realized i was no longer attractive beyond that’s a pretty married woman. In my 40s i realized i looked good for 40 but was no desirable to people i would randomly meet.

This is how I feel at age 47. I didn’t feel that way at age 40. I think I looked my best at 39-40 after I was done having kids, back to my pre pregnancy weight and the most fit I have ever been.

Mid 30s i realized i was no longer attractive beyond that’s a pretty married woman. In my 40s i realized i looked good for 40 but was no desirable to people i would randomly meet.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am 42 and an Asian twin. We are tall and thin with long dark hair. We have turned heads our whole lives, especially when we are together. It’s gotten even worse as our daughters have gotten older and walk around with us. They are stunning.

So many amazingly beautiful women on DCUM! Many of whom look far younger than their age. I'm not sure where they're all hiding in DC (but maybe DCUM just attracts beautiful women from around the country).

NP but curious why you picked this Asian poster specifically for your sarcastic takedown?

Not the pp Asian poster. I’m also Asian and in my forties and I have very attractive friends. They wear size 0-2, super fit, great skin, long straight or curled hair and they look fantastic. Some have fake boobs with their thin bodies.

I’m the more frumpy one in my group with a ponytail most days and minimal make up. I clean up ok when I actually try.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

That's why I trained my daughters to get their hair and makeup routine to 10 min. They need to conform to society's standards

Need? Why?

Not that poster but presumably she wants to make sure her daughters have enough “pretty privilege” that they are not actively penalized for their appearance- by prospective romantic interests, employers, hell even just people out in public. But she doesn’t want them to waste a ton of time on it or be obsessed with their looks.

I grew up in a house that did not focus on appearance at all, and now I see that putting yourself together was probably criticized. (I say probably because I don’t recall specific comments that led me to believe that in childhood but have heard my parents and siblings make plenty once I was an adult.)

So it was a shocker to me to enter the working world and see how much appearance impacted life. I’m a slow learner, and yes, I should have realized it sooner.

My own approach with my children is to tell them that the world does focus on external appearance and looking nice is an advantage. But at the same time, it’s a BS stand in for other positive attributes which aren’t actually tied to appearance. So they should take this advice and use it how they see best in the world.

Anonymous wrote:

That's why I trained my daughters to get their hair and makeup routine to 10 min. They need to conform to society's standards

Need? Why?

Not that poster but presumably she wants to make sure her daughters have enough “pretty privilege” that they are not actively penalized for their appearance- by prospective romantic interests, employers, hell even just people out in public. But she doesn’t want them to waste a ton of time on it or be obsessed with their looks.

49 and I still notice men checking me at times. Not younger men so much lol but been around my age for sure.

I love that I don’t have to worry about men’s weird sexual energy toward young women. Being attractive in your teens 20s and 30s can be hell. It has its perks, but it also has led to many uncomfortable and scary experiences for me. I don’t miss it.

My career, the way I’m treated in public, everybody just treats me a little bit better and more respectfully now I’m not seen as just a sexual object that people feel can push around or that I’m dumber or beneath them.

I miss some things about youth but that weird creepy energy some men have is not one.

Mid-40’s.

That's why I trained my daughters to get their hair and makeup routine to 10 min. They need to conform to society's standards

Need? Why?

Anonymous wrote:^ I have great hair and I was wearing bright lipstick.

High heels ?