Anonymous
Post 12/03/2024 16:13     Subject: Re:Does anyone actually care where someone, other than their child, goes to college?
Yes, obviously.
Anonymous
Post 12/03/2024 14:39     Subject: Does anyone actually care where someone, other than their child, goes to college?
Anonymous wrote:Do you ever wonder if you're worrying too much about what other people think of where your child attends up attending school?

Like in a previous thread, a parent, god forbid, worried about her child going to UVA instead of an ivy.. does anyone actually give a second thought to where someone else's kid ends up going? I wonder if we are so wrapped up in this out of some desire to impress our family and friends.


Obvi answer is big fat no. This forum will tell you otherwise.
Anonymous
Post 12/03/2024 13:41     Subject: Does anyone actually care where someone, other than their child, goes to college?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If someone else’s kid gets into HYPS and yours is at JMU (or maybe even UVA) then you know on some level you’re going to feel salty about it.


I wouldn't. We didn't do the HYSP prep that some others did. One spent years on getting the right awards for her kid. The kid was a legacy, etc.

My kids would not put up with being crafted or molded into a HYSP contender, so I don't feel a bit bad they didn't go there. I couldn't afford it anyway.


My kid wouldn't put up with "being molded" either. We chose to let them pick their own path in HS---that included taking 8APs, but no APUSH or APEnglish--AP Psych was the only Non-STem course (and no AP FL as it conflicted with WindEnsemble). Also let kid do their "outside of school advanced sport for 15-20+hours/week". Didn't make them try for tons of extra clubs/activities, as I prefer they get some sleep and actually have some time to socialize in HS.

Worked out fine. Kid got Deferred/Rejected from T10, WL at T30, 1st year abroad at T55, accepted at two in the T30-50 and attending the T30-40 school. They love it and are excelling. They are happier there than if they'd gotten into their ED (T10) (IMO---as they like to do well but are not a striver, striver, striver, 200% of the time---I attended that T10 and I think they definately ended up where they should be--it's really the best fit for them).



Wtf? I didn’t mold my kid or design its life and he got into an Ivy unhooked. They did what they wanted (played a sport, joined 1 club they liked), plenty of free time and frankly if you asked sophomore year of HS- kid had idea of any colleges they would apply to. They were getting good grades but not at all thinking of college yet, didn’t even decide to apply to an Ivy until December of Senior year. It’s a fallacy all these kids are scripted or molded. Frankly, the ones I knew gunning for that with tiger parents did not get in to any Ivies. Having a great time in college, not stressed one bit.


+1 another unhooked kid at ivy, unmolded, picked their own activities, aced all the classes/perfect score on almost all testing, piled on EC hours because they loved it, did not suffer in high school. He did not ED just waited for RD to have options open.
For the true brightest, they can do it all and still sleep in high school. When you have a kid like this it makes sense why they get into multiple T10s and others do not. They are a different level. College has been intense and challenging since he picked engineering yet rewarding to be around so many similar kids.


The fact you and PP are both on this specific sub-forum and using college admissions buzzwords teases out you're both full of sh*t.
Anonymous
Post 12/03/2024 13:38     Subject: Does anyone actually care where someone, other than their child, goes to college?
Any euphoria and outside attention lasts maybe two days: Decision day to reveal on social media and the day they go to college, which is also revealed on social media.

After that, other parents start gossiping about majors, internships, who the kids are dating, and then of course full-time job offers or selective professional school.

It actually almost becomes embarrassing to have a kid go to a prestige school and they just end up with a regular 9-5 job any state schooler can get.
Anonymous
Post 12/03/2024 13:35     Subject: Does anyone actually care where someone, other than their child, goes to college?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:If someone else’s kid gets into HYPS and yours is at JMU (or maybe even UVA) then you know on some level you’re going to feel salty about it.


I wouldn't. We didn't do the HYSP prep that some others did. One spent years on getting the right awards for her kid. The kid was a legacy, etc.

My kids would not put up with being crafted or molded into a HYSP contender, so I don't feel a bit bad they didn't go there. I couldn't afford it anyway.


My kid wouldn't put up with "being molded" either. We chose to let them pick their own path in HS---that included taking 8APs, but no APUSH or APEnglish--AP Psych was the only Non-STem course (and no AP FL as it conflicted with WindEnsemble). Also let kid do their "outside of school advanced sport for 15-20+hours/week". Didn't make them try for tons of extra clubs/activities, as I prefer they get some sleep and actually have some time to socialize in HS.

Worked out fine. Kid got Deferred/Rejected from T10, WL at T30, 1st year abroad at T55, accepted at two in the T30-50 and attending the T30-40 school. They love it and are excelling. They are happier there than if they'd gotten into their ED (T10) (IMO---as they like to do well but are not a striver, striver, striver, 200% of the time---I attended that T10 and I think they definately ended up where they should be--it's really the best fit for them).



Wtf? I didn’t mold my kid or design its life and he got into an Ivy unhooked. They did what they wanted (played a sport, joined 1 club they liked), plenty of free time and frankly if you asked sophomore year of HS- kid had idea of any colleges they would apply to. They were getting good grades but not at all thinking of college yet, didn’t even decide to apply to an Ivy until December of Senior year. It’s a fallacy all these kids are scripted or molded. Frankly, the ones I knew gunning for that with tiger parents did not get in to any Ivies. Having a great time in college, not stressed one bit.


+1 another unhooked kid at ivy, unmolded, picked their own activities, aced all the classes/perfect score on almost all testing, piled on EC hours because they loved it, did not suffer in high school. He did not ED just waited for RD to have options open.
For the true brightest, they can do it all and still sleep in high school. When you have a kid like this it makes sense why they get into multiple T10s and others do not. They are a different level. College has been intense and challenging since he picked engineering yet rewarding to be around so many similar kids.
Anonymous
Post 12/03/2024 10:48     Subject: Does anyone actually care where someone, other than their child, goes to college?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Lots of people do in my east Asian circles, because it affects marriage prospects and socialization. A "lowly" college status can be erased if the kid has a successful career, but in the moment, before you know what kids make of their college experience, yes it matters to some people.

Sad, isn't it?


Really sad. I feel bad for the kids. I assume many of the kids with “lowly” status seek to marry outside of the culture? I would. F that!


Not really.

It's not like all asians go to great schools.
In fact only about 40% of them get above a 1300 on their SAT and we don't have a 60% outmarriage rate.

It's not like you can't get married. It's that going to a better school makes you more "eligible"
Anonymous
Post 12/03/2024 10:36     Subject: Does anyone actually care where someone, other than their child, goes to college?
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:Lots of people do in my east Asian circles, because it affects marriage prospects and socialization. A "lowly" college status can be erased if the kid has a successful career, but in the moment, before you know what kids make of their college experience, yes it matters to some people.

Sad, isn't it?


Which schools are considered lowly? Which aren't?

DP

This is only kinda sorta true.

Anything below VT is probably considered low.


What ab penn state


PP

I think that's a bit low, especially for a boy.
His first job is going to matter.
A pretty girl from a good family can get away with VCU fine arts
Anonymous
Post 12/03/2024 10:27     Subject: Does anyone actually care where someone, other than their child, goes to college?
If someone's going to an Ivy, I'm impressed.
If someone's going to my alma mater, I'm interested.
If someone's going to Liberty, I'm side-eying them.

Otherwise, I don't care.
I do some hiring in my job and look at a fair number of resumes. Most of the time I have no clue what the college's reputation is. I have no idea if, for example, Auburn is a better school than Bucknell, and TBH it really doesn't matter to me.
Anonymous
Post 12/03/2024 09:26     Subject: Does anyone actually care where someone, other than their child, goes to college?
Anonymous wrote:I feel like people use it to gauge parents' finances as much as they gauge students' abilities. I don't assume students couldn't get into "better" schools just because they're going in-state, as it could be what the parents could afford or were willing to pay for.


I agree. I “had to” go in-state or would have had massive loan debt. My kid’s best friend is brilliant and accepted many places- but faced a similar situation. There are smart kids everywhere, as well as late bloomers.
Anonymous
Post 12/03/2024 08:39     Subject: Does anyone actually care where someone, other than their child, goes to college?
I care and do ask about it. Now I'm parents may think that is because I am being nosy or trying to judge them, but in reality it is because I am just trying to get info about the character of lots of schools so I can help my kid come up with a good list of places to consider.
Anonymous
Post 12/03/2024 08:34     Subject: Does anyone actually care where someone, other than their child, goes to college?
Anonymous wrote:Do you ever wonder if you're worrying too much about what other people think of where your child attends up attending school?

Like in a previous thread, a parent, god forbid, worried about her child going to UVA instead of an ivy.. does anyone actually give a second thought to where someone else's kid ends up going? I wonder if we are so wrapped up in this out of some desire to impress our family and friends.


Nope. In the past 10 years I have seen too many stressed out kids losing their life and others with major depression and barely hanging on. The common thread is these kids somehow worried that they are not enough. I am happy to hear anyone’s kid is happy. I see a common thread that those kids picked the school they wanted and are pursing something that interests them. I am also partial to hearing about schools that have spirit and are collaborative. College should be fun and not just worry about getting into med school. Any time any parent either starts to brag about HYP etc or attempt to put down a school I immediate exit the conversation.
Anonymous
Post 12/03/2024 08:03     Subject: Does anyone actually care where someone, other than their child, goes to college?
I dont care the name brand of the college. But do I know where my kids' friends are going to college? Yes.
Anonymous
Post 12/03/2024 07:59     Subject: Does anyone actually care where someone, other than their child, goes to college?
There is genuine diversity of people and experiences at public state universities versus the carefully crafted “diversity” of affluent private colleges. No shade on the latter, I graduated from an elite private
College and my kid is at one now. But the truth is the truth.
Anonymous
Post 12/03/2024 07:50     Subject: Re:Does anyone actually care where someone, other than their child, goes to college?
Anonymous wrote:"I don’t care at all. Education is education,"

I've been to both an elite school and a state university, and this is not true. You absolutely will get a better education at some schools than others. Better professors and better peers.

(stupid quotes, grrrr)


I actually think the opposite. I feel like night school might have the best "peers" because you will have people who worked, have life experiences, were in the military.

"Elite" universities will have a bunch of douchbags, mama's boys, sheltered girls, people who will find loopholes in the market to crash the economy, rapists, rich kids, etc.
Anonymous
Post 12/03/2024 07:25     Subject: Does anyone actually care where someone, other than their child, goes to college?
I feel like people use it to gauge parents' finances as much as they gauge students' abilities. I don't assume students couldn't get into "better" schools just because they're going in-state, as it could be what the parents could afford or were willing to pay for.