Anonymous wrote:What's the plumbing like in the place? Original copper pipes?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the girlfriend is from there why doesn't she offer one of her relative's houses to a group of frat boys she's never met for the summer.

This! +♾️

she sounds like a user and abuser. And like she’s only going to be with him temporarily until she finds a bigger fool

BIL’s girlfriend is a single mom in her 40s or 50s currently dating the fool BIL who inherited millions of dollars and has no heirs. That’s a whale to someone her age.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If the girlfriend is from there why doesn't she offer one of her relative's houses to a group of frat boys she's never met for the summer.

This! +♾️

she sounds like a user and abuser. And like she’s only going to be with him temporarily until she finds a bigger fool

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This thread is so DCUM. The brother in law doesn’t think he has a legal claim. He has an emotional one. If his parents had bought this house in their retirement, he had never been there, and his sister bought him out, he wouldn’t feel he had a claim to it.
He probably doesn’t have children of his own, and feels this is a chance to live vicariously through his step son and recreate memories.

Or it’s just some p*ssy whipped sap being coerced and exploited by a gold digger. Imagine asking your new boyfriend or girlfriend for $60,000 cash. This isn’t up for discussion or debate. Hell no is right. The BIL is a gullible mark. I would bet anything he’s showering the mom with gifts and cash, too.

Anonymous wrote:This thread is so DCUM. The brother in law doesn’t think he has a legal claim. He has an emotional one. If his parents had bought this house in their retirement, he had never been there, and his sister bought him out, he wouldn’t feel he had a claim to it.
He probably doesn’t have children of his own, and feels this is a chance to live vicariously through his step son and recreate memories.

Anonymous wrote:Also wanted to add emotional claim is funny to make as this is not even his kid and not a stepson either, they're not married. He's gf's adult son! They most likely haven't even dated long and BIL simply wanted to show off.

Anonymous wrote:My wife's father died four years ago, her mother died 6 months later. The estate was large and included a big house in upper NW, a simple beach house in NC and a 2 bed Co-Op in Grammercy Park.

She has a brother (childless) living in Seattle. We are here in DC and have 3 kids. Neither my wife nor her brother wanted the NY apartment or the DC house. We wanted the NC beach house. He didn't, despite spending many summers there as a boy.

He was fine to have the proceeds of the sale of the other two properties distributed accordingly so we could have the beach house. Basically, we took ~$400,000 less than he did during the sales and called the beach house ours. Everyone was happy.

Now, he is dating a woman that is, ironically, from eastern NC; although, she lives in Seattle. She has a 20 yo son from a previous marriage living in NC. Long story short- my BIL has offered this kid and his frat brothers our beach house for the summer. We have never even met him. I told him no before I even spoke with my wife. Later, when I told my wife, she elevated it to a "hell no".

Now he's fuming and accusing us of 'taking' his 'childhood beach house'

How do you even begin to address an asshat like this?

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And emotional claims don't matter. np here. Legal keeps the emotion out of it. I'm of the opinion that people can ask -anything- Be ok with them asking (not informing). And others shouldn't be faulted or resented for asking. Just say no. Resentment that they asked, this does the most damage to a relationship.

Emotions matter in relationships. It wouldn’t matter if OP and his wife had sold the beach house to a stranger. The brother wouldn’t feel he had a claim.
He feels that it is still in the family and he has an emotional connection.

+1. An emotional claim is valid, even though it’s not legal. I think OP would let brother use the cottage in other circumstances, i.e. a family trip with BIL, new wife, step son together, or really any other thing besides a frat party for that reason, rather than being all “well ACKSHULLY you have no legal ownership so pound sand buddy!” about it.

I don’t know why this has to be some big deal. Unsupervised frat parties aren’t allowed, but he can still visit when it works with OP’s schedule. He’ll get over it. Every snap reaction minor hissy fit that comes along is not worth starting a fight, jeez.

Beach rental in OBX routinely run $5000 a week and up. There are 12 weeks in a summer. You don't see the big deal in offering someone else's 60 grand away for free?

I think the BIL has found the thread.

DP. I also don’t think it has to be that big of a deal. BIL has no power here and OP and his wife have all of the power. It’s conceivable that BIL might stay there sometime in the future, but his girlfriend’s son can’t stay there for the summer. That’s it. It doesn’t have to be a family feud.

It shouldn’t be but it sounds like the brother is “fuming” and making it a big deal.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And emotional claims don't matter. np here. Legal keeps the emotion out of it. I'm of the opinion that people can ask -anything- Be ok with them asking (not informing). And others shouldn't be faulted or resented for asking. Just say no. Resentment that they asked, this does the most damage to a relationship.

Emotions matter in relationships. It wouldn’t matter if OP and his wife had sold the beach house to a stranger. The brother wouldn’t feel he had a claim.
He feels that it is still in the family and he has an emotional connection.

+1. An emotional claim is valid, even though it’s not legal. I think OP would let brother use the cottage in other circumstances, i.e. a family trip with BIL, new wife, step son together, or really any other thing besides a frat party for that reason, rather than being all “well ACKSHULLY you have no legal ownership so pound sand buddy!” about it.

I don’t know why this has to be some big deal. Unsupervised frat parties aren’t allowed, but he can still visit when it works with OP’s schedule. He’ll get over it. Every snap reaction minor hissy fit that comes along is not worth starting a fight, jeez.

Beach rental in OBX routinely run $5000 a week and up. There are 12 weeks in a summer. You don't see the big deal in offering someone else's 60 grand away for free?

I think the BIL has found the thread.

DP. I also don’t think it has to be that big of a deal. BIL has no power here and OP and his wife have all of the power. It’s conceivable that BIL might stay there sometime in the future, but his girlfriend’s son can’t stay there for the summer. That’s it. It doesn’t have to be a family feud.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:And emotional claims don't matter. np here. Legal keeps the emotion out of it. I'm of the opinion that people can ask -anything- Be ok with them asking (not informing). And others shouldn't be faulted or resented for asking. Just say no. Resentment that they asked, this does the most damage to a relationship.

Emotions matter in relationships. It wouldn’t matter if OP and his wife had sold the beach house to a stranger. The brother wouldn’t feel he had a claim.
He feels that it is still in the family and he has an emotional connection.

+1. An emotional claim is valid, even though it’s not legal. I think OP would let brother use the cottage in other circumstances, i.e. a family trip with BIL, new wife, step son together, or really any other thing besides a frat party for that reason, rather than being all “well ACKSHULLY you have no legal ownership so pound sand buddy!” about it.

I don’t know why this has to be some big deal. Unsupervised frat parties aren’t allowed, but he can still visit when it works with OP’s schedule. He’ll get over it. Every snap reaction minor hissy fit that comes along is not worth starting a fight, jeez.

Beach rental in OBX routinely run $5000 a week and up. There are 12 weeks in a summer. You don't see the big deal in offering someone else's 60 grand away for free?

I think the BIL has found the thread.

Anonymous wrote:How is ironic that she is from NC? That sounds more coincidental than ironic.