Anonymous wrote:I do all the laundry and all the housecleaning too. As in, we don't employ cleaners.

That said, I think OP's DH is being totally unreasonable. I would tell him that I will do one full load of his clothes per week and one set of towels per week (with the other family members' towels.) If he wants more than that, its on him.

+100

The amount of laundry OP's husband is generating is crazy!!! That's probably a load of laundry daily!

She should do 1-2 loads of laundry for him a week, which in addition to hers, kids, sheets, etc. is probably still at least 1 load a laundry a day.

Having to do multiple loads of laundry EVERY SINGLE day is too much to ask especially when the person generating the "mess" is not a baby and capable of doing it themselves. Not to mention that it is sooo unnecessary.

I'm going to disagree a bit. SAH spouse with toddler and baby, that's hard and DH should pitch in with laundry. School age kids or kids in preschool part day, the SAH spouse should handle the laundry.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do all the family laundry. I feel like it's more efficient that way and uses less water/energy. I also put away my husband's laundry, along with mine, but have the kids do their own.TBH, I feel like it's part of being a SAH parent.

Agreed. I'd feel the same about most things that "othered" DH. Like it wouldn't be acceptable to make food for me, the kids and then leave DH to cook for himself. I dont understand the point. It's the "job" of the SAH spouse to take care of the home. Laundry, cooking, cleaning is all part of that.

I make lunch for me and the kids and leave poor DH to fend for himself most days.
Sometimes I make him breakfast. I really only regularly make him dinner.

So he pay the mortgage, utilities, car payment, retirement funds, vacations, school/kid activities and the food, and you won't even throw an egg in a pan for him? Yikes. Some of these men could majorly level up if they knew how lazy their wives are.

He would still have his exact same job and pay for all of that stuff if I died.

I assume the upgrade would be a new wife, not a dead one. But if you think its an upgrade if you died that's quite telling.

I’m sorry. Why is it an upgrade if I die?
I can promise you that second wife won’t be as much fun in bed or as good of a cook as I am, even if she does pour his bran flakes for him and wash his dirty underwear.

Anonymous wrote:Do you do your spouse’s laundry?

DH is all put out that he is the only person in the whole world with a SAH spouse who has to do his own laundry.
I think it’s normal.

Also, he exercises 3-4 days a week and refuses to use towels or wear jeans more than once, so he has a lot of laundry.

yes i do his laundry! And he produces a lot more than I do or either of the kids. Sometimes I'm a little annoyed that I end up washing and folding his laundry almost daily, but then i remember how lovely it is i get to stay home with my toddler and sweet baby

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do all the family laundry. I feel like it's more efficient that way and uses less water/energy. I also put away my husband's laundry, along with mine, but have the kids do their own.TBH, I feel like it's part of being a SAH parent.

Agreed. I'd feel the same about most things that "othered" DH. Like it wouldn't be acceptable to make food for me, the kids and then leave DH to cook for himself. I dont understand the point. It's the "job" of the SAH spouse to take care of the home. Laundry, cooking, cleaning is all part of that.

I make lunch for me and the kids and leave poor DH to fend for himself most days.
Sometimes I make him breakfast. I really only regularly make him dinner.

So he pay the mortgage, utilities, car payment, retirement funds, vacations, school/kid activities and the food, and you won't even throw an egg in a pan for him? Yikes. Some of these men could majorly level up if they knew how lazy their wives are.

He would still have his exact same job and pay for all of that stuff if I died.

I assume the upgrade would be a new wife, not a dead one. But if you think its an upgrade if you died that's quite telling.

We don’t divide laundry in our household, and divide household labor pretty evenly (my DH does more hands on parenting, I do more admin stuff, and we share/split laundry, cooking, and cleaning). We both work FT: he’s fully remote and I WOH four days a week (remote on Friday) and he makes over double my salary.

Anonymous wrote:Do you do your spouse’s laundry?

DH is all put out that he is the only person in the whole world with a SAH spouse who has to do his own laundry.
I think it’s normal.

Also, he exercises 3-4 days a week and refuses to use towels or wear jeans more than once, so he has a lot of laundry.

We both do the laundry but I do it more.

I don’t iron his shirts …

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've since gone back to work 30 hours a week but no, I stopped doing DH's laundry once we had kids.

To elaborate..

Once we had 2 kids, I was doing my own laundry twice a week, kids laundry once or twice a week x2, 3 sheet sets once a week, towels once a week... I made DH do his own because that was already 7-8 loads of laundry a week. The kids are getting older now... I manage them doing their own laundry as in it's a chore they sometimes need help with but it's not 100% on me anymore.

That is one load a day. Wtf are people doing all day? It's not like anyone is hand scrubbing clothing, the machine does it all. I don't understand why you wouldn't jut pop it in the washer and then go about your day. So many lazy SAHPs!

I SAH and do all my own housework (no cleaners) and agree one load a day for the family is totally reasonable. But it sounds like OP’s DH creates a load a day just himself, which is absurd and so wasteful.

My wife thinks Kooking, Kleaning and Beijing are three cities in China.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do all the family laundry. I feel like it's more efficient that way and uses less water/energy. I also put away my husband's laundry, along with mine, but have the kids do their own.TBH, I feel like it's part of being a SAH parent.

Agreed. I'd feel the same about most things that "othered" DH. Like it wouldn't be acceptable to make food for me, the kids and then leave DH to cook for himself. I dont understand the point. It's the "job" of the SAH spouse to take care of the home. Laundry, cooking, cleaning is all part of that.

I make lunch for me and the kids and leave poor DH to fend for himself most days.
Sometimes I make him breakfast. I really only regularly make him dinner.

So he pay the mortgage, utilities, car payment, retirement funds, vacations, school/kid activities and the food, and you won't even throw an egg in a pan for him? Yikes. Some of these men could majorly level up if they knew how lazy their wives are.

He would still have his exact same job and pay for all of that stuff if I died.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do all the family laundry. I feel like it's more efficient that way and uses less water/energy. I also put away my husband's laundry, along with mine, but have the kids do their own.TBH, I feel like it's part of being a SAH parent.

Agreed. I'd feel the same about most things that "othered" DH. Like it wouldn't be acceptable to make food for me, the kids and then leave DH to cook for himself. I dont understand the point. It's the "job" of the SAH spouse to take care of the home. Laundry, cooking, cleaning is all part of that.

I make lunch for me and the kids and leave poor DH to fend for himself most days.
Sometimes I make him breakfast. I really only regularly make him dinner.

So he pay the mortgage, utilities, car payment, retirement funds, vacations, school/kid activities and the food, and you won't even throw an egg in a pan for him? Yikes. Some of these men could majorly level up if they knew how lazy their wives are.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I do all the family laundry. I feel like it's more efficient that way and uses less water/energy. I also put away my husband's laundry, along with mine, but have the kids do their own.TBH, I feel like it's part of being a SAH parent.

Agreed. I'd feel the same about most things that "othered" DH. Like it wouldn't be acceptable to make food for me, the kids and then leave DH to cook for himself. I dont understand the point. It's the "job" of the SAH spouse to take care of the home. Laundry, cooking, cleaning is all part of that.

I make lunch for me and the kids and leave poor DH to fend for himself most days.
Sometimes I make him breakfast. I really only regularly make him dinner.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I've since gone back to work 30 hours a week but no, I stopped doing DH's laundry once we had kids.

To elaborate..

Once we had 2 kids, I was doing my own laundry twice a week, kids laundry once or twice a week x2, 3 sheet sets once a week, towels once a week... I made DH do his own because that was already 7-8 loads of laundry a week. The kids are getting older now... I manage them doing their own laundry as in it's a chore they sometimes need help with but it's not 100% on me anymore.

That is one load a day. Wtf are people doing all day? It's not like anyone is hand scrubbing clothing, the machine does it all. I don't understand why you wouldn't jut pop it in the washer and then go about your day. So many lazy SAHPs!

Anonymous wrote:I do all the family laundry. I feel like it's more efficient that way and uses less water/energy. I also put away my husband's laundry, along with mine, but have the kids do their own.TBH, I feel like it's part of being a SAH parent.

Agreed. I'd feel the same about most things that "othered" DH. Like it wouldn't be acceptable to make food for me, the kids and then leave DH to cook for himself. I dont understand the point. It's the "job" of the SAH spouse to take care of the home. Laundry, cooking, cleaning is all part of that.

Anonymous wrote:Do you do your spouse’s laundry?

DH is all put out that he is the only person in the whole world with a SAH spouse who has to do his own laundry.
I think it’s normal.

Also, he exercises 3-4 days a week and refuses to use towels or wear jeans more than once, so he has a lot of laundry.

Yes, I do his laundry. It is important to him and a way that I can show my care and appreciation for his hard work.