Anonymous
Post 03/21/2025 20:05     Subject: Re:DD assaulted
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I think perhaps OP’s reaction to this is more traumatic for her daughter than what the bit did. I’m not trying to minimize this at all. Inappropriate touching is not ok. But if you go scorched earth over something relatively minor like this you aren’t helping your child process, you are further traumatizing them.


She is very sensitive so it not about holding grudges she just can't get over it. I just want to do everything I can to help.


A therapist.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2025 18:22     Subject: DD assaulted
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What will the report do for your DD? If it's that important, why don't you write the report yourself and then give it to her as a way to heal? My point is that her healing will come from within, not through a report.


She can't see him free and get away with it just because of his age and the severity. If he was an adult, he probably would of gotten legal consequences already. The fact that something considered SA is left alone without being reported won't help her heal ever.


OP: Is the earlier characterization in this thread that he lightly touched her thigh accurate? Because, if so, I think you should focus on the mental health issues/environment that are making your daughter have this large of a reaction to a pretty innocuous, reasonably characterized as annoying incident. If she is really having PTSD over this, there are either underlying mental health issues or the PTSD is related to the level of attention/how everything has played out and not the incident itself. No HSer should be having PTSD because someone lightly touched their thigh once.


OP- She dealt with harsh feelings after the incident and triggers, but how the cop treated her after he told her we could make a report and then later refused while she was upset is what made her experience worse. What underlying issues were you thinking?
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2025 16:59     Subject: DD assaulted
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What will the report do for your DD? If it's that important, why don't you write the report yourself and then give it to her as a way to heal? My point is that her healing will come from within, not through a report.


She can't see him free and get away with it just because of his age and the severity. If he was an adult, he probably would of gotten legal consequences already. The fact that something considered SA is left alone without being reported won't help her heal ever.


OP: Is the earlier characterization in this thread that he lightly touched her thigh accurate? Because, if so, I think you should focus on the mental health issues/environment that are making your daughter have this large of a reaction to a pretty innocuous, reasonably characterized as annoying incident. If she is really having PTSD over this, there are either underlying mental health issues or the PTSD is related to the level of attention/how everything has played out and not the incident itself. No HSer should be having PTSD because someone lightly touched their thigh once.


Have to agree with this. I'm the PP who was groped who has been posting. I am not trying to undermine what happened to your DD, but her reaction and the PTSD response does concern me that there is something else going on. And no, an adult wouldn't have faced any legal consequences for touching a women's thigh. I really , really hope you get your daughter a therapist to help her work through this.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2025 16:08     Subject: DD assaulted
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:What will the report do for your DD? If it's that important, why don't you write the report yourself and then give it to her as a way to heal? My point is that her healing will come from within, not through a report.


She can't see him free and get away with it just because of his age and the severity. If he was an adult, he probably would of gotten legal consequences already. The fact that something considered SA is left alone without being reported won't help her heal ever.


OP: Is the earlier characterization in this thread that he lightly touched her thigh accurate? Because, if so, I think you should focus on the mental health issues/environment that are making your daughter have this large of a reaction to a pretty innocuous, reasonably characterized as annoying incident. If she is really having PTSD over this, there are either underlying mental health issues or the PTSD is related to the level of attention/how everything has played out and not the incident itself. No HSer should be having PTSD because someone lightly touched their thigh once.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2025 15:59     Subject: DD assaulted
Anonymous wrote:What will the report do for your DD? If it's that important, why don't you write the report yourself and then give it to her as a way to heal? My point is that her healing will come from within, not through a report.


She can't see him free and get away with it just because of his age and the severity. If he was an adult, he probably would of gotten legal consequences already. The fact that something considered SA is left alone without being reported won't help her heal ever.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2025 15:23     Subject: DD assaulted
What will the report do for your DD? If it's that important, why don't you write the report yourself and then give it to her as a way to heal? My point is that her healing will come from within, not through a report.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2025 13:47     Subject: DD assaulted
Get a lawyer OP.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2025 12:16     Subject: DD assaulted
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So if she is holding grudges and say nothing comes out of you pursuing legal actions then who is going to hold the grudges against? The cops? The school system? The society in general? You and your daughter both need some therapy.


No, people have said nothing will come out of it not my DD. It would make her feel better to have a report filed, even if nothing came out of it . She has a hard time forgiving, and doing any time of restorative justice let alone being anywhere near him would be too traumatizing.


I say this as a victim og sexual assault, you and your daughter need to get some perspective about this.


As a fellow victim of sexual assault, I almost want to tell her to go to a victims support group. I don't, because it's not really fair to the other members, but it would definitely give some perspective. Like a colleague with 3 kids who had a super early miscarriage with a fourth and went to a pregnancy loss meeting. Let's just say, she got over herself fast.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2025 12:12     Subject: DD assaulted
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So if she is holding grudges and say nothing comes out of you pursuing legal actions then who is going to hold the grudges against? The cops? The school system? The society in general? You and your daughter both need some therapy.


No, people have said nothing will come out of it not my DD. It would make her feel better to have a report filed, even if nothing came out of it . She has a hard time forgiving, and doing any time of restorative justice let alone being anywhere near him would be too traumatizing.


Sounds like she has a bunch of issues. Therapy.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2025 12:11     Subject: DD assaulted
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:So if she is holding grudges and say nothing comes out of you pursuing legal actions then who is going to hold the grudges against? The cops? The school system? The society in general? You and your daughter both need some therapy.


No, people have said nothing will come out of it not my DD. It would make her feel better to have a report filed, even if nothing came out of it . She has a hard time forgiving, and doing any time of restorative justice let alone being anywhere near him would be too traumatizing.


I say this as a victim og sexual assault, you and your daughter need to get some perspective about this.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2025 11:50     Subject: DD assaulted
Anonymous wrote:So if she is holding grudges and say nothing comes out of you pursuing legal actions then who is going to hold the grudges against? The cops? The school system? The society in general? You and your daughter both need some therapy.


No, people have said nothing will come out of it not my DD. It would make her feel better to have a report filed, even if nothing came out of it . She has a hard time forgiving, and doing any time of restorative justice let alone being anywhere near him would be too traumatizing.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2025 11:48     Subject: DD assaulted
I can almost guarantee this kid has some sort of IEP that is forcing the school to keep allowing him back. Sounds like he belongs in jail for a variety of reasons and it’s only a matter of time until he ends up there. Once he’s 18 the school won’t be able to rescue him.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2025 11:45     Subject: Re:DD assaulted
Is your DD willing to move schools?

If she really wants to, you should file the report by going above the officer’s head.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2025 11:27     Subject: DD assaulted
Anonymous wrote:Why not see if the school could arrange a restorative justice session, OP?

I believe that could be the most therapeutic and uplifting pathway forward for everyone.


This is a good idea. Sounds like OP and her DD have things to say. Get it all out and then move on. Your posts are unhealthy.
Anonymous
Post 03/21/2025 11:25     Subject: DD assaulted
Anonymous wrote:So this is about grudges, not something that the boy did or even your daughter experienced. You and your daughter both sound deranged. This I write as a parent of a daughter.


+1
I'm sorry this happened OP but teaching you are not doing right by your daughter if you are teaching or vengeance rather than justice.
I think justice was served. The child was punished with a pretty hefty suspension. He's still a child. You sound like you just want revenge and your DD does too. It's not a great way to go through life.